Ken Rosenthal Cements "Genius" Reputation

by Mr. Met on Feb 2, 2007 5:06 PM EST

Fox Noise (Joe Buck hearts Troy Aikman Division) has determined that the Astros would be "wise" to consummate their unseemly "flirtation" with Steve Trachsel.

Flirting with Steve Trachsel, huh? Go figure. First, I'd like to say that I'd prefer not to be exposed to any mental imagery whatsoever that might remotely involve Steve Trachsel and any hint of sexual activity. Thanks. Moving on.

I'm not sure what sort of beer goggles Rosenthal put on prior to penning his analysis, but I imagine they're thicker than the usual Coke bottles.

I mean, just how drunk would you have to be, from a GM needing pitching standpoint, to want to "flirt" with Trax? I'd be on the floor having seizures from alcohol poisoning before I'd ponder that move, especially if the team hopes to compete for anything. I mean, Trax is the pitching equivalent of that last chick in the bar, with smeared lipstick, torn fishnet stockings, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, and a mug like Willie McGee.

That picture of Trax by itself should be enough to put any suitor off. I mean, just look at that face. It fairly screams, "Urgh! Me well-evolved and erudite modern man! Here come 82 mph "fast" ball. Deal with that, left field bleacher bums!"

Of course, I wish Trax the very best. However, he really ought to pitch in Oakland, if anywhere in the majors, just so he can suck down bottle after bottle of that sweet, sweet, NAPA Valley grape juice, and stay as far the hell away from us as possible.

By the way, if by some wrinkle in the time/space/human intelligence continuum he turns up on the top 50 list I'm afraid I'll have to request my money back from Eric, or at least write a very sternly worded letter to the editor.

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sweet post, Mr. Met

Bringing the snark, and bringing it well, as always.

Imagine the taters Trachs will be serving up for the lucky few in the Crawfish Boxes. Godspeed, Astros.

We've got ourselves a ball club, the Mets of New York town!

by kingcritical on Feb 2, 2007 8:09 PM EST reply actions

Well, consdierin the criteria...

I actually wouldn't be surprised to see Trax in the Top 50. He was awful this year, but he had 4 years of mostly above average work before that (and before his missed 2005 as well, of course). Granted, I wouldn't put him any higher than mid-forties, and all of those lsots have been taken, but really, a Steve Trachsel vs. Ron Hunt or Skip Lockwood argument is a fair one.

If he appears now, lower down on the list, though, that's crazy.

by jalsonmi on Feb 2, 2007 8:58 PM EST reply actions

trachsel or lima?

an "interesting" article on lima on espn.com today. he is the ace on his team in the carribean WS.

lima was a former 21-game winner with houston too!

suck on that Trax.

Pedro offers you his protection.

by pj on Feb 4, 2007 11:21 PM EST reply actions

Trax

Ruh roh.

by Eric Simon on Feb 5, 2007 12:08 AM EST reply actions

He can't...

I appreciate what Trax has done for the Mets over the last several years. I am not a Trax-basher.

HOWEVER... I don't think that when the history of the Mets is considered in toto, that Trax has contributed more than David Wright (number 40). The Wright rubicon has not been crossed by Trax.

by elliot on Feb 5, 2007 9:29 AM EST up reply actions

It. can't be. It's not possible.

Nooooooo!!!!!!!

Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful paralyzing perfect pachydermous percussion pitch.

by Mr. Met on Feb 5, 2007 7:11 PM EST up reply actions

Trachsel

Trachsel was arguably the Mets most consistent starter for a three and a half year period (second half of 2001 through 2004). He and Bobby Jones had very similiar careers. They both ate innings and won some games with mediocre stuff and peripherals for mostly bad teams (with 2000 and 2006 as obvious exceptions).

I expected Trachsel to land some where in the 40s just below Jones. Now that Jones has come and gone, I don't expect to see Trachsel. I think that Jones was a little better for a little longer.

by Shomov on Feb 6, 2007 8:36 AM EST reply actions