Or, Mets Are Shitty Healers. The injury bug is sweeping Mets camp like some kind of bug that sweeps across things, leaving those things in its sweepy wake, swept about arbitrarily in a manner that suggests bugs and such. With last night's news that Moises Alou will require hernia surgery and is expected to miss almost two months, the Mets' health care costs are going through the roof. You know, more than they already have.

The Mets won their fifth straight spring game on Wednesday, but right now they would gladly trade a few losses if they could just get all of their players off of the field without having to further crowd the trainer's room. If you're having trouble keeping track of all of the injuries, here is a list of everyone in Mets camp who isn't quite 100%.

• Moises Alou - Hernia. Surgery imminent. Out until May.
• Luis Castillo - Recovering from offseason knee surgery. Is running the bases and expects to play in games by next week.
• Carlos Beltran - Recovering from offseason surgery on both knees. Is only around 75%, but expects to be ready by opening day.
• Carlos Delgado - Hip impingement that sidelined him at the end of last season. He hit off of a tee on Wednesday and has been receiving cortisone and anti-inflammatories to control the pain. He expects to play within the week.
• Ryan Church - Concussion, and still a bit groggy. Even a minor concussion causes trauma to the brain, and there really isn't any such thing as a minor brain injury. Church will take it slow and hope to resume baseball activities within a few days.
• Endy Chavez - Hurt himself in winter ball, but has been running the bases and should return to action soon. The Mets will probably need him in left field when the season opens.
• Ruben Gotay - Sprained ankle, CT scan was negative. He hopes to be back next week, but that might be a smidge optimistic.
• Brian Schneider - Hamstring injury, should be back any day now.
• Orlando Hernandez - Lots of shit, old age. Is said to be tinkering with a new windup that promises to be less violent than his trademark knee raise. Threw in the bullpen on Wednesday, but no immediate timetable for his return is known.
• Duaner Sanchez - Hasn't pitched in a big league game in almost two years. Was delayed this spring with some right shoulder soreness, but he pitched in relief last week. He claims to be okay, but isn't on the schedule to pitch in any of this week's games. The Mets are said to be giving him plenty of rest, not willing to push things too far too fast.
• Damion Easley - Rehabbing torn ligaments in his left knee. Could return any day now.
• Marlon Anderson - Bruised sternum after collision with Ryan Church on Saturday. Should be back this weekend if not sooner.
• Michel Abreu - Suffered a right hip flexor on Tuesday. No news is bad news.

Discussion topic: Can anyone remember a rash of injuries like this? You expect a few bumps and bruises every spring, plus the odd guy recovering from offseason surgery, but I've never seen anything this bad.