F*** You, '08 Mets

Brilliant job, guys.

You have everyone fooled.  The announcers call your lineup a "sleeping juggernaut."  According to them, it's just a "matter of time" before you bust out and win the NL East crowd like you're supposed to.

We have fans who want to stay the course.  They'll quote lifetime numbers and say things will change.  They think you, Mr. Beltran, are performing to what we paid you for.  The occasional home run keeps the front office hoping that Mr. Delgado will turn this around.  Last year it was the hand injury.  This year, just a funk.

But, you don't have all of us fooled, 2008 New York Mets. Some of us see you for what you are:  a lifeless, aristocratic team, that thinks wins should be handed to you and why fight?

Why fight.  That's the 2008 team mantra.

Well, f*** you, Mets.  I'm one fan who is not going to waste any more time watching what you guys play "baseball" out on that field.  That's not baseball, it's a waste of my time.

F*** you, Jose Reyes, for getting picked off not once, but twice, against the lowly Rockies.  You may have cost us game #1 getting picked off of 2nd in extra innings.  You seem to have cost us game #3 by turning a double-play into an error which came around to score on the ensuing three-run homer.

F*** you, Luis Castillo.  You look like my grandma at the plate, not a veteran.  You hit into a double play every time there are two men on base.  Thanks for the contributions.

F*** you, Carlos Beltran.  We pay you superstar money and you give us "good" play.  You are great in centerfield, but you  barely hit your weight and you couldn't give us a clutch hit if your life depended on it.  And f*** you for getting doubled up on 3rda couple weeks back.  It's called being "alert" on the basepaths in your last shot to tie a game.  You look clueless.

F*** you, Carlos Delgado, for contributing sh***y defense and sh***y offense. Retire.

F*** you, David Wright, for having gone completely missing the last 3 weeks. (I still love you.)

F*** you, Endy Chavez, for not hitting a lick this year.

F*** you, Aaron Heilman, for being a setup man for the other team.

F*** you, Oliver Perez, for making it a sport to walk as many people as possible.  Often, in a row.  Let's go for 6 in a row next time!

F*** you, Willie, for letting the team sleepwalk through game after game after game.

F*** you, HoJo, for having the title "hitting instructor" and letting Ryan Church be our best hitter!  YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED A MONTH AGO.

And finally, f*** you, Omar Minaya, for letting this happen.  How long will it take before you realize that this club needs a breakup?