Fix The Mets' Bullpen FanPost Swag Contest

Since the Mets' bullpen is in shambles and we haven't had a random swag contest in a while, and since participation in the FanPosts here isn't what it could be given the generally intelligent discourse that goes on in the comments of regular threads, let's combine all of that crap together and have a good old-fashioned FanPost swag contest!

The gist of the contest is this: Imagine a world where the Mets' bullpen is terrible. Just god awful. Can you picture it? Now, in this less-than-perfect world, you are the general manager of said Mets and you look just like Jeff Goldblum. With the power to make roster decisions granted you by the office of general manager and the everyday awesomeness and uber machismo that comes with looking like Jeff Goldblum, you are tasked with repairing the Mets' bullpen. For the sake of the contest, let's assume you can make trades without consideration for waiver claims.

That's it. Pretend the Mets' bullpen is craptacular and then fix it. Write up your thesis in a FanPost and the best one as judged by me will win some sweet swag. The more entries we get, the better the swag. In the interest of fairness, if you've already won a monthly swag contest then you won't be eligible to win any super swag, but maybe I can send you a book or something. I'd like to see some new faces in there, so if you've been reluctant to sign up for an account here and you fancy yourself a decent (or creative) writer, get yourself a username and fire up that old copy of WordPerfect.

Entries are due by the end of day Friday. Spelling, grammar, punctuation and cogency *do* count.