Tuesday Applesauce

by Eric Simon on Sep 16, 2008 1:06 PM EDT in Applesauce Comment 10 comments

Rawr! Cat fight between Pedro Martinez and Jorge Posada! Jorge says Pedro has no class. Pedro says Jorge spoke shabbily of his (Pedro's) mom. Caliente!

The only thing interesting about this nothing piece about John Maine becoming a closer is that he's already picked out his entrance theme: "Posse On Broadway" by Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Bobby Parnell could be a factor in the final two weeks of the season, which is really just a nice way of saying he hasn't screwed the pooch yet.

Aaron Heilman, who has screwed said pooch countless times this season, just wants to help. I still count myself among Heilman's supporters, though this season isn't one he wants on his resume.

At Beyond the Boxscore, R.J. Anderson breaks down the NL Cy Young race using a just-for-fun Bill James formula for predicting that award's recipient. Santana comes in tied for fourth, though it should really be third because Anderson included C.C. Sabathia's AL stats in his calculations (their consideration is irrelevant with respect to an NL award).

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if that pooch screwer Heilman wants to help...

he should sit in the stands with a tiny mirror.

I.M. Forme

by itsmetsforme on Sep 16, 2008 1:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Why would that help?

Given his performance this year, he’d only use it to direct blinding lights into his teammates’ eyes.

by madisonmetsfan on Sep 16, 2008 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

ah you got me

i guess he is useless

I.M. Forme

by itsmetsforme on Sep 16, 2008 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Put 'Em on the Bullpen Plexiglas!

Who knew John Maine was such a connoisseur of old-school jams? That is pre-Baby-Got-Back Mix-a-Lot right there.

Now the posse’s gettin’ hungry, and Mix-a-Lot’s treatin’
We stopped at Taco Bell, for some Mexican eatin’

Imagine lyrics like that, with beats that make “Our Team, Our Time” sound like a Rick Rubin production by comparison.

Forget saves; forget VORP: John Maine should be closer for this reason alone.

I did it like this / I did it like that / I did it with a Wiffle Ball bat

by Doc Manhattan on Sep 16, 2008 3:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm sick of this.

Let me clear up 2 myths.

1) Johan is as good as anyone in the game. As he’s gained experience, he’s learned to get thru games with out massive K totals. It’s fine. He’s fine. We need him healthy for the whole contract, which would be incredibly rare.

Johan is one of the best in the game and he’s ours.

2) Heilman is not a good baseball player.

Put an end to the discussions about how he should be used. He sucks as a starter. He sucks in the 8th inning. He sucks in 5th. Heilman is garbage.

Why this tribe of people support (albeit, a much smaller tribe now than in the past) boggles my mind. He looks like a wuss. It’s not like he has some heart warming story about persevering to get to the bigs. I think he went to Notre Dame. Heilman didn’t grow up on hot dogs, ok?

He sucks. I’ve been saying this for years. He has one pitch, and it’s garbage.

by Omar21 on Sep 16, 2008 5:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Heilman

Do you think Heilman would be more effective if he stopped at Taco Bell for some Mexican eatin’?

by ams258 on Sep 16, 2008 5:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wha?

Was anyone saying Johan isn’t one of the best? I’m pretty sure we all love that guy!

I think a lot of people (myself included) have supported Heils as long as we have because the guy has talent and he has been effective in the past and, frankly, I think there were some expectations that he would be a decent major league pitcher when he got drafted and came up. Hell, I’ve held out on him this long because I always want to see our home-grown guys do well. He’s probably not going to make it in NY and he almost certainly won’t make any more appearances this year. I’d say trade him in the winter, but for what? Who’s gonna take him after the year he’s had? Let’s just hope Omar and co. can figure out the best way to deal him or deal with him during the offseason.

Man, you sound bitter about Heils tho. “[Grew] up on hot dogs”? What does that even mean?!

'Catsmeat!' he cried. 'I see it all. It was that chump, Catsmeat.'

by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Sep 16, 2008 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

In my day we called them liberty sausages

by Simons on Sep 16, 2008 11:22 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Omar 21, I don't like HEILMAN either. Below is my opinion.

S = Sucks
G = Go Away, Not good enough to stay next year

(S / G) HEILMAN – ANOTHER RENDITION OF ARMANDO BENITEZ
(S / G) SANCHEZ – WASH YOUR DAMNED BALL CAP
(S / G) SCHOWENWEIS
(G) HERNANDEZ – ORLANDO TYPE
(G) MARTINEZ – SORRY PEDRO, YOU JUST DON’T HAVE IT ANYMORE
(G) ANDERSON – MARLON BRANDO YOU AIN’T
(G) CASTILLO

Perhaps contractually, the METS can’t do shit about some of these players next year.

Also, I expect someone to throw a bunch of stats in my face to try and prove one of these players worth. Well, the past is the past and that’s all it is. These sons of bitches are washed up and I don’t need stats to tell me they suck.

Keep on keepin on man.

Go Metzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

by LOUtheMETandNATSfan on Sep 16, 2008 6:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Heilman

I’m not sure I’d call myself a member of a “tribe of support” but I’ve stood behind Heilman, to a point, because:

A) He’s a homegrown Mets draft pick and it’s nice to see those guys succeed, and
B) He’s been effective out of the bullpen from 2005 to 2007, and if he’s done so with one pitch, so be it. Mariano Rivera is one of the best closers of all time and he’s done it with one pitch too.

I don’t think anyone has contradicted your assertion about Santana for a number of months now.

by JoshNY on Sep 16, 2008 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs