Poem: There's Only One October Wish
by Howard Megdal on Oct 27, 2009 11:35 AM EDT
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PrintThere's Only One October Wish
So now it is here, the Series we dreaded
Our season long gone, our hopes and dreams shredded
And we have a Choice more Susan Smith than Sophie
Just who is our preference for this Fall Classic trophy?
Some say "Let's Go Yankees!"; the words make me choke
I'd sooner root on those who made Wall Street broke
Still others see Philly as where we'd best fit in
Which makes sense, but only if you'd punch a kitten
So what's left to hope for? An injury or two,
Or an H1N1 outbreak from Bull's BBQ
But I hope for neither, I want both teams back again
So the healed Mets can beat them in 2010
My Fall dream is simple, my fantasy ode
Starts and ends with the winning team clinching on the road
So home fans, be they Yankee or Phillie
Shed their tears as they head into weather so chilly
Let me see fans torn apart from falling short of their goal,
Phillies fans oh-so portly, Yankees fans sans a soul
Others may wish for some A-Rod clutch-hitting horror
Or comeuppance for Victorino, that baserunning schnorrer
My October wish isn't nearly so wild
Just give me a close-up of one crying child
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Excellent
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Oct 27, 2009 12:11 PM EDT reply actions
agreed
I don’t want to see one crying child. I want to see many. I hope they cut away to a Philly Day Care center and it’s full of crying kids in Victorino jerseys.
"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09
Er, stupid phone
What I meant to say is that, while making a child cry is bad, if their favorite team losing the World Series is the worst thing to ever happen to them as children, they should consider themselves lucky. Maybe that’ll teach them empathy for Mets fans.
by mnbv on Oct 27, 2009 4:49 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
do we really want empathy
think about the teams we have empathy for…. the nats, the royals, the pirates, etc… you really want to be among their numbers? No thanks. I’d prefer their hatred, at least it means we’re relevant.
by KeithsMoustache on Oct 27, 2009 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Do you think the people longing for natural disasters to hit
really, truly want to see an earthquake up in the Bronx? (I don’t think they do.)
It’s all in fun. If we can’t hate, what are we left with?
Well
I do want an earthquake to hit the Bronx, but only at the Yankee Stadiums, destroying them, and with nobody getting anywhere near so no one gets hurt, except maybe Victorino and Jeter, they can get hurt and I’d be okay.
"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."
I didn't say you can't hate the team or even the fans.
I am politely asking all of you to leave small children out of it.
I’ve seen enough of that in my life, and while I realize the rhyme fits the poem, I find it disturbing.
I lobby for Keithsmoustache’s solution further down.
one of my favorite shea stadium moments
mets vs. yanks, 2005. the jumbotron is doing its kissing cam thing. the camera pans over to a baby decked in yankees gear. the entire crowd boos. heartily.
Oh yeah, that was pretty hilarious.
I seem to recall a pretty hearty brawl starting in the picnic area shortly after that baby got booed. Quite a moment for me as well.
IIRC, wasn’t that the “Mr. Koo’s Wild Ride” game?
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Oct 28, 2009 1:04 AM EDT up reply actions
yes, that was Mr. Koo's shining moment
and also remember some serious fights breaking out at that game. the orange jackets were pretty busy that day.
Helluvan ending.
Very nice, Howard.
Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the street: wheredotheygo?!?!?
The child seems a bit harsh.
Maybe a crying obese, middle-aged loudmouth with his face painted in the teams colors and wearing a Victorino/Jeter jersey would be better (or maybe a crying Jayson Stark or Michael Kay).
haha i think this is a more entertaining image
i vote for this ending
by KeithsMoustache on Oct 27, 2009 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions
I got one - no, make that TEN!
MY VERY OWN TOP 10 LIST
My top 10 list (a la David Letterman):
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
10. At least 4 of the games get postponed due to rain
- Hell, if it were up to me, I’d prolong this thing to December, just to make both Yankee fans and Phillie fans suffer! And, of course, so that TV ratings for them two suffer.
9. The Phillie Phanatic shows up in Yankee Stadium to a roar of boos
- Just for personal enjoyment
8. The sight of 8 (hence the number) obese Phillies fans crying and hugging each other when their efforts to spell out P-H-I-L-L-I-E-S shirtless to rally them on to win, fails
- The potential for ridiculousness is, well, ridiculous. Seriously, I rather have this than kids crying – wishing for kids to cry? That’s just evil.
7. The TV announcers say stuff during these games that are mindblowingly stupid
- Now that might just be the most enjoyable part of this debacle! “Something to keep in mind — it’s raining lightly. The infield could be very wet on ground balls.” Oh, no shit! Are you f’real!?
6. A benches-clearing brawl between the two teams and Bud Selig hands down suspensions/fines
- I mean, hell, if the enemy of your enemy is your friend… oh wait.
5. Technical problems with the broadcast causes a series-changing play or game winning moment to get blacked out.
- What are the odds? Like 1:1,000,000? I would like this akin to if the shot heard ’round the world was blacked out. Now that would be something.
4. A-Rod gets suspended the whole series for doing something incredibly stupid
- As long as nobody gets seriously hurt, A-Rod deserves this. But, this is more a fantasy than anything.
3. Someone on the Yankees, other than Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Mark Teixeira, Robinson Cano, Johnny Damon, CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Joba Chamberlain or Mariano Rivera wins the World Series MVP.
- Brett Gardner for MVP! I like Matsui a close second.
2. Jimmy Rollins and Jayson Werth give up game-winning errors, critically destroying the Phillies’ chances of winning the World Series
- Oh, what fun! It’s Deja Vu all over again, when Bill Buckner repeats itself!
1. Yankees sweep the Phillies in the World Series in Philadelphia, leading to yet another baseball strike
- This way, the Yankess get hit with SALARY CAP! And so the Phillies fans get served at home. And an anticlimatic series lowers TV ratings to all-time lows. Kill two birds with one stone – why not?
"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."
- Mr. B.V. Incognito
by sj10689 on Oct 27, 2009 7:48 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Like all of these except 4.
And I’ll give it back if you replace it with any of the Phillies stars or Derek Jeter.
"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw
Number 4, Phillies version
4. Jimmy Rollins gets suspended the whole series for doing something incredibly stupid
- As long as nobody gets seriously hurt, A-Rod deserves this. But, this is more a fantasy than anything.
"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."
- Mr. B.V. Incognito
much better
"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09
Bravo
I enjoyed the edgy/controversial final line. I shed a tear post Kenny Rogers in 1999 so the kid can get over it.
by James Kannengieser on Oct 27, 2009 10:03 PM EDT reply actions
And look how well adjusted we all turned out to be!
/snarky snark snark
"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw
I bawled like a little baby after Beltran struck out
and I was 22. You don’t even wanna know what I was like in ’99 and 2000. Screw the kids
"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09
Amen, James K.
The crying children will get over it someday. Winning only breeds unrealistic expectations. Welcome to Dick Cheney’s America, bitches.
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Oct 28, 2009 1:06 AM EDT up reply actions
Two different scenarios
I.
I never cried as a kid when my team lost or when that team lost a championship. I might be a little out of touch with consensus here.
Here’s one situation where that is understandable to me, though – Daddy places a bet on the Yankees in 2004. Yankees are up 3 games to 0 in the ALCS. Mariano blows it. Team falls apart. Red Sox take the ALCS and the World Series. Loss of bet from daddy’s compulsive gambling leads to losing their home and mommy divorcing daddy. A because the Yankees blew a 3 game lead (commence violin music, in C minor!)
I think I went a little too far. But you get my point, I assume.
II.
By the way, number 8 on my top 10 list above is the comedic antithesis of the child crying skit – still crying involved, but it’s not so depressing. Them bozos will spend the night at the pub and drink their sadness down while loading up on greasy fatty king-sized Philly Cheese steaks. See? Everyone got their wish towards the end here! And they all lived happily ever after…
"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."
- Mr. B.V. Incognito
Lemme rephrase (literally)
Just give me a close-up of one crying child
“Ahh, good good! The lil’ kiddie wearing Phillies pajamas is crying. (Sigh of pleasure follows) Made my day, that did! I’ll celebrate with a pizza. I don’t feel so bad being a Mets fan anymore. Should I go out and poke fun at the kid? Hmm… that’s a tough one.”
It’s not that I’m opposed to kids crying (the lessons of life are cruel sometimes), but that last line was sadistic. My interpretation was the pleasure reaped from a depressed innocent child. To me, this is not really a big deal, but I tend to read things at face value, except for sarcasm or satire. That’s my 2 cents.
I agree that every kid must face disappointment, even if it results in crying. Kids today are spoiled anyway, nowadays! I hate it (abhor it, more like!) when parents give in to their kids’ incessant blathering because of their spoiled rottenness. I see it in Wal-mart all the damn time, and it makes me sick!
Hopefully, my rationale here is clear.
"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."
- Mr. B.V. Incognito
it's ok for kids to experience disappointment. it's not ok to revel in said moment shown on national TV.
that was my point.
You're not mean enough
"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."
Get meaner
Knock someone down on the street next time you’re walking, cut off other drivers just to piss them off, steal candy from a baby for Christ sakes!
"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."
should be in D-minor... its the saddest key really
by KeithsMoustache on Oct 28, 2009 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
New "Comfortably Numb" lyrics for the Mets:
The Ollie verse:
" Hello, hello, hello….is there anybody in there
throw strikes if you can hear me…
is there anyone at home "
The Jose verse:
" Jose, Jose, Jose……just a little pin prick
there’ll be no more “waaaaaaa-aaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaa”
every time you try to steal. Can you stand up ?
I do believe it’s working……good.
that will keep you going for the show
come on it’s time to run "
Somebody add a verse for Wright, Johan, etc.
Maybe we can all go on tour.
It's
a kind of of a combination of Mozart and Bach…kind of a “Mach” piece…
Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the street: wheredotheygo?!?!?
That song is beautiful whats it called?
I call it “Lick my love pump”
by KeithsMoustache on Oct 31, 2009 4:03 PM EDT up reply actions
+1
very well done
"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage
by blueandorange4life on Oct 28, 2009 1:40 AM EDT reply actions
This is amazing.
And lighten up on the crying child line. No one here really hates children. It’s not like he wants to see children cry because their dogs died or something. I’m pretty sure most 8 year olds will get over their team losing in the World Series. One day at a time.
I did
I was 8 in 1973
Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the street: wheredotheygo?!?!?
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