Note this is NOT an entry into the AAOP contest. This is just how i envision the actual though process going behind closed doors for the Mets.
We already have a long term contract in place that we can use to fill left field. We have the guy locked up at a reasonable 1.25 million per year, and the best part? We have him for 25 years. That’s right, I’m talking about Bobby Bonilla. Lets make him earn those paychecks. Bobby seems to post good seasons every OTHER time the Mets sign him (the first was good, the second was awful, the pattern clearly indicates the third will be good again, which is why we should lock him up as long as possible. ) We can’t miss on this one.
Jeff Francoeur! This guy is grittiness incarnate, and has a laser rocket arm. His OBP may be awful, but its not even on the scoreboard so who cares? He also leads the league in endorsement-earned Delta frequent flier miles which helps offset the cost of the 5 year/50 million dollar contract we should clearly offer this young, talented player to lock him in now!
2b + C:
Carlos Beltran is clearly slowing down with his bad knees (I hear rumors his kneecaps were actually stolen and the Mets are trying to force him to play without them). He also can’t hit curveballs and sucks in the playoffs. As such we need to trade high on him. Beltran was only worth 2.9 WAR last year, so I feel we can replace him in a trade for around 2.9 WAR worth of other players. As such I think David Eckstein and Nick Hundley from the Pads would get the job done. Our Grission factor would skyrocket with Eck, who’s clearly the grittiest player to ever have grit. Furthermore we would be able to relive the glory days of Todd Hundley through Nick, and thus all the Brooke Hundley jokes that come along with it. Again it’s a win/win situation for us.
With Eck in the mix, there is no longer any need for Castillo. As such I propse we trade him and cash for Milton Bradley. If we can prevent our coaching staff from leg sweeping Bradley onto the DL at first base (Always a big IF as Bradley has proven in the past), and keep him away from sharp objects, he could be placed in center field to fill in for Beltran.
Jose Reyes is in place for a while, no working around that even though he’s an injury prone slacker who hates baseball and has no grittiness. At the first sign of him high fiving too hard, we’ll bench him for the clearly better replacement, Alex Cora. Now hear me out here… Cora put up slightly below average numbers with two bad thumbs, if you use a scaling factor for number of good thumbs vs performance you can scale all of his stats by a factor of (2/0) for next year. I don’t know what this number is but it’s so good my calculator seems to think I’ve made some sort of error. But I assure you the Cora factor is real, and we should pay close attention to this guy. Scott Boras will clearly see this and play hardball this offseason but we can lock him up for 3 years/5 million per year and not worry about shortstops who don’t get dirty enough.
Lets not fool ourselves, David Wright is in the decline and his career is nearly over. He only posted 10 HRs this year, and sources tell me that’s fewer than Daniel Murphy. We need to get rid of Wright while he still commands high market value. Theres one team that I’m pretty sure will take him on, and that’s Toronto. I think you all know where I’m going with this trade proposal…I think we send Wright packing along with a few prospects for Vernon Wells. He’s got all the pop we need (his 15 homers last year is almost 50 percent higher than the best Met last year), and since he’s gotten slow in his old age, we can just stick him at first base where you can hide any defensive liability.
This previous move clearly leaves a hole at 3rd base that would be tough to fill. There is only one man for the job. Pedro Feliz. He’s a Philly so he cares about baseball more than the Mets do, plus he has Champtionship experience. He also put up more HRs than Wright did last year, so he’s clearly the more valuable third baseman. This one is a no brainer.
Here I would add two names to the rotation. The first is Rick Ankeil. Wild Thing Ankeil was a beast in his 2000 campaign, so he clearly has the potential to be a top notch starter. His proficiency with the bat turns him into a pitcher/DH combo, which is a huge advantage in the NL where we’re usually just stuck watching pitchers bunt over baserunners and other boring "strategically advantageous moves". I’m sure the surprise alone of facing Ankeil would be good for at least a few wins against NL teams. This could be the surprise move of the offseason, just think, people would talk about this daring call for years to come.
The other addition I would make is Kris Benson. Mostly just because he would bring his wife along, I suppose he knows how to pitch too, but its hardly his greatest asset.
This leaves us with these starting position players
Bonilla, Francoeur, Bradley, Eckstein, Cora, Wells, Feliz, Hundley
Our pitching rotation will go as follows
Santana, Pelfrey, Ankeil, Benson, Perez
So what do you think guys? I think this plan has potential written all over it, ya know what I’m sayin?