Amazin' Avenue Caption Contest: Carlos Beltran, Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez, and Marc Anthony?
by Eric Simon on Nov 23, 2009 2:22 PM EST
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PrintCaption the picture above. No cursing, please (if you can say it on network teevee, you can say it here). The best caption (as chosen by us) will win a copy of the Bill James Handbook 2010, courtesy of ACTA Sports. You can read our review of the BJH here. Contest ends at high noon tomorrow (11/24).
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Johan Santana looks un uncomfortably as Carlos Beltran, Pedro Martinez and Marc Anthony exchange "bat sizes".
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Nov 23, 2009 2:27 PM EST reply actions
This exchange:
MARC: “So, my wife’s butt is THIS wide…”
Beltran: “So’s my mole…”
Pedro: “Johan, my man, you ROCKIN’ that black, shiny stuff…”
Johan: “Hey! Is that Lackey over there?”
Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the street: wheredotheygo?!?!?
Here is mine:
Marc: So how do you guys like me being part owner of the Dolphins ?
Beltran: You should have been part owner of the Mets.
Pedro: You should buy me. I grew up under a mango tree, and I’m worth $6 million.
Johan Who is the little skinny guy with the white suit ?.
Here we go
Guest judge Pedro Martinez (rear left) greets contestants Carlos Beltran (left front), Johan Santana (right rear), and Marc Anthony (right front) in “whose suit reflects the most light” contest.
"All energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet
What a fool I was to defy him"
-HST
by Mark Himmelstein on Nov 23, 2009 3:01 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Mine (does suck count as a curse?)
Marc: “Hey Carlos, me and my wife love you, you’re our favorite player!”
Beltran: “Thanks man. I honestly think all your songs are terrible and that you have absolutely no talent in any capacity, but your wife has some nice assets.”
Anthony: “Um, thanks”
Beltran: “No dude, I mean you really, really suck. Like almost as bad as Johan’s speeches.”
Santana: “HEY, I’M A MAN, YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!”
Martinez: "Johan, I have to be honest. When I first saw you in person, I literally thought to myself “Jesus, that is the ugliest lesbian I’ve ever seen”
Past and present Mets meet with the teams new left fielder
He may not be good at baseball, but he’s got so much grission he needs shades and he high fives himself!
by KeithsMoustache on Nov 23, 2009 3:03 PM EST reply actions
Ummm...
Johan: “Please my friends let me introduce to you Yerry Seinfeld, famous Mets fan”
Beltran thought bubble: {I love his show but boy is he shorter than I thought}
Pedro thought bubble: {No way is that Seinfeld. This guy is an impostor who has hoodwinked Johan into giving him a free ticket. He will feel the wrath of Pedro. I will be his daddy}
This stinks, but whatever
Marc Anthony attempts to explain to his friends that all of their “extra appendages” combined are this big.
Beer is good! And stuff!
Let's see
Pedro:…so I says to the guy, jabroni!
Carlos: Ahahahaha
Marc: Ahahahahaha (claps in appreciation)
Johan: Oh great, the jabroni joke again.
Mark Anthony: “after I told him I’m actually a singer, I don’t play baseball, Omar upped his offer to 3 years, $36 million”
Beltran & Pedro: “hahaha classic Omar”
Johan thought bubble: “I wish I had just re-signed with the Twins”
"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09
Here goes...
Carlos: What’s up, Marc?
Marc Anthony: Not much. I just want to release meaningful albums in September. How about you?
Carlos: Just enjoying a laugh about Steve Phillips. You see the woman he got caught with?
Marc Anthony: Yeah, we’re thinking of trying here out as a fullback with the Dolphins.
Carlos: And he says I’m not a flawless player.
Johan: Should I tell Carlos there's a bug on his ear?
"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw
H
Johan Santana looks on as Marc Anthony and Carlos Beltran discuss the break on Adam Wainwrights curve ball from the 2006 NLCS.
Marc Anthony is such a prankster
Pedro Martinez (rear left), Carlos Beltran (left front), Johan Santana (right rear), enjoy a moment of levity while Marc Anthony (right front) tells them that the skin rejuvenation cream he sold Sammy Sosa, was actually plain skin bleach.
by Coolpapabell on Nov 23, 2009 5:11 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I was gonna offer an entry
But I’m gonna wait until I can think of something better than this.
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Nov 23, 2009 5:34 PM EST up reply actions
Here goes
Marc Anthony: Man you guys had so many injuries and sucky players I could’ve played for you
Carlos Beltran: Would you have better defense than Castillo?
Pedro Martinez: Groundballs and popups are Luis’ daddy.
Johan Santana: I feel bad for Pelfrey. That’s why I’m a flyball pitcher.
"We're investigating the investigative procedure of the investigation of Tony Bernazard"---Omar Minaya (he really didn't say it but he would"
Marc Anthony: hey dudes, i just bought a piece of the miami dolphins...
… so who wants to play for them? i need to know if you want to play on the dolphins. i need to know, i need to know, tell me baby girl because i need to know. HAHAHA, get it? like from my song!
beltran: ha ha ha – oh man that is so funny even my mole is laughing!
pedro: haha, yeah, i mean, i signed with the phillies so i’ll literally do ANYTHING for money. LITERALLY ANYTHING.
johan: god i hate you guys.
Lets hope that when gut check time comes again the Mets will pass it with flying colors.
by kendynamo on Nov 23, 2009 5:39 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Oh, wait, I like this one better.
damn Kendy Namo raising the bar . . .
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Nov 23, 2009 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
Pedro and Johan: “Yeah, we got the money, you got the blow, right?”
Beltran and Marc Anthony erupt into a chorus of evil laughter. Pedro and Johan try to force a laugh—as if they understand what Beltran and Marc Anthony are laughing about—though they’re clearly nervous and very fearful.
http://www.capitolavenueclub.com/
Beltran: Johan has switched sides.
Marc: Sorry…My mole-stake
Beltran: What was that? Just get it out of your system.
Marc: No, I’m fine
Beltran: I insist, we’ll work together better if you…
Marc: MOLE! BLOODY MOLE! We’re not supposed to talk about the mole but there’s a bloody mole winking me in the face! I’m gonna chop it off, cut it up, and make some guac-a mooolee!
Beltran: Better?
Marc: Yeah…(pulls out stick and proceeds to poke the mole)
"We're just as bad as the old Mets, but this time nobody's laughing"
-Dallas Green
by Stephen Schmidt on Nov 23, 2009 6:06 PM EST reply actions
I used up my creativity in the AAOP
"We're just as bad as the old Mets, but this time nobody's laughing"
-Dallas Green
by Stephen Schmidt on Nov 23, 2009 8:01 PM EST up reply actions
ha ha
i was going to spoof AAOP and make an AARP post, but I didn’t want to insult those who actually put the time in.
That would have been pretty good actually
"We're just as bad as the old Mets, but this time nobody's laughing"
-Dallas Green
by Stephen Schmidt on Nov 23, 2009 8:50 PM EST up reply actions
Johan Santana gradually finds Carlos Beltran’s impression of Rick James less and less amusing.
by FlashFlood on Nov 23, 2009 6:30 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Johan Santana: while other celebrities turn to the clapper, he can turn the lights off just by looking at them.
Gas prices today are a lot like a pitcher's ERA. Anything under 3 is amazing, under 4 is pretty good and anything 5 and up is something you want to avoid.
Johan: Carlos, that mole is so big! It is adding extra weight and so hurting your legs.
Anthony and Pedro: Hahaha
Beltran: At least I am not wearing that suit… You are losing respect among men everywhere shining like that.
Anthony: Yeah man where’d you get that, Ricky Martin? Hahahaha thinks himself awesome
I took this picture...
What Anthony actually said was..
“I saw Mike Piazza in the showers once..it was this long!”
by scott from peekskill on Nov 23, 2009 10:00 PM EST reply actions
They said
They are joking about the fact that Santana thought the newspaper picture of Steve Phillips he had his arm around a guy…“WTF!!!! That’s a woman?!?!?!”
by scott from peekskill on Nov 23, 2009 10:03 PM EST reply actions
r-rated-ish submission (sorry couldnt resist)
Marc Anthony: yeah so its totally like THIS big!
Beltran: sure, both you and jennifer lopez WISH!
Pedro: you know in the Dominican Republican, we have a whole different kind of cock fighting
johan: oh my god i hate you guys.
Lets hope that when gut check time comes again the Mets will pass it with flying colors.
i just now relized multiple entries is in most cases not allowed
so if so please ignore this. or just ignore it anyway, its pretty silly.
Lets hope that when gut check time comes again the Mets will pass it with flying colors.
I enjoyed that both of your entries
ended with Johan saying the same thing.
PS More Entourage scripts please.
the number one issue facing the Mets is finding that one guy who’s going to say "get on my shoulders and ride me to the championship."
While vacationing in Las Vegas...
…three of a kind Met stars Beltran, Martinez, and Santana go “all in” against former WSOP champ Johnny Chan.
lady suit
Beltran: Johan…are you wearing lady clothes?
Johan: No. This is a power suit.
Beltran: That there is a woman’s suit.
Marc Antony: Who makes it?
Johan: MISSterious. And it is mysterious because the buttons are on the wrong side, that’s the mystery.
Pedro: Look, it has shoulderpads…
Johan: It’s European, OK? It’s a European cut.
Pedro: Johan, the pants don’t have any pockets.
Johan: No, they don’t. Italians don’t wear pockets.
by Rob Castellano on Nov 23, 2009 10:08 PM EST reply actions
Paul
Carlos: Franks and beeeeeens!
Marc: Yaaaaaay! (While clapping)
Johan: (under his breath) um yeah…get me outta here, Pedro.
Pedro: (Through his teeth) Just keep smiling….while backing away slowly. Maybe they won’t notice we’re gone.
In response to deafening silences...
…by the home crowd at every 2009 game, the Mets produce an instructional video for fans demonstrating what to do when they play the “Everybody clap your hands” song at Citi Field.
Good One!!
MARC: …so then he says, “Hey, this doesn’t taste like lemonade!”
JOHAN: Umm… guys, I’m standing right here. That is sooo not cool.
by Metropolitans2k on Nov 24, 2009 11:58 AM EST reply actions
joke
Anthony: So what extinct dinosaur had 50 arms and 50 legs and yet could not walk?
Beltran & Johan: What?
Anthony: the New York Mets-Asaurus! Ahahahaha
Pedro: Ha, my midget told me that one yesterday.
I don't know if this is within the contest rules
But it is awesome, so I don’t care.
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Nov 24, 2009 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
haha yeah, perhaps violating a few (all) of the contest rules
but its pretty entertaining nonetheless.
Discus Stu has ouzo for two-zo….
by KeithsMoustache on Nov 24, 2009 2:01 PM EST up reply actions
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