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Around SBN: The Animated GIFs Of January

The Race To "In The Best Shape Of His Life"

One of the great clichés of spring training is the declaration that Player X is "in the best shape of his life." Usually a sportswriter conveys the message but it's not uncommon for the player to deliver it himself. We're far away from pitchers and catchers but this hot stove season is exasperating. A poll to determine who people think will be the first Met declared "in the best shape of his life" (or some variant) is more attractive to me right now then fretting over a rumor by some random dude who Tweeted that the Mets want to sign Johnny Damon. Here are some candidates, followed by the poll. Feel free to add other suggestions/justifications:

Star-divide

Oliver Perez - He has to be the favorite in this race. After about as disastrous a 2009 as possible, and reports that he let himself go during the World Baseball Classic, Ollie is spending the offseason in Arizona at the Athletes Performance Institute. For $12 million a year, he better be in the best shape of this life by March 2010 if he has any pride in what he does.

Francisco Rodriguez - I have no way of confirming this, but it appeared that Frankie put on a few pounds this past season, at least compared to his Angels days. More importantly, and verifiably, his peripherals slipped across the board. Strange, factoring his switch from the tougher AL to the NL. His velocity didn't slip though, and in fact slightly increased from 2008. A fit Frankie would be pumped up and ready to earn that vesting option from hell.

Daniel Murphy - Discussion of Murphy's work ethic became banal awhile ago. He would contend for this crown in any year, if only because people seem to love writing about his killer drive for success. He also has something to prove next season, especially if the Mets don't sign a free agent first baseman.

Jose Reyes - Jose might be this year's version of Luis Castillo. He suffered an injury and seemed to draw the ire of the fans, for various reasons. A report of Jose being in the best shape of his life might be disconcerting - it implies that he trained like an animal. I'd rather hear reports that he was cautious and didn't train too hard or too early. He has million dollar legs and they need to be taken care of. However, given his intensity and love for the game it wouldn't be surprising to see him first to earn the "best shape" moniker.

Jeff Francoeur - Just because.

Dark Horse: Nick Evans - Nasty Nick couldn't do anything to grab Jerry Manuel's attention in late 2009 so he needs to make a splash this spring. His plan should be to become so ripped that no one, not even Professor Jerry, will be able to ignore his flawlessly toned pectorals, biceps and quads. Piazza-esque batting practice displays in Port St. Lucie will follow. Free weights and 50 Gram Slams are on the path to glory for young Nick.

Poll
Who will be first to be declared "in the best shape of his life"?
Oliver Perez
338 votes
Francisco Rodriguez
25 votes
Daniel Murphy
24 votes
Jose Reyes
99 votes
Jeff Francoeur
39 votes
Nick Evans
13 votes
Other
13 votes

551 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 87 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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There is no way Ollie does not win this title. Training at API in AZ, after a horrible injury plagued year he better be in TBSOHL. I say we hear it by mid-January if not sooner.

I believe Francoeur made that declaration after he bulked up prior to 2008. I doubt he goes there again so soon.

by whynot on Dec 2, 2009 3:05 PM EST reply actions  

I went Francoeur

Media loves him, he’s determined to prove he’s the 2006/2009-with-Mets Francoeur and not the 2009-with-Braves Francouer.

As for the others:
Ollie: Too obvious. Wanted to shake things up a bit. I’m crazy like that.

Frankie: Too good (according to MSM standards). They still think he’s good and only write these about bad players.

Murphy: My second choice. Questions about his power, I can see a story about how he’s bulked up.

Reyes: Too Latino. He hates baseball too much to get into good shape.

Evans: Sadly, too irrelevant.

by Bieser's Balk on Dec 2, 2009 4:37 PM EST reply actions  

The problem with Evans is that he had a great spring this past year

and the Mets went out and got Sheffield in early April. Evans needs to basically hit 1.000 this spring in order to get some attention.

If there's ever a riot at Citi Field and Oliver Perez was the starter, I started the riot.

by meigs1414 on Dec 2, 2009 4:56 PM EST reply actions  

I could picture this scenario:

last spring training game, Evans is batting 1.000, and is 3-3 going into his last at-bat, hits a drive over the wall, but the opposing outfielder reaches over to pull it back, dropping his batting average to .991. Omar quickly calls up the Royals and says “are you guys still looking to dump Jose Guillen, I need him for left field cause this Evans kid sucks.”

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 2, 2009 7:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Perez, I guess, but reluctantly.

An ITBSOHL candidate should be older than this group, and ideally a marginal veteran coming off a so-so (or worse) season who’s desperate to hang on to his job. See Easley, Damion circa 2008-09.

by madisonmetsfan on Dec 2, 2009 5:18 PM EST reply actions  

Cora?

If they bring him back, Delgado is a prime candidate

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 2, 2009 7:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Cora would be a good choice, but

I think his contract is guaranteed, which kind of removes the motivation.

Not that Cora isn’t motivated-he’s mediocre, but he’s a pro-it’s just that he lacks the whiff of desperation that a true ITBSOHL must have.

by madisonmetsfan on Dec 3, 2009 9:04 AM EST up reply actions  

I dunno

but I just got done listening to Francesa and some other knuckleheaded knuckleshit assert that Tiger’s trangressions make Jeter EVEN GREATER. Last hero standing… for those poor fucks.

by Pack Bringley on Dec 2, 2009 5:22 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

Lolwut

I feel like Jeter’s been reported to have cheated on girlfriends before, and wasn’t there a rumor he gave Jessica Alba herpes at one point?

by Gina on Dec 2, 2009 5:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Spit take!

Jeter gave Jessica Alba what?!! As my eyes glanced over the words “he gave Jessica Alba_______” I was expecting to see a wedding ring, a baby, a hard time, a dog, or a denim jacket with his likeness painted on the back.

Yes, I did litteraly spit out my water.

Yes Jeter is human and can be a d-bag like any other famous athlete, but how does A-rod get slammed for his bs and Jeter doesn’t. Yes it was rhetorical.

by Coolpapabell on Dec 2, 2009 5:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm pretty sure there was.

And if there wasn’t, there will be now.

by BobbyV_Incognito on Dec 2, 2009 6:20 PM EST up reply actions  

My respect level for Derek Jeter

just went up a lot. He bagged Jessica Alba? And now Minka Kelly? And Mariah Carey before she got crazy? Dude may be overrated as a baseball player, but damn…

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 2, 2009 7:58 PM EST up reply actions  

ugh

Anti-Tiger: Yanks’ Jeter Picks Up Sportsman Award

NEW YORK (CBS) ―Tiger Woods is the latest high-profile athlete to find himself in the headlines for all the wrong reasons.

But one athlete who seems to get it right every time is Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter.

by Pack Bringley on Dec 2, 2009 8:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Frenchy...

says his in the best shape of his life every year.

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." A. Bartlett Giamatti

by sddbaker on Dec 2, 2009 5:39 PM EST reply actions  

Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!

Don’t judge me! Stop it! Stop your judging!

If there's ever a riot at Citi Field and Oliver Perez was the starter, I started the riot.

by meigs1414 on Dec 2, 2009 9:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Obviously. I wish there was an old Gene Wilder version of everything...

…Transformers, Night at the Museum, Twilight, Paul Blart Mall Cop… “You don’t know what you’re missing, kids. The Gene Wilder version? Way better.”

by Pack Bringley on Dec 3, 2009 12:08 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Thats a little unfair

They were completely different movies. The Burton / Depp one was absurdly dark, and if you’re a Burton fan, you would love it. One of my favorite lines from any movie is when his father, the dentist tells him “go ahead, but I won’t be here when you come back”
I guess it takes an eccentric to like movies like Sweeney Todd, Corpse Bride, and Edward Scissorhands…

by djg2111 on Dec 3, 2009 12:52 AM EST up reply actions  

I fell asleep in the movie theater watching the Tim Burton version. Suffice to say, that doesn't happen very often.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 12:53 AM EST up reply actions  

I think you may have jumped the gun with this.....

I think the first poll should be who will be the first player to proclaim we are the team to beat.

by fxcarden on Dec 2, 2009 6:08 PM EST reply actions  

I don't know if Wright will get ITBSOHL

but he’ll definitely get a few “Wright’s really bulked up this offseason” headlines, followed by the inevitable steroids whispers.

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 2, 2009 7:59 PM EST up reply actions  

steroids whispers? really?

I think the ny media would be surprised to learn that david uses curse words or once got angry at his big brother.

by Pack Bringley on Dec 2, 2009 8:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Perez

so his signing can be justified.

"We're investigating the investigative procedure of the investigation of Tony Bernazard"---Omar Minaya (he really didn't say it but he would"

by firejerrynow on Dec 2, 2009 6:53 PM EST reply actions  

My dream.....

       Early in spring training, the bulked up Nick Evens storms into Jerry’s office demanding playingtime while Jerry is being interviewed by Adam Rubin. Jerry promptly rips off his shirt and challenges Evans to a fight, which ends with the shirtless Jerry giving mouth-to-mouth to the floor. Rubin reports Jerry’s taunting behavior (and injuries) causing him to be fired and Rubin applies for the job, but is rebuffed as the Mets hire a REAL manager. Evans is suspended, but makes more money as an ultimate fighter and is remembered fondly forever by Mets fans.

by Cranky50 on Dec 2, 2009 9:02 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

the real manager is

Disco Hayes, called thusly because his winning percentage is always in the 70s. Disco finds a way to eliminate the position of pitcher, employing a merry-go-round of 9 position players who can each submarine the ball disco-style then scamper to the optimal position on the diamond, dictated by statistical numbers, to record the ground ball out. Mets-style “Disco Ball” is often imitated, never duplicated, and all thanks to Nick Evans.

by Pack Bringley on Dec 2, 2009 9:38 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm all for it.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 2, 2009 11:47 PM EST up reply actions  

My new favorite Mets firing scenario.

Just include Omar Minaya in a mysterious clubhouse explosion set off by Brian Stokes’ lab for cancer research.

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 3, 2009 8:19 AM EST up reply actions  

Oliver Perez in the best shape of his life still involves too many donuts.

I’m just not seeing it.

So it has to be Murphy. No harder worker in the majors, and he has something to prove, and a job to nail down.

by SeanSchirmer on Dec 2, 2009 10:03 PM EST reply actions  

i don't think a 25 y.o. can qualify

They reserve ITBSOHL for cases when it isn’t true.

by Pack Bringley on Dec 2, 2009 10:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm going with Francoeur

He’s gonna be psyched to be starting an entire season in New York, he isn’t going to be pressing anymore, he’s going to have teammates he’s completely comfortable with, he’s going to be in a good place, he’s going to be in great shape…

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 2, 2009 11:48 PM EST reply actions  

I went with Francoeur too

Because he likes to talk.

http://www.capitolavenueclub.com/

by PWHjort on Dec 3, 2009 12:51 AM EST up reply actions  

Gotta be Perez

because he’s the only one who was notably out of shape last year. None of the rest of those guys played as they did because they were out of shape, just because they were injured or declining or just plain not that good.

by JoshNY on Dec 3, 2009 12:28 AM EST reply actions  

"I'm in the best shape of my life!"

“Uh, Bengie, you’re currently eating two burgers that you replaced the buns with donuts…”
“Exactly! I left off the mayo!”

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 3, 2009 8:21 AM EST up reply actions  

did you know that using the phrase "fatty mayo"

only encourages me to continue not eating mayonnaise?

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 3, 2009 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

I never liked mayo

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 5:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Mustard, my friend. Mustard.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't like mayo much but I loathe mustard.

Ketchup is where it is at. The greatest condiment ever, with no close second.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 7:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Ketchup? What are you, six?

Mustard > All other condiments

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 8:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Flagged

Ketchup goes with everything. EVERYTHING! Burgers, chicken, steaks, french fries, onion rings, hot dogs, literally anything meat or poultry related. Mustard is horrible.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 10:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Ketchup doesn't belong anywhere near a hot dog.

Heathen.

"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez

by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Dec 3, 2009 10:14 PM EST up reply actions  

+1,000,000,000

ketchup on a hot dog makes me want to vomit. Same with ketchup on chicken. Don’t get me wrong, ketchup is awesome on burgers, but that’s pretty much it. And even then, I love the Wendy’s system of mixing ketchup and mayo. Mmmmmm

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 3, 2009 10:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I knew I was gonna get some angry comments for that one.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 10:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, yeah.

Heck, it even made me gloss over the fact that you said that ketchup goes with steak.

Chicken I suppose would be a personal preference but I just don’t see it. That was always pretty gross for me.

"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez

by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Dec 3, 2009 10:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Every time I take out the ketchup to put on my ribeye

my father gives me a fake disappointed/angry look and urges me to use the A1. Same with hot dogs and mustard.

I’ll put ketchup on anything that allows me to, and a lot of it too.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 10:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Ketchup sucks.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 4, 2009 5:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Blasphemy.

Ketchup rocks. Goes great with just about anything (burgers, hot dogs, meatloaf, fried chicken, roast beef SANDWICHES). Hot dogs, for me, require ketchup AND mustard (spicy brown to be spec.).

The ketchup on steak thing made me cringe, though. Only A1 or BBQ sauce for those.

by Trey111 on Dec 5, 2009 9:54 PM EST up reply actions  

sweet baby ray's barbecue sauce and ranch dressing

and “i can’t believe it’s not butter”

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 4, 2009 1:19 AM EST up reply actions  

Mustard? That goes with pretzels only, especially Gulden's Brown and Spicy.

And ham, as per my family’s New Year’s Day dinner tradition.

Beer is good! And stuff!

by R_Adragna on Dec 3, 2009 7:53 PM EST up reply actions  

And corned beef. And sausages. And hot dogs. And...

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 8:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Forgot about hot dogs. I'll give ya that.

Corned beef, meh. I only eat it two days after the Ides of March. Without the mustard, I may add.

And sausages, nah. I got pasta sauce for that.

Beer is good! And stuff!

by R_Adragna on Dec 3, 2009 9:27 PM EST up reply actions  

The only good corned beef is the Jewish version, with rye and mustard. The Irish version with cabbage is a pale immitation.

Sausages are very versatile. They are good with all kinds of things; I was just using them as an example of things that mustard is good on. My favorite version of sausage will always be sausage and peppers, sans anything, except maybe a little salt and pepper.

I hated buying food at Shea, but sometimes I couldn’t stop myself when I smelled those sausage and peppers…

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 4, 2009 5:41 PM EST up reply actions  

It's funny you say that because...

while I gotta have ketchup on my hot dogs, I only eat mustard on a smoked sausage.

by Trey111 on Dec 5, 2009 9:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Ketchup goes better with corned beef, and especially hot dogs.

Don’t care for sausage too much, unless it’s dried sausage and that’s best plain.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 10:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Ketchup with hot dogs? Really?

I understand hamburgers and fries, but hot dogs? What?

At least tell me you use Thumanns hot dogs, then I could be OK somewhat.

Beer is good! And stuff!

by R_Adragna on Dec 3, 2009 11:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Hebrew National

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 11:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Either that or i'll get some from Nathan's

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Dec 3, 2009 11:53 PM EST up reply actions  

with you all the way on ketchup+hot dogs.

it just makes it sweet and delicious… mmmmm

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 4, 2009 1:21 AM EST up reply actions  

GO ONNNNNNN

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 4, 2009 1:21 AM EST up reply actions  

That's good, then.

Mayo sucks, and if the world stopped eating it, I wouldn’t be happy, but I’d certainly give a grand shrug of indifference-borderline-’that’s nice’.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Good lord, that's a heart attack in a bottle.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 3, 2009 8:56 PM EST up reply actions  

True. But bacon makes everything better anyway.

Plus, we could use a lifetime supply of that to bribe Bengie into not signing with us.

Beer is good! And stuff!

by R_Adragna on Dec 3, 2009 9:30 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know...Would Omar being an accessory to a murder be a good thing for the club, or a bad thing?

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 4, 2009 5:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, maybe...

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 5, 2009 12:32 PM EST up reply actions  

that's why they make Baconnaise...Lite!!!

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 4, 2009 1:22 AM EST up reply actions  

OMG...LMAO!!!

That just shouts contradiction.

by Trey111 on Dec 5, 2009 10:00 PM EST up reply actions  

BTW, R_Adragna's sig just reminded me...

…that the one thing that goes best with burgers is beer.

by Trey111 on Dec 5, 2009 10:02 PM EST reply actions  

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