Things I Would Do If It Meant Not Signing Bengie Molina To A Dumb Contract

by James Kannengieser on Dec 8, 2009 5:00 AM EST

Re-watch every one of Oliver Perez's 2009 starts.

Go donut for donut with Livan Hernandez.

Spend the 4th of July with Vince Coleman.

Read all the Twilight books (just like Cole Hamels!).

Watch every film on the IMDB Bottom 100 in a row.

Let Kevin Mitchell babysit my cat.

Interrupt Al Leiter and John Franco's annual barbecue with some gangsta rap blaring from a boombox.

Go drankin' and huntin' with Brett Myers.

Take horse race betting advice from Paul Lo Duca ("bet it all on RobTheCradle in the 5th at Saratoga").

Listen to Evan Roberts and Joe Beningo everyday.

Go out for pizza with Shane Spencer and Karim Garcia.

Endure a swift kick to my nether regions courtesy of Robocop.

Get the same haircut as Jayson Werth.

A Citi Field version of BodySuit Man.

Watch the 9th inning of Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS once a day for the rest of my life.

Read every column ever written by Kevin Kernan and Bill Madden.

Watch every Kevin Costner film in which he attempts an accent.

Enroll in "Negotiations 101", Omar Minaya's first class as a college professor.

Go out for a night on the town with Miguel Cabrera.

Hire Jerry Koosman's accountant to do my taxes.

Continue to watch almost every Met game despite the incompetents in the front office (I will still do this even if Bengie is signed, unfortunately).

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I'd take a cab ride with Duaner Sanchez

"[The Giants] beat us down. We were beat by a grown-man team, a team we want to be like one day. They came in here and took it to us. Out-manned us, out-gunned us. ... It wasn't even close." - Raheem Morris, 9/27/09

by cjmulrain on Dec 8, 2009 6:33 AM EST reply actions 4 recs

I'd hit up a Hooters with Larry

Beer is good! And stuff!

by R_Adragna on Dec 8, 2009 7:56 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

I would leave my mothers basement.

by shwebsi on Dec 8, 2009 8:48 AM EST reply actions

I'd take Mo Vaughn and Livan Hernandez out for dinner.

"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez

by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Dec 8, 2009 9:03 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

I'd write a positive article about Tom Glavine

- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter

by riversmccown on Dec 8, 2009 9:14 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

I'd drive Cleon Jones's van

Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the street: wheredotheygo?!?!?

by CharlieH on Dec 8, 2009 9:21 AM EST reply actions

I'd listen, in order, to every one of John Sterling's home run calls from 2009.

"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez

by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on Dec 8, 2009 10:01 AM EST reply actions 4 recs

+1000000

DO WHAT JOSE REYES DO!!!

by Jadden Hopkins on Dec 8, 2009 4:10 PM EST up reply actions

I'd spend the 4th of July with Vince Coleman.

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 8, 2009 10:27 AM EST reply actions

I swear I thought of this one before scrolling down

and seeing you already got here. Nice work.

by Mackey Sasser on Dec 8, 2009 6:35 PM EST up reply actions

From the post above

Spend the 4th of July with Vince Coleman.

by James Kannengieser on Dec 9, 2009 3:33 PM EST up reply actions

I would wash Jeff Kent's van

by JoshNY on Dec 8, 2009 10:47 AM EST reply actions

I'd go to Philly dressed as Santa

"We're just as bad as the old Mets, but this time nobody's laughing"
-Dallas Green

by Stephen Schmidt on Dec 8, 2009 11:07 AM EST reply actions 2 recs

I'd introduce a female friend to Brett Myers

by Bieser's Balk on Dec 8, 2009 11:13 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

I'd record a country music album with Jeff Francouer

If there's ever a riot at Citi Field and Oliver Perez was the starter, I started the riot.

by meigs1414 on Dec 8, 2009 11:35 AM EST reply actions

I'd steal Mo Vaughn's sandwich

by JoshNY on Dec 8, 2009 12:34 PM EST reply actions

I'd take financial advice from Lenny Dykstra

by KeithsMoustache on Dec 8, 2009 12:50 PM EST reply actions

I'd ride the 7 Train with John Rocker, wearing his jersey

by Metropolitans2k on Dec 8, 2009 12:50 PM EST reply actions 2 recs

I'd quit reading AA during class

by boom_roasted on Dec 8, 2009 1:14 PM EST reply actions

I'd get fixed by Rick Peterson

by Pack Bringley on Dec 8, 2009 1:32 PM EST via mobile reply actions

I'd wear tight trousers around Andy Pettite

I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya

by itsmetsforme on Dec 8, 2009 1:32 PM EST reply actions

I'd organize a search party to find Nick Evans.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 8, 2009 1:46 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

i would never want to watch game 7 of the 06’ NLCs again. That final strike gets me every time.

by MyEntireTeamSucks(METS) on Dec 8, 2009 3:39 PM EST reply actions

I would let the mets medical staff cover my personal healthcare for the rest of my life

by KeithsMoustache on Dec 8, 2009 3:44 PM EST reply actions 3 recs

To which we'd have to add, nice knowing you.

by SeanSchirmer on Dec 8, 2009 10:47 PM EST up reply actions

I'd watch the Mets vs Yankees game on 6/12/09 once a day

for the rest of my life and watch every out in the 2009 World Series

DO WHAT JOSE REYES DO!!!

by Jadden Hopkins on Dec 8, 2009 4:18 PM EST reply actions

I'd not complain about any 1st inning bunts

for an entire season, even when Beltran does it.

by Mackey Sasser on Dec 8, 2009 6:38 PM EST reply actions

I'd listen to every Nickelback song ever made consecutively

by Syler on Dec 8, 2009 6:45 PM EST reply actions

I'd let metsguy234 make me a mixtape

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Dec 8, 2009 7:00 PM EST up reply actions

I would LOVE to blast rap at Franco and Lieter's BBQ

by ror0071619 on Dec 8, 2009 9:07 PM EST reply actions

I would wear a Bucky Dent jersey in a game at Fenway Park

And, oh yeah, I’m back after a long hiatus, and in style no less!

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 9, 2009 5:57 AM EST reply actions

I would watch "Meet the Spartans" seven times, consecutively

Who came up with the idea behind that dreck, anyway!?

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 9, 2009 6:03 AM EST reply actions

I will see you,

and raise you this.

by BobbyV_Incognito on Dec 9, 2009 6:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Oh sh*t!

According to sources, the feature pertinent to said link is in fact completed, and is undergoing some editing in this particular floor.

“It’s anti-fantastic!” is about the only way I can review this.

Of course, I’m being vague on purpose, so as not to ruin the suspense for our fellow AA readers.

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 10, 2009 6:19 AM EST up reply actions

Weird

You posted at 6:19 PM EST, and I replied on 6:19 AM EST. I wasn’t even aware of that until now.

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 10, 2009 6:22 AM EST up reply actions

I would walk 35.7 miles in one day all over again

True story… what a f’king ordeal that was!

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 9, 2009 6:07 AM EST reply actions

And last but not least... I would spend 3 nights at the Hotel Carter in Midtown Manhattan

Ahhh, it’s no big deal, riiight? I would rethink that…

"The picture looked like I was in the dugout, but they got it all wrong. I absolutely was never in the dugout."

- Mr. B.V. Incognito

by sj10689 on Dec 9, 2009 6:54 AM EST reply actions

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