In an effort to discourage bad Mets discussion on the internet (yes, impossible), I'm going to start openly mocking. This one is just a test run. Think of it as the site bot scouring the internet for the next "I love Johjima!".
First up, from the edge department, Marty Noble:
Was it coincidence that the Pirates had replaced the Phillies in the third-base dugout at Citi on Friday night? Or did the Mets play poorly by chance?
Or as we say back home: "Nonsense? Or unrelated statement?" Did Marty Noble watch Space Jam instead of the game that night and get confused? I believe I saw the following exchange happen between Jerry Manuel and Pirates manager, John Russel before the game:
JM: Hey...wait a minute...you're not the Cubs. What are you guys doing in there?
JM: Oh, nevermind. That's cool. ...aren't you supposed to be playing the Astros this weekend?
JR: Yea, but plane landed here instead. Funny coincidence, I guess.
JM: Ok, well see you guys on the field.
Tim Brown edges the Mets up to 11 in his power rankings:
11. New York Mets (15-13; Previous: 12) – Omar Minaya discovers areas in which he suspects maybe club lacks "edge." One more September collapse and he’ll be absolutely sure of it.
This statement makes just as little sense as the Noble one, but more subtly. I know one more September collapse and Minaya will be unemployed, does that count?
Now we cruise to the Yahoo comments section:
The team, however, has urged outfielder Lastings Milledge to dress up in a suit, sneak into the Capitol Building, retrieve the ball, and make the necessary repairs on the shattered sandstone walls of the dome before anyone notices.