CHIPPER Jones, grab the biggest fork you own because Tatis is bringing the grand salami to the longest game in Citi Field's young history.
If you don't know the result, the Mets lost. From the introduction, you probably wouldn't have guessed. But that's ok, because I've decided not to be too negative.
Plus, well, it's always fun to mock Larry, even in defeat.
Fernando Tatis hit his first grand slam since 2002 but Martin Prado had the last laugh as he hit a 12th-inning home run off of Ken Takahashi to give the Braves an 8-7 win.
Carlos Beltran and the New York Mets showed heart to come back from the brink of defeat on Tuesday. On Wednesday, they just ran out of steam.
The lead switched hands early on but when it came to the business end of the game, the Mets fell 90ft short as Jose Reyes was left stranded on third.
12 innings, 16 pitchers, 25 hits, almost 400 pitches. And it had a little of everything.
The Braves and Mets exchanged two-spots in the 1st inning and the Braves added a pair in the 3rd.
But Tatis gave the Mets a blast with a home run in the 4th to give the mets a lead they would eventually relinquish after 3hrs 46mins.
Chipper Jones, the guy who victimised the Mets at Shea as much as any hitter in the Bigs, doubled in the first run of the game to score Yunel Escobar in the 1st and Garret Anderson singled him home the following batter to make it 2-0 before the Mets came to bat.
But Jose Reyes led off for the Mets with a double to left and Luis Castillo hit a three-bagger, which was really just a misplayed single.
Carlos Beltran walked and the Braves trade a run for a double play to make it 2-2 before David Wright grounded out.
The Braves re-took the lead on the back of a walk and three straight hits in the 3rd inning, but Jo-Jo Reyes fell into more trouble in the home half of the 4th.
Beltran walked for the second consecutive time, Gary Sheffield singled to center and Wright, who had fallen into an 0-2 hole, he hit a 3-2 squibber off the end of his bat to shallow centre-field to load the bases.
Fill 'em up, bring 'em home
Buddy Carlyle came into the game in long relief, but he served up a 1-0 fastball right down broadway to Tatis for the grand salami - the seventh of Tatis' career.
The pitch was supposed to be down and away, but Tatis doubled his RBI total for the season with one swing of the lumber, driving a ball off the top of the outfield wall.
Jo-Jo Reyes left with the lead but immediately got placed on the hook for the loss and Mets starter Jonathan Niese then got pulled with two outs in the fifth, also with the lead after giving up a fifth Braves run on Chipper's sac fly to Ryan Church.
Brian Stokes recorded four consecutive outs in relief but Bobby Parnell gave up the tying run, an unearned run because of a David Wright fielding error, to Anderson in the 7th inning to make it 6-6.
The Mets had a chance to re-take the lead straight away, but timely mental errors cost them dearly.
Reyes doubled down the line to left on a ball that Chipper thought was going foul, but he tried to take third on next batter Castillo's ground ball that was hit to the third-base side of the shortstop.
To make matters worse, Reyes didn't even slide into the base, making Chipper's tag very simple and infinitely frustrating.
To add insult to injury, Castillo then got thrown out trying to steal second base on a tag that was probably a fraction too late. When it rains it pours.
Things didn't get any better for the Mets in the 8th when JJ Putz came in to pitch.
It seems that every outing is an adventure for JJ right now. He gave up a run on a pair of doubles yesterday and he gave up the go-ahead run on two more rocket doubles today.
Marlon Prado led off the inning with a well-hit two-bagger and after David Ross popped up trying to bunt Ross over, pinch-hitting Kelly Johnson drilled one to deep right field and off the mesh fench at the Mo Zone to make it 7-6.
Mets fans called for character and Gary Sheffield delivered in the 8th inning, depositing Rafael Soriano's fastball to left field for a solo blast to tie the game.
The 9th inning brought K-Rod into the game, but he too fell into early trouble, giving up a line drive double to left and walking Chipper intentionally.
Anderson should have bunted but instead he lofted a fly ball to Church who circled the ball, got behind it and unleashed a cannon to Wright who dove to the bag to tag out Escobar who was challenging the throw.
The Mets could not put across a runner in the bottom of the inning and they had to rely on Pedro Feliciano retiring two batters on two pitchers to stop a run from scoring in the top of the 10th.
Feliciano then retired three more in the 11th but Prado hit the go-ahead home run off the Mets' last piycher in the bullpen in the 12th.
Reyes led off the bottom of the inning with a double which looked like it was going to carry out and he advanced to third base on Castillo's sacrifice.
However, Gonzalez struck out Delgado with the high heat and Sheffield on a nasty backdoor breaking ball to seal the win.
It's a long plane ride to San Francisco. Let's hope the west coast weather get the Mets back on track.
For those of you who were counting, here's Tatis' grand slam history, which includes the pair he hit in the same inning against Chan Ho Park.
July 2, 2002 @ Atlanta
September 16, 2000 vs Chicago Cubs
July 25, 2000 vs Arizona
August 9, 1999 @ Philadelphia
April 23, 1999 @ LA Dodgers
April 23, 1999 @ LA Dodgers