I'm going to try the worst of the web thing again soon.  Until then, here's something Marty Noble wrote.

The Marty Noble Mailbag is now called the inbox, because he figured out email apparently. The title is "Inbox: Is Reyes getting a free pass?" and the first question is Noble's Phillipsesque rant about how Reyes isn't 22 anymore and how Ryan Church should play every position everyday (I know you a Milledge-hater, Marty), but I'll skip that...

For some reason, whenever Jose Valentin is around, Reyes' statistics increase dramatically. Shouldn't the Mets consider bringing Valentin up as a bench coach to keep him around the team?
-- Anthony V., Boston, Mass.

Anthony, I think you're onto something! I made some additional graphs to support your conclusion:

I'd also recommend you a consultation with Ray Rubin Sports Analysts, they're an expert at this sort of thing.

This question is a punching-bag most rational people would ignore, but here's Marty's take:

Valentin no longer is in the Mets' employ. He was released by the club in Spring Training and decided against playing in the Minor Leagues.

GOTCHA!!!! BOOOM HEADSHOT!!!!!! NOBLE FROM DOWNTOOOOOWWWWNNNN!

With Carlos Delgado out for a while, shouldn't Gary Sheffield be considered as a replacement at first base? He used to be an infielder and now is a below-average outfielder. Jeremy Reed and Fernando Tatis are better outfielders than Sheffield, so shouldn't the Mets place him at first to keep him in the lineup and have better fielders in the outfield?
-- Tommy P., Linkoping, Sweden

Good question. Do they call it honkball in Sweden, too?

Sheffield won't be confused with Torii Hunter, Aaron Rowand or the Andruw Jones of 1999, but he has acquitted himself fairly well in the outfield. And I dare say he would be less of a first baseman.

I don't think he'll be confused with the Gary Sheffield of 1999. That's probably a subliminal dig on Beltran too, picking Hunter.

Moreover, Reed looked quite comfortable at first base.

Factual Inaccuracy Count: 1

Reed also is a superior outfielder, but as long as he's not going to be playing the outfield regularly, he might benefit the team most as a first baseman

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Contradiction Count: 1

Do Joe Morgan and Jon Miller read the standings? The Mets are the hottest team in baseball and they're in first place. And the two ESPN announcers spent most of Sunday night's game pointing out what's wrong with the Mets -- lack of leadership, Carlos Beltran isn't that good, Jose Reyes makes mistakes. What about the bottom line? They're winning the National League East.
-- Chuck F., Allendale, N.J.

Like Joebait before it, I think this question is the first MartyBait™.

I suspect they were looking to the ultimate bottom line -- the final standings -- and providing their take on how the race will turn, given what the Mets have done and have not done.

Nope, they were just looking into ol'Joe's crystal ball, same one Omar's been using for years. This statement seems irrefutable, I mean, who really does care about the current standings when you know how it ends?

Morgan addressed the comments made weeks ago by general manager Omar Minaya, regarding the club's lack of an edge. I think he confused edge and leadership.

"TOTALLY DIFFERENT. You guys don't understand those are so different! Oh man, if only you knew."

Judging by how the Mets performed in each of the past two Septembers, they do lack an edge, not completely, but they don't appear to be a team that handles adversity as well as it might. Leadership is part of that, but not all of that. The link between leadership and having a team with an edge is indirect.

"It's complicated. They have some edge and some leadership and the relationship between the two is strongly correlated but not necessarly causal...like pirates and global warming...no it's a formula, you have to multiple by RBI/AB...

Listen it's like this: the Mets have the division crown gift wrapped and delivered to them the last two years. Now the Mets are a boxcutter. They've got the edge necessary to cut through most of the tape and the wrapping, but when they break the blade on the trophy because they cut too deep, nobody has the leadership to stand up and say, 'We can overcome this adversity. Jose, go to the living room and get the scissors."

3

I have thought for two years that what Steve Phillips said Sunday is true -- that it is impossible, or least difficult, for David Wright to assert himself in a clubhouse of players who have more playing time than he does, players who were his "superiors" when he broke in.

Let the record show: Marty Noble agrees with the man not even Joe Morgan and Jon Heyman could defend.

3

What do you see the Mets doing long term with Bobby Parnell? It is obvious he can more than get by in the bullpen with just his slider and fastball, but he was groomed as a starter in the Minors and if he had a decent changeup or splitter to keep hitters honest, he could be really effective there. I remember hearing that guys used to spend a season or two doing mop up work in the 'pen before becoming starters (see Nolan Ryan with the Mets, John Santana and Francisco Liriano with the Twins). Any chance the Mets start doing this with their young guys?

They have drafted quite a few young promising guys the past few years, and if they could be effective like Parnell out of the 'pen then it would save the Mets from having to give guaranteed contracts to guys in their 'pen and allow them to move those not performing well to the Minor Leagues, giving others opportunities.
-- Brian P., Atlanta, Ga.

All good points.

First off, Parnell was given the opportunity last year and again in Spring Training because he throws strikes and has swing-and-miss stuff.

Not only does that have nothing to do with the question but it's factual inaccuracy number 4:

The Mets needed both qualities; they acquired J.J. Putz and Francisco Rodriguez to address the need.

"The need" makes me think Marty sees the offseason through Omar's monocle. Also see above chart for Putz: 5

Not all young pitchers have that ability. From what I can see, a dearth of pitchers with swing-and-miss stuff and the ability to throw strikes exists throughout the game.

 4

What has happened to Nick Evans? He had a tremendous spring and now he's been demoted to Double-A? Is Fernando Martinez going to make the club this year? Why isn't Reed getting more starts? He too had a great spring and seems capable of being a breakout player.
-- David B., Vero Beach, Fla.

Noble has already talked about Nick Evans like he sucks and his .080 BABIP and 16% LD rate make sense in other articles.

He [Fartinez] hasn't mastered his skills in Triple-A. Give him some time.

Some say F! hits homers to spite Kevin Goldstein. I say Marty Noble.

Good results in Spring Training games don't mean that much. Poor results do, however.

 5