Pedro Feliciano Wants A Vacation

by James Kannengieser on Jun 21, 2009 12:00 AM EDT

Location: Mets clubhouse, June 21st, 11:00 AM
Situation: Pedro Feliciano sitting in his chair, 20 lbs. of ice on his arm, contemplating how to get some days off

This is ridiculous. I've pitched in 5 games in a row now. Some guy in the stands yelled to me that I'm on track to pitch in 96 games this season. I don't want my arm to fall off, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do? Think Pedro, think.

:::Jerry Manuel walks by:::

Jerry: "Pedro, you will be pitching today."
Pedro: "But what if it's a blowout? We've got Switzer and Taka-"
Jerry: "You will be pitching today. It is written. See you in the 7th inning."

I think skip hates me. Maybe he has a secret deal with Dr. James Andrews? Who knows but I don't want to visit that guy. Can I go back to Japan? That was the best season - 37 games pitched and all the Pachinko I could handle. Alright concentrate Pedro we need a plan. That Governor Paterson guy was here earlier this season, he kind of looks like me.

Maybe he can take my spot for a few days. Let's open up his Wikipedia page and see if he can throw a baseba- he's blind?! Great, just great, there is no hope. Maybe a DL trip would get the job done.

:::Ray Ramirez walks by:::

Pedro: "Hey Ray, is it healthy for me to pitch everyday? My arm is starting to hurt, what should I do?"
Ray: "All I can tell you is the same thing I told Church last season - take 2 Vicodin and walk it off. Worked out for Church right?"
Pedro: "Uhh, not exactly Ray."
Ray: "Not my problem."
Pedro: "Actually it is. It's your job. Like my job is to pitch in every game."
Ray: "Don't ask for my help again unless you're missing a limb or can't feel your extremities. I don't deal with pansies."

Well thanks for nothing "head trainer". We're playing Pujols's team this week so I shouldn't be needed. That's a relief. No reason to bring in the lefty specialist to face Skip Schumaker or Rick Ankiel right? Okay what other options are there to get me a day off? I noticed Stokes taught himself how to pitch lefthanded. He got pretty good too, but I guess that's not a surprise given all the free time he's had. Wonder if he'd be down for a uniform switch?

:::Brian Stokes walks by:::

Feliciano: "You're Stokes, right? I noticed you throwing 96 mph sliders lefthanded the other day - you want to get into a game? If we switch jerseys I guarantee you'll pitch today."
Stokes: "For real? Sounds great, I was about to take a mid-season sabbatical."
Feliciano: " ‘Feliciano' will be pitching today in the 7th, so be ready. Thanks again man."
Stokes: "No problem. ‘Stokes' never pitches, so you should have the day off."

Later in the day
Location: Mets dugout, 3:15 PM, 7th inning
Situation: Omar Minaya pays a surprise visit to the dugout

Jerry: [on bullpen phone] "It's Feliciano time. Actually hold on a second, Omar comin'"
Omar: "I was Googling ‘Sean Green unicycle' and something written by a dude in his mother's basement came up. Mentioned a guy name Stocks who is apparently on the roster. It made me laugh a hearty Omar laugh, so I think we should put Stocks in."
Jerry: "This better work out or you're gonna be one cadaverous mofo. [on bullpen phone] Get Stocks up, he's coming in next!"

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Comments

I feel bad for both of them.

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Jun 21, 2009 12:03 AM EDT reply actions

How did that come up second on that search?

I am vexed. Terribly vexed.

by meigs1414 on Jun 21, 2009 1:22 AM EDT reply actions

You should have done it star wars style

and have this one be the prequel to the stokes post

King of the bling come to lay down the evidence//Not George Bush, L-Millz be da president

by Sam Page on Jun 21, 2009 2:00 AM EDT reply actions

Spectacular James, hilarious

Poor Pedro and Stokes. One gets way to much playing time, the other not enough.

"We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people."

by Evan_S on Jun 21, 2009 2:18 AM EDT reply actions

Hilarious

St. Louis relievers... defying win expectancy since 2008
http://www.drivelinemechanics.com/

by vivaelpujols on Jun 21, 2009 6:37 AM EDT reply actions

I can't believe Stokes has even pitched in 23 games

it feels like 5. One every 2 weeks or so.

Trying to believe is my full-time occupation.

by Preach19 on Jun 21, 2009 11:03 AM EDT reply actions

Stokes has been in less games then I have in my softball league

and we play once a week

"Put it in the books. The Mets are the 2006 National League Eastern Divison champions"--Howie Rose

by firejerrynow on Jun 21, 2009 5:23 PM EDT reply actions

And of course

after you post this. Jerry negligently uses Feliciano in an unnecessary situation. The game was at 8-6 with the bases loaded and no outs – we were unlikely to win anyway, and he totally could have use Switzer and given Pedro a break. And of course, right after Gary says that Jerry is OK using Pedro so many games in a row as long as it’s only to one batter, he leaves him in for four batters. Just mindless.

And I would have also would have preferred that Takahashi have started the inning to give Green, who had pitched 3 games in a row, a break.

by Mount17 on Jun 21, 2009 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

Wow, Jerry's gotta knock it off with some of this crap

In today’s postgame, he essentially admitted that he overused certain guys, and then said something about going going out and getting “fresh bodies”. So he causes a problem, and then calls out Omar to solve it. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it seems like Omar just kind of takes it.

"All energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet

What a fool I was to defy him"

-HST

by Mark Himmelstein on Jun 21, 2009 6:00 PM EDT reply actions

He has a point

Switzer/Takahashi are two useless bodies in the pen and that handicap is taxing the rest of the guys … to an extent. Omar needs to fill out those spots w/some capable arms. I’d personally go w/Nieve and Redding in the pen, put Perez/Maine in the rotation or Niese if one of those guys is not ready to go soon.

But Jerry continues the passive-aggressive quotes in the press about not having the right guys on the roster and it’s not really helping the situation. He needs to vent this in private, not to the media. STFU and do your job.

by Zwill on Jun 21, 2009 7:04 PM EDT up reply actions

I agree

and the only thing I add is that Takahashi isn’t useless if Jerry knew to use him against righties and not as a LOOGY, and Stokes isn’t used at all.

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf"
-Tug McGraw

by squid92 on Jun 21, 2009 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah but how long has that been for?

Until recently, the Mets had more than four reliever who had obvious utility, and Jerry’s kind of ignored some of them. If he’d been taking better advantage of his bullpen all along, he wouldn’t have this problem now. There’s no responsible way Pedro Feliciano should have warmed up and gotten into 40 games already this year. If Jerry had been willing to use Stokes against that crappy lefty with a three run lead earlier in the year, Feliciano wouldn’t be so overworked now. Why was Figgy called up a second time and never used?

But its true, its not all Jerry’s fault. Why did Ollie spend a week in the pen before going on the DL? The only thing that accomplished was that it generated accusations that the injury wasn’t real and meant that Pedro got every lefty assignment there was. Why was O’Day DFA’d for one Figgy start (sure, its hindsight, but his 3.06 tRA would look mighty fine right now)?

"All energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet

What a fool I was to defy him"

-HST

by Mark Himmelstein on Jun 22, 2009 3:20 AM EDT up reply actions

switzer and takahashi

are probably useless but they haven’t been given a chance to find out. Stokes is def not useless and has been buried for no reason while Green, Parnell and Feliciano pitch until their arms fall off. No Niese, no Figgy and no help from anywhere from Omar. Nobody can defend Manuel now. The injuries can’t be helped but this abuse of what was a pretty good bullpen is simply unforgiveable

by Endys Game on Jun 21, 2009 10:21 PM EDT reply actions