Mets Announce Managerial Finalists: Wally Backman, Terry Collins, Bob Melvin, Chip Hale

The Mets have announced the human meatbags they will be inviting back for a second round of interviews to fill the position of mindless automaton field manager. The supposed finalists are:

- Terry Collins
- Wally Backman
- Chip Hale
- Bob Melvin

Whom do I want to win? I really couldn't care much less about anything than I do about the Mets managerial search. If it were truly up to me, and I could change MLB's rules to suit my needs, the Mets would be managed on the field by a sophisticated win probability computer, which would take into account standard win expectancy matrices plus more complicated pitcher- and batter-specific algorithms to refine the basic probabilities according to strengths and weaknesses of individual players. Yes, all in-game strategy would be determined probabilistically, not intestinally.

And since millionaire crybabies need constant pampering, I'd also hire Tony Robbins as a life coach to keep morale high. We'll have the best damned clubhouse chemistry in baseball, I tells ya!

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Amazin' Avenue

You must be a member of Amazin' Avenue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Amazin' Avenue. You should read them.

Join Amazin' Avenue

You must be a member of Amazin' Avenue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Amazin' Avenue. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker