Mets Announce Managerial Finalists: Wally Backman, Terry Collins, Bob Melvin, Chip Hale
by Eric Simon on Nov 16, 2010 9:04 PM EST
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PrintThe Mets have announced the human meatbags they will be inviting back for a second round of interviews to fill the position of mindless automaton field manager. The supposed finalists are:
- Terry Collins
- Wally Backman
- Chip Hale
- Bob Melvin
Whom do I want to win? I really couldn't care much less about anything than I do about the Mets managerial search. If it were truly up to me, and I could change MLB's rules to suit my needs, the Mets would be managed on the field by a sophisticated win probability computer, which would take into account standard win expectancy matrices plus more complicated pitcher- and batter-specific algorithms to refine the basic probabilities according to strengths and weaknesses of individual players. Yes, all in-game strategy would be determined probabilistically, not intestinally.
And since millionaire crybabies need constant pampering, I'd also hire Tony Robbins as a life coach to keep morale high. We'll have the best damned clubhouse chemistry in baseball, I tells ya!
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I thought I'd spare AA my Chippy gif
so that works well.
Save Jenrry Mejia!
In lobby for Chip Hale as Mets 2011 Manager.
while we're wasting time looking for someone to do a job a computer could do
THE BRAVES ARE DOING MADNESS.
fire alderson
mediocrity thy name is Wilpon- jdon (and Billy King-Paul G B)
Official Member of the "DO NOT TRADE DERRICK FAVORS" Movement
by Gina on Nov 16, 2010 9:13 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
lulz
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
by Thomas Wachtel on Nov 16, 2010 9:23 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah that guy sucks...
I don’t know why we hired him.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 9:24 PM EST up reply actions
BUNT HUMANOID BUNT DEFRAGMENTING REPLACE USER PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Nov 16, 2010 9:42 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Ummmmmm what?
LOL. Too strange.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 10:05 PM EST up reply actions
I think we should trade for Tommy Hanson
and in turn Cyborg Hanson, cuz he’s awesome:
RECALIBRATION REQUIRED PRIOR TO HUMAN UGGLA DAN ARRIVAL IN CITY ATLANTA TO AVOID NAMECALLING SLANGNAMES IN CLUB HOUSE
by secret defense on Nov 17, 2010 12:45 AM EST up reply actions
Dr. Cal Lightman
He can read what makes people tick or not tick and he’ll always be able to tell if an injured player is doing more harm than good by continuing play. And if he’s anything like Tim Roth’s portrayal we’ll be delighted by years of incessant head-tilting and quasi-drunken movement.
…on the subject of Tony Robbins, en Los Mets idioma
"..."
by Thaddeus Ballpheasant on Nov 16, 2010 9:14 PM EST reply actions
pardon my ignorance
but exactly why do the mets need to publicize this information? Is one going to get voted off?
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
Sponsored by Soy Joy - Fortified with Optimism!
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Nov 16, 2010 9:19 PM EST up reply actions
mets do appeal to similar demographic
Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white pervs, and the obese
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Nov 16, 2010 9:20 PM EST up reply actions
make them compete in a variety of arenas
American Gladiator, Last Comic Standing, Iron Chef, Katamari Damacy, etc.
"..."
by Thaddeus Ballpheasant on Nov 16, 2010 9:17 PM EST up reply actions
Variety?
How about all at the same time?
Hale appears to be shredding cilantro and adding it to the oyster glaze, AND HE’S KNOCKED OFF THE KITCHEN FLOOR BY TURBO.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 9:25 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
Kitchen stadium
Melo? Not for my Favors!
NetsMets4life = Kat Stacks
by NetsMets4Life on Nov 16, 2010 9:38 PM EST up reply actions
that would be way more fun
and would probably decrease fan apathy
mediocrity thy name is Wilpon- jdon (and Billy King-Paul G B)
Official Member of the "DO NOT TRADE DERRICK FAVORS" Movement
Total agreement
These “updates” are either cloying, stupid, or a chance to put a link to the Mets online shop in an e-mail that doesn’t seem like an ad.
I was way wrong about Jeff Francoeur . . . but at least I wasn't paid for it.
Take off every fWAR for great justice
HELLO HELLO MR WILPON... BUY THAT MANSION. WE DONT NEED A CONDO.
by kendynamo on Nov 16, 2010 9:16 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
the second interview with the Mets obviously has a nail eating competition
this is where Backman can really shine.
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
Grission never tasted so good
"..."
by Thaddeus Ballpheasant on Nov 16, 2010 9:18 PM EST up reply actions
Fail.
Everyone knows you eat nails without any milk. Ask Spongebob.
Melo? Not for my Favors!
NetsMets4life = Kat Stacks
by NetsMets4Life on Nov 16, 2010 9:37 PM EST up reply actions
Ummmm....
He didn’t eat Nails, he fed off of him.
WILD BOYS.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 10:06 PM EST up reply actions
Love the caption
You have no chance to survive, make your time!
"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage
by blueandorange4life on Nov 16, 2010 9:21 PM EST reply actions
I think we need to lock Eric in a room...
Or a basement, and make him watch Major League over and over, not unlike the applicable scene in Brazil. Who could have turned that Indians team around? Not a computer. Of this I, and Metsmerized, can assure you.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
Well I guess there's only one thing left to do.
WIN THE WHOLE. FUCKING. THING.
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
by Thomas Wachtel on Nov 16, 2010 9:27 PM EST up reply actions
i think the unintended consequences of Eric Simon's suggestion
is that the new robot manager would play favorites, only using certain, proven veteran players, much like Willie relied upon Julio Franco.
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Nov 16, 2010 9:31 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
Whoa
That robot has a pretty similar batting stance to Julio Franco.
by TedBerg on Nov 16, 2010 9:38 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Effin A
Melo? Not for my Favors!
NetsMets4life = Kat Stacks
by NetsMets4Life on Nov 16, 2010 9:39 PM EST up reply actions
figures... I found it on a Br*ves related site
even more uncanny is how much this looks like a lefthanded Kris Benson!
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Nov 16, 2010 9:49 PM EST up reply actions
Where is Robot Anna?
What's the score, boys?
What did Bugs Bunny do?
What's with the Carrot League baseball today?
In Japan....
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 18, 2010 1:09 AM EST up reply actions
Wow Ted...Good call...
While we’re on the subject of robots, I have found one that should be on call if Ollie ever gets put into a game again…
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 10:08 PM EST up reply actions
This doesn't really matter all that much to me
but if I had to order the candidates, I guess I’d go:
Collins
Hale
Backman
Melvin
Collins’ experience is what puts him over Hale for me but Hale really piques my interest. I think either one could do a solid job. Melvin does nothing for me and Backman seems like a disaster waiting to happen. In the end, I just want some really good players added to this team. That’s what’ll win games.
Chamption of the R.A. Dickey Face contest and "Cromulent Photoshopper Extraordinaire" of Amazin' Avenue!
by Steve Schreiber on Nov 16, 2010 9:34 PM EST reply actions
Anyone besides Bob Melvin I guess.
He’s the only one that people are saying is pretty dumb in a Jerry kind of way.
Backman would be the most entertaining, just hope he leaves the bunting love behind with the instructional leagues.
Can we just hire a cyborg already?
There is no hope.... there is no future....there is only GRISSIONZ
The 2011 Mets- Rock bottom: We haven't reached it yet
OT: Give this a listen.
We need this guy on WFAN. Enough said. The Eagles site calls it “epic.” I think we need a new word to describe this talk radio rant, re: the Redskins loss.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
Can't say I blame him
That organization is totally inept from top to bottom. They’re like us, except much worse.
There is no hope.... there is no future....there is only GRISSIONZ
The 2011 Mets- Rock bottom: We haven't reached it yet
Im only 5 minutes through
and I’ve got goosebumps.
Melo? Not for my Favors!
NetsMets4life = Kat Stacks
by NetsMets4Life on Nov 16, 2010 10:33 PM EST up reply actions
and would that other idiot stop saying
“get ’em”
Melo? Not for my Favors!
NetsMets4life = Kat Stacks
by NetsMets4Life on Nov 16, 2010 10:34 PM EST up reply actions
Haha, this
The terrible sidekicking is nearly as epic as the rant.
by Pack Bringley on Nov 16, 2010 11:57 PM EST up reply actions
Respectfully disagreed
I loved that. Also, it’s LaVar Arrington, which is absurd.
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
by Thomas Wachtel on Nov 17, 2010 12:10 AM EST up reply actions
Holy shit
I know exactly how he feels. Exactly. I love this so much.
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
by Thomas Wachtel on Nov 16, 2010 11:00 PM EST up reply actions
Also:
TURN YOUR KEYCARDS IN.
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
by Thomas Wachtel on Nov 16, 2010 11:14 PM EST up reply actions
Holy hell, that was epic
Chuck Fatcessa for this guy ASAP
"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage
by blueandorange4life on Nov 17, 2010 12:13 AM EST up reply actions
"I Want Redskins Reparations!"
Classic!
"We have gotten to the point where not only big market clubs are going over slot, but small market clubs are going over slot, and they see it as a competitive advantage. I don’t think we can be left behind in that regard. I think that we've got to be open minded about it, and we intend to be." - Sandy Alderson
omg I died when he said he wished Joe Pa's balls were here wtf
lavar arrington in the background was the best part
mediocrity thy name is Wilpon- jdon (and Billy King-Paul G B)
Official Member of the "DO NOT TRADE DERRICK FAVORS" Movement
Lavar killed me when "He was doing the worm? I thought he was dead."
The tone was perfect.
by DogDaysofSummer on Nov 17, 2010 1:30 AM EST up reply actions
When that was over I laughed hysterically
I couldn’t do it while it played because even though it happened hours ago and hundreds of miles away, I just didn’t want to disrespect the guy by laughing in the middle of it. Jesus Christ that man was angry.
well I mean imagine if we had to live through the last ten years
except remove 2000, 2001 and 2006, and add in cowboys fans and oliver perez doing the worm after giving up 5 runs in .2 innings.
i’d be angry too
really if you just added in cowboys fans it would put me over the top.
mediocrity thy name is Wilpon- jdon (and Billy King-Paul G B)
Official Member of the "DO NOT TRADE DERRICK FAVORS" Movement
Oh no, I completely understand
It’s just really really funny. I just felt so bad for him that I couldn’t laugh during it.
LOL, what a jackass
Whine about how poorly the team is run…and continue to spend money on the team. Makes sense.
Wasn't there an episode of "Benson" that had a scenario similar to Eric's?
I vaguely recall a robot that started doing the staff’s work and even went so far as to say the State doesn’t really need a governor, just a computer.
by Nomenclaturist on Nov 16, 2010 10:24 PM EST reply actions
I think you might be thinking of Small Wonder....
Vicki for manager!
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 10:39 PM EST up reply actions
Nope.
Definitely an episode of “Benson”. Found a synopsis:
http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/benson-1983/episode-2-season-5/human-element/100055
I remember a line where the robot is describing various jobs and how their primary function is computational analysis.
by Nomenclaturist on Nov 16, 2010 10:55 PM EST up reply actions
this final group does not do it for me at all
I guess Hale by default but really I would take the computer.
If we replace the 'e' in Hale with 9000
…nerdgasm?
"..."
by Thaddeus Ballpheasant on Nov 16, 2010 10:34 PM EST up reply actions
Nerdgasm indeed....
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 16, 2010 10:39 PM EST up reply actions
I don't really care at all
Backman minus stupid bunting could be interesting. Collins, Hale. I guess if I had to say no to one of them it would be Melvin.
I lobby Brian Bannister for player-manager!
he’s both dexterous and Poin-dextrerous!
by secret defense on Nov 17, 2010 12:33 AM EST reply actions
My cowardly position has been that
I will accept any choice they make because it will be a sane, reasoned selection. I have nothing against any of the candidates. I did not think Backman or Hale would get it, because I thought they would want to make their first choice a safe one, and there was an experience factor in the mix. But the fact that Hale is even in the finals leads me to think he might get it, whereas I think they are including Backman to appease fans a bit. And Hale has been my secret favorite from the start. He always seemed like the best prepared of the mets coaches last year, and he was a fine third base coach, which tells me he can think on his feet a little. I actually saw a feature they did on him where he was sitting in front of a computer and apparently using it.That really encouraged me,
He uses a computer to watch video of RFers throws
and to positioning create cheat-sheets for the infielders.
Save Jenrry Mejia!
In lobby for Chip Hale as Mets 2011 Manager.
It's a trick
Chip Hale is a computer
You don't cheer for the Mets. You drink for the Mets.
Of Course!
That’s why he calls hhimself “Chip”!!
This
We need to add a “long process” box to the “good process/bad process” matrix. On the other hand, I think some of the delay might have had something to do with Sandy’s dad’s death a few days ago, and under the circumstances I think we can all forgive that delay.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Nov 17, 2010 12:36 PM EST up reply actions
Also
you have to remember these guys are all over the country
Save Jenrry Mejia!
In lobby for Chip Hale as Mets 2011 Manager.
Some even out of it (Oberkfell for instance)
Save Jenrry Mejia!
In lobby for Chip Hale as Mets 2011 Manager.
There might be internal politics at play
If the Wilpons want Wally, and Sandy doesn’t, the process needs to be played out.
"We have gotten to the point where not only big market clubs are going over slot, but small market clubs are going over slot, and they see it as a competitive advantage. I don’t think we can be left behind in that regard. I think that we've got to be open minded about it, and we intend to be." - Sandy Alderson
I actually think that Sandy
could take a shit on Fred’s desk and get away with it now. He has that much executive capital waorking for him. if he wanted Backman, he could hire him and not worry about anyone thinking the Wilpons made the call.
That might very well be true
but why spend the capital if you don’t have to?
"We have gotten to the point where not only big market clubs are going over slot, but small market clubs are going over slot, and they see it as a competitive advantage. I don’t think we can be left behind in that regard. I think that we've got to be open minded about it, and we intend to be." - Sandy Alderson
Part of the issue is that this wasn't ONLY a manager hiring process
I think Sandy was using the opportunity to get to know a lot of the key people in the organization, so he cast a wide net.
by Nomenclaturist on Nov 17, 2010 7:09 PM EST up reply actions
You may want it done with
But I have every confidence that Sandy can think about more than one thing at once. I would much rather he consider candidates in a reasoned process, one task among many that he’s got to think about. What’s the rush? Sandy decides how the team will be built, the manager just needs to get ready for spring training.
Right, but if Alderson is basically going to use the manager as a puppet for his own philosophies
Why the need for 10,000 interviews?
There is no hope.... there is no future....there is only GRISSIONZ
The 2011 Mets- Rock bottom: We haven't reached it yet
Give each candidate video of 5 randomly selected games from last year
and ask them to critique the game management – lineup, situational hitting, bullpen use, etc. The one with the least retarded critiques gets the job.
Internet and cable news are sometimes a bad thing
I can’t imagine 15 years ago people having problems with a team taking 2 weeks to hire a manager. Especially since the GM’s dad died in the middle of it. Even a robot is taking off 3 days at least for that.
i think lisa simpson tried that approach
it worked really well, except that she was a bitch about it.
I am a fan of both the mets and knicks... so just kill me now.
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