Derek Jeter Signs Contract With Yankees For Lifetime Supply of Trident Layers

THIS JUST IN: New York Yankees star shortstop, Derek Jeter, 36, has agreed in principal to sign a new contract that will keep him in pinstripes for a very long time.

Multiple reports are saying that the deal will be a perpetual lifetime contract that keeps renewing every year as long as Jeter wants to keep on playing, similar to the deal that Tim Wakefield signed with the Boston Red Sox in 2005.

The deal will see Jeter earning an unlimited of Trident Layers each year. If Jeter wants to keep playing Major League Baseball, his contract allows him to come back each year to play for the Yankees for the same salary.

This  turns out to be a pretty good deal for the Yankees. Instead of paying Jeter his full salary, they will only have to pay the cost of half the Trident Layers Jeter earns. The other half is being supplied by Trident. In return, Jeter has agreed to be the new spokesman for Trident.

A pack of Trident Layers at most stores cost about $1.30. Each pack weighs about 7.5 ounces, so a ton of Trident Layers will be 15,000 pack of gum. When you do the math, a ton of Trident Layers will cost you about $19,500. Consider the Major League minimum salary is $400,000, the Yankees make out like bandits here.

During the 2010 offseason, Major League teams paid about $4.5 million on average for each WAR. According the FanGraphs, Jeter's 2010 WAR was 2.5. So using the average, Jeter earned himself $11.25 million. Add on the special value that Jeter has the franchise in tickets sales, jersey sales, and television viewers, and Jeter is worth a lot of money to the Yankees.

Earlier in the week, the Yankees reportedly offered Jeter a 3 year, $45 million contract worth $15 million a year. Jeter's agent Casey Close rejected the offer and the Yankees told Jeter to test the open market if he thought he could find a better offer. "We understand his contributions to the franchise and our offer has taken them into account," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman.  "We've encouraged him to test the market and see if there's something he would prefer other than this. If he can, fine. That's the way it works."

However, after many negative comments from fans urging the Yankees to resign Jeter, GM Brian Cashman came up with the brilliant idea to pay Jeter in Trident Layers. "I was reviewing the team's projected payroll for the 2011 season," said Cashman, "and if we want to sign Cliff Lee then we are going to need to be creative in our other areas of the team. Sure, we are the Yankees, but we don't have an unlimited amount of money, after all."

Jeter was very excited the recieve the offer. "I couldn't believe the Yankees were willing to pay me this much," he said. "I knew they wanted me to come back, and I knew I wanted to come back, so it really was important for us to agree to something. I always said I wanted to finish my career in Yankees pinstripes, and now that dream is a reality."

This article is completely fictitious. Derek Jeter did not sign a contract with the Yankees for Trident Layers and he is not the spokesman for Trident. All information used in this article is made up and should not be taken seriously.