Tonight TBS was kind enough to show the Seinfeld Festivus episode. As I watched I took some notes once it became clear that Festivus was pretty clearly a Mets fan holiday, if for nothing more than its origin in Queens. For such a diverse team and fanbase, the quest to be inclusive may have found a reason for celebration that can include everyone from the Wilpons, to R.A. Dickey, to whoever in the clubhouse is being failed by Jobu at any particular moment. Looking a little more closely, however, there were a number of features that seemed particularly appropriate for Mets fans, and moreso to many of those who regularly visit AA. So here's a brief list of the reasons why Metsivus may be the answer to the holiday season, as guided by the principles underlying Festivus. In reality, we celebrate Metsivus year-round.
2. The Unadorned Pole. The Festivus Pole is unadorned, to save everyone the trouble of decorating. The converse of this is that it is a holiday marker perfectly capable of being ignored. Whereas in Judaism you gather around the menorah while it is lit, and in Christianity the Christmas tree is decorated by the family together (in each case, at least in theory), Festivus allows you to ignore a pole. We have two poles perfectly suited for the Metsivus task: those poles that are ignored when we are happiest that reside down the Citi Field foul lines.
3. Exile from Bayside. George Costanza claims that persecution due to his belief in Festivus led to his family's exile from Bayside. A strange corollary to the expulsion of the small business owners, petty criminals, and that one guy who lives there from Willets Point.
4. The Expressions of Disappointment. Similar to the Airing of Grievances, the Expressions of Disappointment are a magical time when you gather the family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you in the past year. Assuming that the Mets and their fans are a family of sorts, I present Amazin Avenue, Ladies and Gentlemen.
5. The Feats of Strength. With the hallowed call of "Let's Rumble," Fesitvus dinner evolves to the Feats of Strength, in this case a fight first challenged against an acquaintance, and failing that, against family members (usually father and son). We thus have our patron saints of Metsivus, Tony Bernazard and Francisco Rodriguez. Rather than criticizing their show of religious fervor, we should celebrate it.
I know that there are a number of Seinfeld fans in our midst, so any other suggestions are welcome.