Meet the Met
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 12:35 PM EST
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I have a weird confession: Sometimes I imagine I'm the Bill James of fine art criticism. Bill worked as a boiler-room attendant at a factory in Lawrence, Kansas. Old box scores were his only companions, and after months of whisperings between them and Bill, he came to think of baseball in new terms. Had Bill James had anyone to talk to, things probably would have been different.
Me, I'm a security guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. All day long I stand in galleries and think my lonesome thoughts. I don't read boxscores, but the Museum is itself a sort of boxscore: a two-million object shorthand account of man's yearning for beauty over forty centuries. It's the nature of my job that I pay closer and longer attention than any curator, any art historian, in any office. My question is this. What can I -- an outsider -- achieve with my hours? Who knows, but anyway it's a lot of fun to have a go.
That's all for philosophizing. Meet the Met:
Stop by sometime, and
This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.
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Nice work and Rec'd
I do have an issue with a Jackson Pollack painting next to LOLlie. The painting has great value while “the next Sandy Koufax” has negative value.
"The Mets are gonna be amazing!" - Casey Stengel
it was an evocation of ollie's inner state
Me and Pollock are boys.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 9:43 AM EST up reply actions
Damn, I love this blog
I can’t believe I’ve only been here 6 months. You people are all insane geniuses. I feel so at home.
by CTRefJay on Dec 16, 2010 11:28 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
You've only been on for 6 months?
I thought you were a regular long before I arrived. Wow.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 17, 2010 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
oh god thats a reccin
In Soviet Russia, Nets Cheer For You!
by NetsMets4Life on Dec 16, 2010 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
I think this picture warrants a separate FanShot, for ease of linking
This is absolutely wonderful.
For the last two days at work,
I have been unable to view this. I forgot last night but I saw it tonight. It was so worth it.
Carter, hand me my thinking grenades!
Cannot rec this any harder.
Excellent work.
We've got ourselves a ball club, the Mets of New York town!
I rec'd this so hard
that my girlfriend got jealous
"..."
by Thaddeus Ballpheasant on Dec 16, 2010 7:48 PM EST up reply actions
This is my favorite FanPost in a long time
Would it be possible, though, to request captions? Some of these really make me want to look at the art more, but it’s been a long time since Art History 101 and I’m failing this identification quiz pretty hard. And it’s surprisingly hard to Google stuff like this — “Renaissance insane mustache guy”? “running dudes on amphora”?
The Reyes amphora, in particular, is just perfect — it really captures how classically athletic the whole “most exciting player in baseball” shtick is, how much it’s just about admiring his feats (and feets) of speed and dexterity.
Thanks a lot, man
I don’t have time to look up proper citations right now but here’s quick key.
Beltran = Roman Hercules, 1st Century
Agbayani = Nicholas Poussin’s “Abduction of the Sabine Women,” 17th c. French
Ike = An oceanic totem pole, 19th or 20th c., not sure from where just now.
Reyes = like you say, a Greek amphora, almost certainly 6th c. B.C., don’t have the exact reference. Scholars hilariously give various Greek painters names that have to do with their style. My favorite is a painter called “Elbows Out.”
Philly crowd = Jan Van Eyck’s beyond belief “Crucifixion and Last Judgment,” early 15th c. Netherlandish
Dykstra Ring = a medieval gold relic holder, not sure just now of what or where, probably 14th or 15th c. In one of our relic holders we have the Magdalen’s tooth. Yeah right, but it is a tooth.
Wright = A painting of a Samurai from the Edo Period, 17th c. This was actually a part of our “Art of the Samurai” show (mind-boggling stuff, it included 900-year-old steel blade after 900-year-old steel blade with captions like, “This is generally considered the greatest Japanese sword ever produced.”) But this scroll painting is the only thing about not actually part of the Met’s permanent collection.
Dickey = gosh I’m embarrassed but I can’t remember and it’s indeed hard to google. It’s early 17th c. Italian baroque and I’ll check.
Ollie = Jackson Pollock’s “Autumn Rhythm,” mid 20th c.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
shake shack = the Temple of Dendur, 1st c. B.C. Egyptian
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 12:51 PM EST up reply actions
Dickey is Dutch, I think.
“Il Bamboccio.” Too bad that nickname’s already pretty much taken.
by pologroundling on Dec 16, 2010 5:40 PM EST up reply actions
What do you know, thanks!
He must have hung out in Italy to get that nickname and paint like that. I hope everyone notices the devil beckoning at right.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 5:45 PM EST up reply actions
This is so cool
"The lesson behind Moneyball is that if you are clever in your use of resources, you can gain power beyond your station. It is not, never has been, and never will be, that 'computer models' should take over the world." - Graham
this disturbs and delights
but why doesn’t that last picture of Kevin McReynolds (“thanks for coming”) have a comparable piece of art?
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
This German painting of Christ's Ascension has always made me laugh
Caption: “Thanks for coming!”
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 1:28 PM EST up reply actions
Are you sure that its not the first painting of a basketball game?
Great vertical leap!
"The Mets are gonna be amazing!" - Casey Stengel
Jesus had ups
"It’s like being in love with an alcoholic. It’s like, you constantly defend her, and people are like, ‘Dude, your alcoholic friend is a mess,’ and you’re like, ‘Nah, you don’t know her like I do."- Jim Breuer
by spaceboy761 on Dec 16, 2010 2:49 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Actually, this is Jesus leaping off stage, about to bodysurf the mosh pit.
“HELLO, CANAAN!!!! ARE U READY 2 ROCK?!?!?!”
Jesus and David Lee Roth
Both Jewish.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 4:10 PM EST up reply actions
Put them together...
What a funky, badass Jew.
(I couldn’t resist the Chanukah Song reference)
"The '69 Mets will live on forever. But do you think anybody cares about Ron Swoboda's wife and kids? Not me! And I assume not Ron Swoboda" --Homer Simpson
Seriously... Jesus could jump out of the gym
He was like the Jewish Kofi Kingston if you think about it.
"It’s like being in love with an alcoholic. It’s like, you constantly defend her, and people are like, ‘Dude, your alcoholic friend is a mess,’ and you’re like, ‘Nah, you don’t know her like I do."- Jim Breuer
Nice
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 16, 2010 1:26 PM EST reply actions
Thanks for sharing
This is by far one of my favorite Fanposts.
Thanks for that, Sam
AA and LL are the two baseball blogs I follow purely for the awesomeness of the community. I hadn’t seen that FanPost before.
by pkyankeefan on Dec 16, 2010 3:05 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
This is just ridiculously awesome
by pkyankeefan on Dec 16, 2010 2:55 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Wow, just wow.
This is really incredible Rec’d and probably deserves more than that.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
shouldn't Reyes be more akin to Hermes?
or is that vase a painting of Hermes? (sorry, my Art History is a tad rusty
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
Looks Minoan (or at least Cretin) to me
Didn’t that predate the Greek gods? I’m likely wrong on all fronts, but yeah…
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 6:04 PM EST up reply actions
yeah, no
i’ll look up the exact info on the floor tomorrow but it’s almost certainly 6th century greek from the looks of it. a bunch of naked dudes having a footrace, a most common sight in classical times.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 6:06 PM EST up reply actions
As I hit Post
I said to myself, “they ain’t jumping over cows”…
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
heh Mookie
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Dec 16, 2010 6:10 PM EST up reply actions
Also doubtful that anything Minoan would have survived in such good shape.
With the tsunami and the systematic destruction of all things Minoan afterwards (I know next to nothing about art but studied archaeology)…
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 6:15 PM EST up reply actions
here it is
this picture is nicer too.
Panathenaic amphora, ca. 530 B.C.; Archaic
Attributed to the Euphiletos Painter
Greek, Attic
Terracotta
In case anyone’s wondering why I can’t recall the origins of some of this stuff, there’s SO MUCH at the Museum and I put together some of these MSPaintz a long time ago.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 6:15 PM EST up reply actions
cool, I thought it was an amphora!
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Dec 16, 2010 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
one of my (many) favorite things
is a collection of giant amphorae used by the Romans for transporting wine and olive oil throughout the empire. Not so much pretty but really fires the imagination about the Empire. This one was found in a wreched ship along with 1,500 others just like it carrying wine.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 6:29 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, we blame you for not being able to recite the precise history of every piece in the museum
On sight. Seriously man, you need to work harder at that.
And amphorae make no sense to me: pointy bottoms and liquid storage seem weird.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 6:59 PM EST up reply actions
It was so you could set down the base in a sort of hollow cylinder holder
and still tip and pour. Clever! I’m pretty sure they stacked them flat in transport but god knows how that worked. Christian slaves had to figure it out.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 7:31 PM EST up reply actions
They stacked them upright in transport when full
In racks. They also were apparently loaded onto the ship in some sort of multi-amphora rack thing.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 10:35 PM EST up reply actions
I bet the Roman delivery guys
threw them round without a care for their fragility and occasionally drained one during their lunch break. If my years as a delivery driver are anything to go by anyway…
by deadspy3 on Dec 17, 2010 4:06 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I believe the vase is Greek, but I was just referring to Hermes/Mars
because it seems more appropriate to Reyes :).
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
This is spectacular.
I haven’t been to the Met since I was a kid, and I’m almost positive I hated it because what kid likes museums? Great art compared to out Mets. Brilliant.
The Museum of Natural History was awesome as a kid.
What 3-15 year old doesn’t love the blue whale?
Save Jenrry Mejia!
I remember that!
Yeah, but the musuem of natural history is the only cool musuem for kids. My favorite room was the hall of dinosaurs
So was everyone's
How I’d be so more appreciative of those field trips now as opposed to when I was 8, 9, 10, etc.
We get asked for the dinosaurs constantly
“Across the park, sir.”
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 9:05 PM EST up reply actions
Argh!
I’d like to think it’s all tourists, but I know that’s not true.
by pologroundling on Dec 16, 2010 9:59 PM EST up reply actions
but one of the job's charms
is talking to people who have never before step foot in an art museum, who ask for the Mona Lisa and want to know if things are actually “real.” These visitors are frequently some of the nicest people and you can play teacher for a few minutes and blow some minds.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 11:35 PM EST up reply actions
Isn't the Mona Lisa at the Louvre?
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 16, 2010 11:37 PM EST up reply actions
Yep
People are downright flumoxed when you tell them we don’t have any Leonardo Da Vinci paintings. For them it’s be like going to Cooperstown, asking for the Babe Ruth stuff, and hearing, “nope, none of that.” They do think of the Met as sort of an Art Hall of Fame, and just expect the Mona Lisa to be there. I’ve also been asked for the Leonardo Di Caprios.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 11:41 PM EST up reply actions
Then there's the flip side
The people who can hardly BELIEVE that this is a real Picasso right in front of them. It was just never on their radar that that is something available for them to see. Had they ever thought of it, they’d probably have guessed Picassos and Rembrandts locked away in rich people’s studies. Like I say, it’s a cool thing to witness and explain.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 11:45 PM EST up reply actions
I stopped by an acquaintances' house the other day
To drop off some stuff for a charity thing we both work on. As I entered I noticed that he lives in a palatial beachfront house, but more than that there’s a Picasso sitting in the living room. And not a sketch, print, or one of his earlier works from before he began pushing the envelope, but a full on, big, painted, and very cubist one. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. But yeah, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen one outside of a museum setting.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 17, 2010 12:05 AM EST up reply actions
Do people talk to you a lot?
I never ask questions of guards. I guess I just feel like I’d be annoying them, or something.
Another question
Did you study art, have you been an art aficionado for a long time, or do you know this stuff just from time spent observing the museum galleries? Either way it’s pretty damn impressive.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 17, 2010 12:14 AM EST up reply actions
Also, welcome to the winner's podium.
I should unrec this so my post keeps the rec’ord for the time being (we’re tied), but I won’t.
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 17, 2010 12:15 AM EST up reply actions
I took 3 college classes
But after college I started reading a lot about art and going to museums more, and then I started volunteering to give tours at the Brooklyn Museum. The Met job came after a family tragedy when I decided I couldn’t possibly deal with any bullshit in self-important offices. Since I’ve focussed pretty squarely on art, baseball, and family and it’s working out for now.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 9:38 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah, people talk to us
kids with homework assignments, for one. Also people who come to the Museum alone, see something unbelievable, and just have to say something out loud. There are also about a dozen or so regulars who come at least once a week. I got a Christmas card from one.
It’s probably about .3% of people who actually strike up a conversation, but considering the volume of visitors…
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 9:25 AM EST up reply actions
You can regulate the flow via your visage
And if you happen to be tired or lost in thought nobody asks you for anything but the bathroom. Certainly it’s mostly a quiet job.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 9:43 AM EST up reply actions
lol I was a weird kid. I loved the hall of gems? (I think, or ...
that other stuff more than the dinosaurs :).
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Dec 17, 2010 8:49 AM EST up reply actions
I actually used to be afraid of that thing
I refused to look up at the ceiling. Yeah, I was a strange kid.
I'm very partial to the Oceania stuff.
I like the idea that THIS VERY CANOE! was used for headhunting raids.
by pologroundling on Dec 16, 2010 10:00 PM EST up reply actions
Michael Rockefeller, who collected all that stuff, was himself killed
or, rather, vanished without a trace.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 10:12 PM EST up reply actions
yeah I always loved the arms and armor too. I visited a lot of that stuff in the European museums
what better place to see “real” arms and armor except in old Europe?
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Dec 17, 2010 8:50 AM EST up reply actions
Love the armor, but I also love the asian stuff
Especially the Chinese landscape scrolls, so awesome
"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage
by blueandorange4life on Dec 20, 2010 10:09 PM EST up reply actions
letsgocyclones, leet me ask you a question...
Have you ever gone to a Mets game in Boston? I was at the Met back at the beginning of October (average height guy with brown hair, was with a tall woman with curly blondish hair) and had a conversation about the Mets with a security guard (can’t honestly remember how it came up) which somehow pertained to Boston, I think? It was a weird weekend, and I don’t remember exactly the details of the conversation, but it would be quite cool if that conversation had been with you.
Um, dunno!
I’m 27, blonde, a little bit short. I call out people on their Mets gear from time to time. Always on Cyclones gear.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 16, 2010 10:40 PM EST up reply actions
Great Connections
Have been a big fan of the Mets since ’62 (was a lot, lot younger then) and a big fan of the Met (been there so many times). Really a great job linking classic art to contemporary sports. Will never look at a Pollack the same way again because now it finally makes sense.
I am not exaggerating when I say
that this is my favorite FanPost ever and is up there with the most entertaining Mets-related things I’ve ever seen. It’s fantastic. I hope that something picks this up, like ESPN Magazine.
Also, I want more. You have to do more now.
I was gonna go to the Met the other week with my girlfriend, but I was too lazy, and woke up too late.
I had like a list of a million different things I wanted to see. Tell me, is the Kublai Khan exibit thing worth seeing before it ends?
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 17, 2010 1:50 PM EST reply actions
I think so
The title’s a bit deceiving. Don’t expect it to be terribly focussed on Kublai and the Mongols as much as the 13th and 14th century Yuan Dynasty in China. But if you’re into Chinese art there’s a lot of very important stuff that was quite a coup for the Met to pry out of China. It’s a big, stunning show for sure, monumental sculptures, scroll paintings, caligraphy, bits of architecture, the works.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 3:10 PM EST up reply actions
Damn, and I was looking specifically for a focus on Kublai and the Mongols...
The Mongols themselves were never very much into showy art or artifacts over utilitarian stuff, anyway…
Can’t stand the Yuan Dynasty; the source of so much sociopolitical bullshit that China has pulled over the years.
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 19, 2010 5:51 PM EST up reply actions
Khan Exhibit
I saw it and I loved it. You should take your girlfriend. Really amazing stuff when you consider that most of it is over 1,000 years old
KKKKKKKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
by MookieTheCat on Dec 17, 2010 10:40 PM EST up reply actions
Into Star Trek Too?
Pretty amazing when you think that all of the Bridge scenes were shot on one set where all they did was rotate the props and the actors depending on whose ship was supposed to be depicted.
And I pass the rec crown to you.
I still have it for FanShots, but in the spirit of this page here is a historical crown. Can you tell me what it is?
It's a triumph of number crunching over the human spirit...aaaaaand, it’s about time. -- Play-by-Play Announcer, The Simpsons.
21st century Brooklyn
belongs to King Henry, the Cyclones’ second worst mascot.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 3:11 PM EST up reply actions
I wish that would get rid of the mascots and the Beach Bums
Kyle the unicycling peanut vendor can stay. In fact, he probably deserves a raise.
"The Mets are gonna be amazing!" - Casey Stengel
Pee-Wee too is phenomenal
I hung out with Kyle’s mom once.
by Pack Bringley on Dec 17, 2010 4:48 PM EST up reply actions
They can keep the Beach Bums.
And Sandy and Pee-Wee, just because giant stuffed/inflatable seagulls are awesome. And Kyle. But King Henry, fuck him, get him outta there.
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 19, 2010 5:53 PM EST up reply actions
I wouldn't mind the Beach Bums if they wee less obtrusive
I was at a Cyclones game where I sat behind the 1B dugout, while they were on top of the dugout. They were very annoying.
"The Mets are gonna be amazing!" - Casey Stengel
Generally speaking, I approve of activities that involve women aged 20-30 wearing short shorts.
I can see the annoyance factor, however.
"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.
AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)
by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Dec 19, 2010 7:25 PM EST up reply actions
This pretty much made my day. Excellent.
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Dec 17, 2010 4:57 PM EST reply actions
This is really fantastic, rec'd
The Met might be my favorite museum in New York, thank you for combining two of my favorite NY things
"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage
by blueandorange4life on Dec 18, 2010 2:04 PM EST reply actions
Random lulz.
Fifth comparison down has “Padres put Chris Young on 15 day DL (Shoulder)” scrolling at the bottom. lol
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