via 2.bp.blogspot.com

The title explains it all: What Would Jeff Do? And by Jeff, I mean "THE DUDE," Jeff Lebowski, pictured above (left, right, top, bottom, and center).

I have made many attempts to channel The Dude's wisdom. I climbed various mountains, adopted various religions (many of which I didn't know existed), killed many men, women and children, and even made forays into Nihilism (too exhausting for my taste). Nothing has worked thus far, and I may not try for a long time. It seems as though The Dude can only be found in the cinema of the late-90s, with some traces left in Obadiah Staine, former business partner of the great Tony Stark.

That being said, I can always find refuge and peace of mind in trying to hypothetically fix my favorite baseball team, the New York 'Ropolitans. I'm not going to make lengthy explanations, just gonna say some transactions. No worries, I'll make my case in the comments section as you all question my brilliance.

1. Tender Angel Pagan a contract, I'd imagine it will end up at around 1-year, $5 million. After next year they can work on signing him to a 2-3 year contract. Tender Pelfrey a contract also, at 1-year, $4.25 million. After this, make R.A. Dickey a new contract offer: 2 years, $3 million in the first and $5 million in the second, with a club option for $7 million in the third with a $500,000 buyout. Tender Sean Green a countract at 1 year and $1 million. Nontender John Maine.

2. Trade Luis Castillo and $4 million to the White Sox for Alejandro De Aza.

3. Trade Oliver Perez, Zach Lutz and $10 million to the Cardinals for Mitch Boggs and Peter Kozma

4. Defer $5.5 million of Carlos Beltran's 2010 to 2011 and 2012, paying the interest.

5. Trade Lucas Duda, Jefry Marte and Eric Niesen for David Aardsma and Dan Cortes, tender Aardsma a contract for 1 year, $3.8 million.

6. Sign Kevin Millwood to 1-year deal with a base salary of $5 million, with easily-attainable incentives worth $1.0 million and more difficult ones worth an additional $2.0 million in total. Club option worth $8 million as well

7. Sign Aaron Harang to deal identical to that of Millwood.

8. Sign Koji Uehara to 1-year, $4 million deal

9. Sign Jason Varitek to 1-year $1 million deal

10. Sign Tony Gwynn to 1-year, $1 million deal

11. Sign Jose Lopez to 1-year, $3.5 million deal with club option for $5 million in 2012

25-man roster:

Starting Rotation:

RHP R.A. Dickey ($3 million)

RHP Mike Pelfrey ($4.25 million)

LHP Jonathon Niese (~$0.44 million)

RHP Kevin Millwood ($5-8 million)

RHP Aaron Harang ($5-8 million)

Other Pitching:

RHP Francisco Rodriguez ($11.5 million)

RHP David Aardsma ($3.8 million)

RHP Bobby Parnell (~$0.44 million)

RHP Mitch Boggs (~$0.44 million)

RHP Sean Green ($1 million)

LHP Mike O'Connor (~$0.44 million)

RHP Koji Uehara ($4 million)

Catchers:

C Josh Thole  (~$0.44 million)

C Jason Varitek ($1 million)

Infielders:

1B Ike Davis (~$0.44 million)

IF Daniel Murphy (~$0.44 million)

IF Justin Turner (~$0.44 million)

IF Jose Lopez ($3 million)

SS Jose Reyes ($11 million)

3B David Wright ($14 million)

Outfielders:

OF Angel Pagan ($5 million)

OF Carlos Beltan ($13 million)

OF Jason Bay ($16 million)

IF/OF Nick Evans (~$0.44 million)

OF Tony Gwynn ($1.0 million)

Other notables:

LHP Johan Santana ($22.5 million) (Disabled List)

RHP Ryota Igarashi ($1.75 million) (AAA)

LHP Dan Cortes (AAA)

MI Ruben Tejada (AAA)

RHP Dillon Gee (AAA)

LHP Pat Misch (AAA)

OF Jesus Feliciano (AAA)

RHP Jenrry Mejia (AAA)

OF Jesus Feliciano (AAA)

Now I did the crude math and I believe that adds to around $135 million, but I'm not completely sure. Second base would be an open competition between Daniel Murphy, Jose Lopez and Justin Turner, with Ruben Tejada and Reese Havens as darkhorses.