FanPost

AAOP: Only One Team Should Have All That Power

It's time for John K's annual AAOP submission, guaranteed to be better than anything James K comes up with. Click here for last year's brilliant plan.

Note: Keep in mind I created this before today's real world events.

AAOP, in Kanye form

Click play on the embedded Kanye West video (language NSFW) and read my plan along with it. Language in plan is also NSFW:

Kanye West - Power (featuring Dwele) (Music Video) (via TheThanatosFilms)

My payroll is about 150
Doin' something big with it
Do it better than even Sandy A., JP and Depo do it
Dingers from the hitters, strikeouts from the pitchers
I'm thinkin' Metsies gonna win it all this year

Only one team should have all that power
We hittin' homers, we shuttin' up the doubters
You ain't trippin', we better than Joe Mauer
2011 champyuns

System broken, Ollie and Luis - exit door is open
Omar out of the picture, ma'fucka we rollin'
Yeah! Ma'fucka we rollin'
Add a Ruthian slugger but no Aaron Rowands
Need some strikeout pitchers, plus a glove to help'em
So goodbye Kirk and Pelf, we got McDonald, Janssen, Marcum
Huh? Yeah that's McDonald, Janssen, Marcum
Rush sucks, but thank you Canada you awesome

Only one team should have all that power
We hittin' homers, we shuttin' up the doubters
You ain't trippin', we better than Joe Mauer
We the shit, fuck that, World Series ours!

And then the (Johan)
And then the
And then the (Bedard)
And then the
And then the (Johan)
And then the (2011 champyuns)

Fuck the Phils now they had they fun
Tell ‘em we gon' go out and sign Adam Dunn
Trade Ike? Y'all prob think that I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole? We gettin' James Shields
You haters gon' complain but we a better team
Our James is Big Game, and, he dominates the league
Don't need defense, he put batters in the past tense
We know, he so, fuckin' gifted
I just need a gritty catcher, some walks and homers
Got Gregg Zaun in mind, he switch hits and got PED treasures
Now the controversy, here it is, my honesty
Is honestly, being tested by Manny's clubhouse tumors
Reality might be killin' me
But the four man outfield, I'm fighting for it, YOU'VE GOT MANNY

With these responsibilities that you entrusted me
At least we've still got Mr. Robert Allen Dickey

Thinkin' only one team should have all that power
We hittin' homers, we shuttin' up the doubters
You ain't trippin', we better than Joe Mauer
We the shit, fuck that, World Series ours!

And then the (Johan)
And then the
And then the (Bedard)
And then the
And then the (Johan)
And then the (2011 champyuns)

Carl Crawford? Madoff stole our horde
You're a constipation if you call us "Mets Nation"
They say Dunn is the abomination of FanGraphs-cination
Well that's a pretty good way to #6org the conversation
At the end of the day, J-Turner can play second base
And D-Wise runnin' all over the place
Ask Mark Buerhle - he's not perfect without ‘the catch'
Wise is no Endy, but their D: can you tell the difference?
How the ‘pen doin'? Signin' Dotel
Our lefty is O'Connor, he's used to motel
Where's that mothafucka K-Rod? He still fightin'?
We got the power, make all the fans delightin'

Now this'll be a beautiful year
Hittin' tons of longballs
Three true outcome heroes
Pitchers who are gonna mow

Now this'll be a beautiful year
Hittin' tons of longballs
Three true outcome heroes
Pitchers who are gonna mow

We got the power now let's fuckin go

 

AAOP, in spreadsheet form

Power_medium

 

AAOP, in MS Paint form

Mets_retired_numbers_medium

This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

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