Transcript Of The 90-Minute Closed-Door Meeting Of Mets Management

Jeff Wilpon and Omar Minaya flew to Atlanta today to hold a closed-door meeting with the coaching staff. Through my extensive inside connections, I was able to record and transcribe the proceedings, reproduced below.

Jeff Wilpon: Here are your grade point averages. Mr. Minaya: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Omar. You're at the top of the Mets organization. Mr. Warthen?

Warthen: [drunk] Hello!

Jeff Wilpon: 0.2... Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Johnson, hitting coach? 1.6; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Razor Shines... HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Man...

[sees Jerry with a pair of pencils in his nostrils]

Jeff Wilpon: MR. MANUEL... ZERO POINT ZERO.

Omar Minaya: Are we fired?

Jeff Wilpon. No, not yet. You're all on probation. 

Jerry Manuel: But we're already on probation from last season. 

Jeff Wilpon: You are? Well, as of this moment, you're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Amazin' Avenue

You must be a member of Amazin' Avenue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Amazin' Avenue. You should read them.

Join Amazin' Avenue

You must be a member of Amazin' Avenue to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Amazin' Avenue. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker