Totally Heterosexual Caption Contest
by Eric Simon on May 3, 2010 5:11 PM EDT
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Got a couple of hours to kill before game time and someone just brought this totally awesome SI cover photo to my attention. I'm not sure if I have anything to give away, but this should be fun regardless. Caption it!
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No, no, Alex, that centaur painting does NOT make you look like a complete douche.....SIKE!
There is no hope.... there is no future....there is only GRISSIONZ
The 2010 Mets- Hey, we may suck, but what did you expect?
Four men
63 different animal hormones. How 16 years, countless syringes, and reciprocal homoerotic gluteal massages built baseball’s least tolerable dynasty!
Pettite, Rivera and Posada watch the 4th inning of Sunday Night's Mets/Phillies game
while Derek Jeter channels Aura and Mystique for the Yankees next playoff run by watching an episode of Centerstage with Michael Kay. The sound of Kay’s voice saying “See Ya” gives Jeter a two game supply of Aura and a three game supply of Mystique.
"B*TCH T*TS!"
The Yankee core sees A-Rod in the showers.
"What is the password?"
“Fidelio”
by James Kannengieser on May 3, 2010 5:37 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Pettite, Rivera and Posada
laugh at A-Rod as he’s not one of the “core four”, while Jeter looks bemused at the centaur picture.
"We're investigating the investigative procedure of the investigation of Tony Bernazard"---Omar Minaya (he really didn't say it but he would"
Thongs
Tom Verducci finds out what’s under the pinstripes. (PAGE 31)
Mine
Derek looks back in stunned disbelief that Aura and Mystique were, in fact, tranny hookers from a sleazy South Bronx strip joint. The others laugh at him mercilessly.
Pettite, Posada, and Rivera point out where the injuries likely to end each of their careers will occur
while Jeter silently mocks their fragile mortality.
by KeithsMoustache on May 3, 2010 5:45 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Kim's Boys!
North Korea enters the World Baseball Classic.
I'm bored, so
In lobby campaign for Chris Carter.
by Michkin on May 3, 2010 5:52 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
16 years
damn… thats actually really impressive.
caption: you dont even want to know where posadas right hand is
"Jeter's out...
…I didn’t say, Simon Says cross your arms with an unearned feeling of d-bag superiority."
Your 2010 Mets, sponsored by Dick van Patten's Natural Balance Pet Foods.
A dog's breakfast for a dog's breakfast of a roster.
this is the worst cover in the history of sports illustrated
easily.
HELLO HELLO MR WILPON... BUY THAT MANSION. WE DONT NEED A CONDO.
The Captain, The Catcher, The Closer, The Cheater
How four astronomically wealthy Yankees can manage to get along, and why Israel and Palestine should listen up…
Yankees: Pride, Power, and Pinstripes
But mostly pride.
Gas prices today are a lot like a pitcher's ERA. Anything under 3 is amazing, under 4 is pretty good and anything 5 and up is something you want to avoid.
Jeter looks into the abyss known as "intangibles"
while his buddies joust for position in a game known as “hide the Bronx sausage”.
"Look at A-Rod with his name AND number on the back of his uniform! CHUMP!"
http://www.theonion.com/articles/true-yankees-regular-yankees-to-now-wear-different,17314/ in reference to this
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on May 3, 2010 6:34 PM EDT reply actions
And a douchelord shall lead them . . .
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on May 3, 2010 6:48 PM EDT reply actions
Interviewer: "So, have you guys had any work done or parts fixed?"
Posada: “Mo used last year’s salary to get a new left knee”
Petitte: “Jorge replaced his worn-out shoulder, and I got myself a better buttock”
Rivera: “And look, the three of us have beautiful new teeth”
Jeter, however, leaves no doubt that he remains as God created him, the ubermensch, and simply smiles in satisfaction with his own imperious omnipotence.
"Ubermensch" and "Jeter" in the same sentience, sends shivers down my spine.
Jesus wants to be like Ryan Miller when he grows up.
Derek Jeter: On 3.....
touch another dude. 1…2…3
Posada: Damn, Jeter, you got us again!
Four guys one cup.
"If they want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Gallego."
by Juve1899 on May 3, 2010 9:57 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Not a caption
but I love the subtle way this is trying to suggest that the return of the Yankees to the top of baseball ISN’T intrinsically tied to the wad of cash they tossed into the free agent waters, but rather their ability to foster farm league talent…during Clinton’s first term.
by Caseys Kiss of Death on May 4, 2010 12:18 AM EDT reply actions
Or, you know, the fact that Pettitte left for a while there.
"He's definitely mixing it into his repertoire. That's French for 'repertoire' " - Keith Hernandez
by Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright on May 4, 2010 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions
When it comes to paying for lunch
Jeter doesn’t get involved
"We're investigating the investigative procedure of the investigation of Tony Bernazard"---Omar Minaya (he really didn't say it but he would"
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