FanPost

The Top 50 Mets Of All Time: #31 Nick Evans

I decided to continue the Top 50 Mets Of All Time series. This edition will pay tribute to a mythical player, that some suspect may have been created as a Sidd Finch-esque prank by Omar Minaya and the Mets front office. As I knew nothing about the man, I knew I needed to do some research. My friend Wikipedia would clearly help with this huge undertaking. 

Nicholas John "Nick" Evans (born 14 August 1980 in Auckland, New Zealand) is a New Zealand rugby union footballer.

Oh that clears everything up. Nick Evans is a rugby player in New Zealand, pulling a Michael Jordan and starting a baseball career. But wait. Dare I click the "Nick Evans (disambiguation)" link at the top of the page? 

I dared, and I found out a terrible secret: Nick Evans has multiple identities, all of which share the same name. Aside from his New Zealand athletics career, he is also a Welsh trombonista retired English cricketera D or E-list actora noted novelist, and an Australian linguist.  

Then, to my shock I came across this page. Nick Evans WAS a Met, the page even gave photographic proof!

I prepared a massive exposé on Evans. This master of disguise clearly had a nefarious plot under his sleeve. Was he an international jewel thief? Did he steal Jeff Francoeur's beard? Whatever his plan was, I had to stop it.

I sent my whistle-blowing article to many major newspapers, the Times, the Washington Post, even the Enquirer, but none would bite. Finally, after 3 weeks of frantic submissions, I gave up once my piece was rejected by The Des Moines Register. Clearly I needed to do more research on Evans. 

So, with this, I headed to Glendale, Arizona, the supposed birthplace of Mr. Evans. Evans was still listed on the Mets roster, so I knew he'd be out of the picture. After some key plotline omissions (for security purposes) later, I found myself in the man himself's bedroom. I discovered a notebook, with the words MY DIARY PROPERTY OF NICK EVANS scrawled on the front. I opened up to the most recent few entries.

Nickevansdiary_medium

(Click here to embiggen.)

This Nick Evans was no jewel thief, or beard snatcher at all! He was just an oft-forgotten modest ballplayer! My suspicions were completely unfounded in the end.

So that is the story of Nick Evans, the 31st greatest player to ever put on a Mets uniform. 

P.S.- If you come across international jewel thief, beard snatcher, trombonist, cricketer, actor, novelist, and New Zealand rugby union footballer Nick Evans, contact your nearest police station.


This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

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