Marlins 7, Mets 5: I Hate Nieses To Pieces
I don't know if anyone will get the headline reference, but whatever.
I'd like to play a little game here if you'll indulge me for a moment. It's a little something I call, "You Write The Recap!". Here's how it works: You write the recap. That's it! Write a recap of this game, put it in the comments, and if it's any good I'll bump it up to the main post for all to enjoy (or not). If we only get one recap, and it's really, truly awful, too bad for us because that's what we'll use. If we get a bunch of good ones, I'll put 'em all up here.
Whee!
Update: I think we have a winner, courtesy of KeithsMoustache.
--
This is Beyond Suck, This is Beyond Baseball
We’ll start with the positive. Carlos Beltran went 3-5 with a homer and an ill advised triple. Similarly, Ike Davis went 2-4, and Duda went 1-2 with a walk and an RBI, a commendable showing in an otherwise unspectacular evening at the plate.
On the other side of the coin, Jose Reyes struck out three times out of the leadoff spot. While one of the most dynamic players in baseball on the basepaths, Jose’s value at leadoff is severely limited when he’s back in the dugout (He’s no Alex Cora, who led the league in benchWAR with the Mets). Jonathan Niese showed poor control with 6 walks, one for an RBI. Overall Niese gave up 6 earned in 5.2 innings, and is clearly well past his inning limit for the year after a limited 2009 workload. A small bright spot for Niese was his 7Ks, although eventually the batters had to get out somehow just based on law of averages. It is probably well past time to shut him down before he joins the cast of walking wounded, so I fully expect us to pitch his arm off in the weeks to follow.
Both Tejada and Reyes had errors, although Tejada’s error was on a tough-luck bounce on a backhand play. He also made a fairly spectacular throw from behind 2b on another play, which I believe was fair redemption for his earlier "error". Sean Green surprisingly managed to strike out the side, and hit a batter which I admit I enjoy watching when they’re wearing a Marlins uniform. Takahashi came in to attempt to keep the game close, but gave up 3 hits and an ultimately meaningless insurance run, giving the league a chance to see what kind of starter they’re missing out on this year. The highlight of the game probably came early, when Keith realized he had lost his wallet. Frantically searching, the crack team of sleuths in the booth managed to locate two possible locations, either on the field, or in one of the lunar seas. They later figured out the wallet was in fact hiding in his bag, before he booked a journey into space so the story had a happy ending. Gary serenaded the lucky fans with the Fordham fight song, much to the joy of deaf people everywhere who didn’t have to hear it. The three then took turns covertly mocking their sponsors.
The gamethread contained a lively debate over the existence of gravity, which Hey Arnold character best symbolized Ollie, that Dickey reproduced by budding, that kevin burkhard’s wikipedia page is way too empty, hatred of Emblem Health commercials, and that chicken beaks are a legitimate source of dietary roughage.
The final score of the game was Marlins 7, Mets 5, Mets fans 120 proof, and Marlins fans…. haha just kidding, theres no such thing.
To all you brave souls who watched this game, you chose poorly, and I commend you for that.
Poem by Howard Megdal
Season is getting late for Jon Niese
Truly it's time for his innings to cease
Beltran's defense still isn't all that
But each day brings me more hope for his bat
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NO
it is an old Hanna Barbera cartoon from the early 60’s. I forget the cat’s name who said it. But he calls mice “meeses”
Top Cat
Top Cat!
The most effectual Top Cat!
Who’s intellectual close friends get to call him T.C.
Providing it’s with dignity.
Top Cat!
The indisputable leader of the gang.
He’s the boss, he’s a pip, he’s the championship.
He’s the most tip top,
Top Cat.
Yes he’s a chief, he’s a king,
But above everything,
He’s the most tip top,
Top Cat.
Top Cat!
yes you are
not that there is anything wrong with that.
I got the refrerence also
Alas, I too am old.
"Sometimes you make a mistake and you get hit in the head." - Eli Manning
Recap
Tonight the Mets played baseball or something.
Ok.....let me try
Marlins 7, Mets 5: Do you care?
“The Mets sucked. There was no Dickey. The end”
There is no hope.... there is no future....there is only GRISSIONZ
The 2010 Mets- Hey, we may suck, but what did you expect?
Answer: nope
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Sep 23, 2010 9:25 AM EDT up reply actions
Recap
Interviewer: What’s your recap for the game?
JayWise: My recap?
Interviewer: Yes, your recap.
[JayWiselooks into camera]
JayWise: Pain!
You know what.
The recap will have to be written by someone who watched the whole game, and frankly I’m not sure I could trust someone who did that.
here's your recap
Cantu homered twice and drove in five runs and the Marlins ended one of the wilder rides in baseball history, beating the New York Mets 7-45 to snap a seven-game losing streak.
The Marlins’ skid started immediately after they’d won seven in a row. Florida became the first NL team to win at least seven straight and also lose at least seven straight in April, the Elias Sports Bureau said.
“I thought we were not going to win again until the All-Star break,” manager Fredi Gonzalez said. “It felt like that.”
Cantu hit a two-run homer in the fourth inning before lining a tiebreaking, three-run drive in the seventh.
“I hope with this win we’re going to start rolling again,” Cantu said. “We really needed to get out of this thing.”
Florida won minus All-Star shortstop Hanley Ramirez, who was hit by a pitch in the right hand the previous night. The Mets were missing first baseman Carlos Delgado and second baseman Luis Castillo, both nursing recent injuries.
Down 4-3 in the seventh, the Marlins rallied against Sean Green (0-1). Alfredo Amezaga drew a leadoff walk, Emilio Bonifacio chopped a one-out single to right and Cameron Maybin’s slow groundout scored the tying run.
After a walk to John Baker, Cantu hit his fifth homer into the left-field seats. Cantu produced the seventh multihomer game of his career.
The Marlins scored only 17 runs during their skid, so Cantu’s drives were welcome shots.
Mets manager Jerry Manuel, meanwhile, wondered where his team’s comeback spirit had gone. Five Florida relievers combined for four shutout innings.
“Three runs shouldn’t be something that’s insurmountable,” Manuel said. "It appears when we get in that position, it’s an insurmountable lead. We have to address that.
“I think our anxiety takes over at that time and gets in the way of us performing,” he said.
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
Is this what I think it is?
If so, HATE.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
what do you think it is?
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Sep 23, 2010 1:12 AM EDT up reply actions
Here's my recap:
In 1902, Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis), a mineral prospector, discovers oil and establishes a small drilling company. Following the death of one of his workers in an accident, Plainview adopts the man’s orphaned son (his mother nowhere to be found). The boy, whom he names H. W. (Dillon Freasier), becomes his nominal business “partner”.
Nine years later, Plainview is approached by Paul Sunday (Paul Dano), who tells him about the oil deposit under his family’s property in Little Boston, California. Plainview attempts to buy the farm at a bargain price but Paul’s twin brother Eli (also Dano), wise to Plainview’s plan, holds out for $10,000, wanting the money to fund the local church, of which he is the pastor. Plainview has Eli’s father agree to the bargain price instead, and goes on to snatch up the available land in the Little Boston area, except for one holdout—William Bandy (Hans Howes). Oil production begins. Later, an on-site accident kills a worker, and later still, a large explosion robs H.W. of his hearing.
One day, a visitor (Kevin J. O’Connor) arrives on Plainview’s doorstep claiming to be his half-brother, Henry, and is seeking work. Plainview takes the stranger in, and though H.W. discovers flaws in his story he keeps the news to himself; the boy then attempts to kill Henry by setting his bed linen alight. Angered at his son’s behavior, Plainview sends the boy away to a school in San Francisco. A representative from Standard Oil later offers to buy out Plainview’s local interests, but Plainview elects to strike a deal with Union Oil instead and construct a pipeline to the Californian coast, though the Bandy ranch remains an impediment. After spending more time with Henry, Plainview also becomes suspicious; Henry finally confesses that he was actually a friend of the real Henry, who has long since died from tuberculosis. Plainview kills the imposter and buries his body.
The next morning, Plainview is awakened by Mr. Bandy, who appears to be aware of the previous night’s events. Bandy agrees to Plainview’s deal but only on the provision that the latter mend his ways and join the Church of the Third Revelation, where Eli humiliates him as part of his initiation. Plainview soon reunites with H.W., and Eli eventually leaves town to perform missionary work.
In 1927, a much older H.W. (Russell Harvard) marries his childhood sweetheart, Mary Sunday (Colleen Foy). By this time his father, now an alcoholic but extremely wealthy, is living in a mansion with only a servant for company. H.W. asks his father (through an interpreter) to dissolve their partnership so he can establish his own business. Betrayed, Plainview mocks his son’s deafness and tells him of his true origins, leaving H.W. with no regrets when he finally leaves.
Some time later, Eli, now a radio host and the head of a larger church, visits Plainview, but it becomes clear that Eli is in dire financial straits and desperate, explaining that Mr. Bandy has died and that he offers to broker a deal on his land. Plainview agrees to the deal if Eli confesses, “I am a false prophet; God is a superstition”, subjecting Eli to the same humiliation Eli had put him through years earlier. Eli does so after much berating by Plainview. To Eli’s horror, Plainview scathingly reveals that he had already drained the oil from the property through surrounding wells via the process of drainage by saying, “I drink your milkshake.” Plainview suddenly goes into a rage, chases Eli about the room, and then beats him to death with a bowling pin. When Plainview’s butler comes down to check on him, Plainview simply says “I’m finished.”
all the other teams
drink the mets milkshake
I.M. Forme
"When you get yourself into trouble is when you feel you have to do something, and then you get yourself in trouble." --Omar Minaya
by itsmetsforme on Sep 23, 2010 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions
Wait a minute.
I see what you did here.
This is not a game recap at all.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions
gotta cut him some slack
he was dead for most of the game after all
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 23, 2010 12:01 AM EDT up reply actions
He's drunk from McDonalds chicken...
I get it.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 12:01 AM EDT up reply actions
he's tripping on beaks
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 23, 2010 12:02 AM EDT up reply actions
And feets.
I remember once I took a somewhat less cultured friend to dim sum in Chinatown. I made sure we had an order of chicken feet. Delicious if prepared correctly, but even if they were awful his face was worth the price of admission.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 12:05 AM EDT up reply actions
theyre really good if you get them somewhere authentic
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 23, 2010 12:14 AM EDT up reply actions
here's my try at a recap:
The Mets scored less runs than their opponents once again. The best news of tonight (and every night) is that they are yet another game closer to the end of our national nightmare. Hip hip hooray, New York Metropolitans! Your effort truly embiggens us all.
Chamption of the R.A. Dickey Face contest and "Cromulent Photoshopper Extraordinaire" of Amazin' Avenue!
Too bad I don't know what Cromulent means.
by Steve Schreiber on Sep 22, 2010 10:37 PM EDT reply actions
If there was a vote for recap
I would have voted for this one. Succint yet factual and enlightnening. Plus, I love that as an expletive.
"Sometimes you make a mistake and you get hit in the head." - Eli Manning
Here's My Recap....
I had thought of going to this game in Miami tonight, but instead I ate some steak by the ocean and then went to Home Depot to buy a urine-based iguana repellant for my garden. I came home in the 8th inning and put the game on. In a night marked by steak and a urine purchase, I feel like a trip to the Miami for the game would have been a similar experience.
Some guys hit some balls, some guys threw some balls, but frankly none of this any longer matters. There also appeared to have been more people in my livingroom than at the stadium. What does matter is that we have now been swept by the Braves and the Marlins, and have been simply ugly doing it. This was the last game I could watch this season, with no more national games nor any more Marlins games to be played. Oh, and Dan Uggla made a great play in the field to end the game. I may move to Africa before the start of next season for a two year stint in the Peace Corps, so that stab by Uggla might very much be the last play of a Mets game I am able to see until 2013. If the Mayan calendar proves true, it could be my last, period. In the words of Kurt Vonnegut explaining the state of failed science fiction writer Kilgore Trout, so it goes.
This season has been in my mind a series of failures that have been made somewhat more manageable by the humor inherent in Mets fans, and especially those around here. So thanks to all y’all, for inserting terms like grission and false hustle into my daily lexicon, at least until I forget that most people have no idea whatsoever what those terms mean, and that I tend to confuse them. Being a Mets fan is easy in the rare instances when they are good and the many instances where they are terrible. This year was the worst kind of year: where flashes of competence have obscured their failings for a time, and the graphed fan confidence poll rises like the back of a birthing elephant only to plop out a calf and in a mire of placental blood leaves the fans to find a life-giving teat of hope on their own.
So for this team I offer only the following eulogy, and I assure you that I know what a eugoogly is, and that I am a qualified eugoogolizer: these were men who took the field, but for what reason only they knew for sure.
If I had iguanas in my garden
the Mets would not be my biggest concern
I chased a big one away today...
They are hilarious creatures, especially when they run. They are not scary, but they eat all my flowers and are generally a pain in the ass.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Also here's a tip
There’s no need to pay for urine. I know where you can get it for free.
It's not me urine...
It’s predator urine.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 10:57 PM EDT up reply actions
That's why it's so expensive
There’s hardly any of them around anymore
Recap
Jon Niese morphed into some vintage 2006-era Oliver Perez today as Lucas Duda hit a sacrifice fly and Carlos Beltranawayfromwalterreedhospital homered. So the Mets lost.
The Mets
lost tonight because they played a team other than the Pittsburgh Pirates. The end.
by packard37 on Sep 22, 2010 10:52 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Fixed...
The Mets
lost tonight because they played a team other than the Pittsburgh Pirates Pittsburgh Pirates, Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians, or the Guam little league world series team (maybe). The end.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions
here we go
Fuck this shit.
John Olerud, Hall of Famer. Got a nice ring to it.
by squid92 on Sep 22, 2010 11:02 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
My recap:
Keith lost his wallet. But then, late in the game against all odds, and 78% of texters, he totally rallied and found it. It was at the bottom of his bag underneath something (probably under a bottle of Johnny Walker). Keith wins!
Here's my recap
The Mets lost to the Marlins. Before a thunderstorm knocked out my Internet connection & satellite signal, Carlos Beltran hit a home run. Jon Niese wasn’t good tonight & has struggled over his past couple of starts. He seems to be fatigued & might be better off being shut down for the rest of the season. After all, now that the Mets have been officially eliminated from postseason contention, there’ll no longer be any “Meaningful Games in September.”
After an off-day tomorrow, the Mets travel to Philadelphia to open a 3-game series against the Phillies.
Is the sun going to come up tomorrow?
by Brian. on Sep 22, 2010 11:08 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Racap:
Of all the games the Mets have ever played, this was certainly one of them.
Save Jenrry Mejia!
In lobby for Josh Byrnes/Chip Hale as Mets 2011 GM/Manager.
best
and as for that heading reference, you underestimate the amount of time i spent staring at cartoons in my childhood mr. simon.
by Rob Castellano on Sep 22, 2010 11:31 PM EDT up reply actions
This is Beyond Suck, This is Beyond Baseball
We’ll start with the positive. Carlos Beltran went 3-5 with a homer and an ill advised triple. Similarly, Ike Davis went 2-4, and Duda went 1-2 with a walk and an RBI, a commendable showing in an otherwise unspectacular evening at the plate.
On the other side of the coin, Jose Reyes struck out three times out of the leadoff spot. While one of the most dynamic players in baseball on the basepaths, Jose’s value at leadoff is severely limited when he’s back in the dugout (He’s no Alex Cora, who led the league in benchWAR with the Mets). Jonathan Niese showed poor control with 6 walks, one for an RBI. Overall Niese gave up 6 earned in 5.2 innings, and is clearly well past his inning limit for the year after a limited 2009 workload. A small bright spot for Niese was his 7Ks, although eventually the batters had to get out somehow just based on law of averages. It is probably well past time to shut him down before he joins the cast of walking wounded, so I fully expect us to pitch his arm off in the weeks to follow.
Both Tejada and Reyes had errors, although Tejada’s error was on a tough-luck bounce on a backhand play. He also made a fairly spectacular throw from behind 2b on another play, which I believe was fair redemption for his earlier “error”. Sean Green surprisingly managed to strike out the side, and hit a batter which I admit I enjoy watching when they’re wearing a Marlins uniform. Takahashi came in to attempt to keep the game close, but gave up 3 hits and an ultimately meaningless insurance run, giving the league a chance to see what kind of starter they’re missing out on this year.
The highlight of the game probably came early, when Keith realized he had lost his wallet. Frantically searching, the crack team of sleuths in the booth managed to locate two possible locations, either on the field, or in one of the lunar seas. They later figured out the wallet was in fact hiding in his bag, before he booked a journey into space so the story had a happy ending. Gary serenaded the lucky fans with the Fordham fight song, much to the joy of deaf people everywhere who didn’t have to hear it. The three then took turns covertly mocking their sponsors.
The gamethread contained a lively debate over the existence of gravity, which Hey Arnold character best symbolized Ollie, that Dickey reproduced by budding, that kevin burkhard’s wikipedia page is way too empty, hatred of Emblem Health commercials, and that chicken beaks are a legitimate source of dietary roughage.
The final score of the game was Marlins 7, Mets 5, Mets fans 120 proof, and Marlins fans…. haha just kidding, theres no such thing.
To all you brave souls who watched this game, you chose poorly, and I commend you for that.
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 22, 2010 11:48 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Wow....
This is a spectacular effort. Lobby for this to be the game recap.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 11:54 PM EDT up reply actions
That said...Fixed.
Takahashi came in to attempt to keep the game close, but gave up 3 hits and an ultimately meaningless insurance run, giving the league Mexican league a chance to see what kind of starter they’re missing out on this year.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 22, 2010 11:55 PM EDT up reply actions
lets pretend i mean the cast of the show The League
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 22, 2010 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey...Question....
Is “benchWAR” the wins created because someone was on the bench, not in the game? If so, this stat needs to be used a lot more often.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 12:49 AM EDT up reply actions
i don't get the "mets fans 120 proof" line
by Mike Clemente on Sep 23, 2010 1:38 AM EDT up reply actions
The strength of liquor needed by Mets fans to enjoy the game...
I would have gone higher, but I respect the choice.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 1:48 AM EDT up reply actions
Somewhere a decent baseball game was played
This wasn’t one of them.
by The Frito Pundito on Sep 23, 2010 12:09 AM EDT reply actions
I'm honored to have recapped this game for all of you
i hope it captures the spirit of the game in all its tragilarity.
Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?
by KeithsMoustache on Sep 23, 2010 12:19 AM EDT reply actions
Some things never change
In typical METS fashion, the team followed up a four game win streak with five losses. This is why this team sucks, they can’t build on anything good. We got swept by the Braves, then the Fish, and, what do we have to loof forward to? Winning, perhaps, one game from the Phillies. When is this “suckfest” trend going to change?
and new ownership and new FO...and...and..and..
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Sep 23, 2010 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions
A better stadium and a different trainer and...
Grission.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions
And giant fluorescent ballplayers...
And Joe Piscopo appearances.
by MookieTheCat on Sep 23, 2010 7:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Beltran's bat looking healthy
he has been hitting lately. It is good to see. If he is trade bait he could catch some looks with agood last 2 weeks. if he stays it is a nice sign for next season
Any task BIG or small, Do it well or not at all
time for the team to trade beltran for Chris Carter Part 2!
"Fantasy, reality, science Fiction. Which is which? Who can tell?"
by feslenraster on Sep 23, 2010 9:32 AM EDT up reply actions
recap
my internet crashed and it was down all night. It made me angrier than the mets possibly could have. My anger, at least, did not confuse and disgust me like it does with this group of under(is there something lower than under?)-achievers.






























