Yunimania Applesauce: Brewers hit bombs, Theo hits the north side, Angels hit unemployment line

Never again, never again

@Let’s make baseball the longest reality series of the year. Before every game, instead of a traditional pregame show, let’s go into the house and see the players bicker and fight. Then after the game, the cameras can follow the players into the bars and watch them bicker and fight and smash a few cuties after hours. Ratings man, ratings man.

Of course, we’d get rid of David Wright. K and errors we can handle, but the vanilla personality just won’t cut it in reality TV land. Instead, we should sign Carlos Zambrano, Milton Bradley, K Rod too (only if his baby mama’s dad/father in law comes along), and let’s not forget about Jim Leyritz and Lenny Dykstrya (They probably can’t play much any more, but they are ratings fucking gold.

Bud Selig simply could not be commissioner in the RBL (Reality Baseball League). I lobby Howard Stern for commish, Bubba the Love Sponge for AL Pres, and Opie and Anthony as co-NL Presidents (by the way, they all hate each other, so we’d even get cool episodes featuring the not-so-boring administrators.)

Joe Buck, you’re done calling games. We’ll get Vince McMahan and Jesse the Body with Gorilla Monsoon sound bites sprinkled in. Too fake? Blogo – he’d be perfect in the post-literate America.@

Americans are such fucking hammer heads. They don’t read and they don’t think and you expect them to watch a moderately paced, thought provoking game like baseball? It’s not about the teams, it’s about the sport, but I like the sport and hope to hell they don’t change it just to get ratings.

Maybe it’s because the greatest team in Mets history were a bunch of cocky mofos, but I love Beast Mode and I think the Brewers are a wonderful contrast to the sullen, corporate attitude of St. Louis. C’mon, this is baseball, not a courtroom. If you can’t act a little goofy and cocky, you’re in the wrong profession.

Also, for all the blather from the sports media about how St. Louis has the best fans in the world, I can’t believe how loud Milwaukee’s fans are. Also, they seem to be standing at all moments of the game.

Im open to a K-Rod return, offer him something low and see what he says.

Even if he was somehow signed at the ‘discount’ price of $10 million dollars a year, we don’t particularly have the financial flexibility to give him $10 million dollars.

But anything is better than we have now, especially if he’d be open to making less money which I doubt.

I don’t really get all the hype around Heath Bell, he isn’t striking out batters as much and he is having his worst season since he left the mets.

TBS post season promos didn’t really get on my nerves until this year. If you watch all post season games I understand how annoying it all is by the time it’s over every year.

But this year? I was tired of hearing Written in the Stars by the end of the first night. Should have just stuck with Kid Rock or Bon Jovi.

Nah man, I is here cause I jacked a Camaro and wants some Benji’s for it. I get that a lot. Who is Albert Pujols?

Man, it was totally him.

It totally means we are going to sign him.