FanPost

2011 Mets Gangsta and Grission Award

With the 2011 season done and over, it's time to start handing out hardware. I heard Amazin' Avenue was handing out "Dickey Awards", but what are those? That's like a Broadway actor winning a New York Drama Critics' Circle Award. Those obscure things are nice to have, but don't mean anything. This is the big time- these are the Tony Awards, baby!

Without further ado, I present to you the second annual Gangsta and Grission Awards. Some of the categories had very tight races, while others were as one-sided as the Imperfect Game. The votes are in, however, and all winners receive as a way to remember their achievements, a Golden Jerry.

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The "Oh, Brett" Award for the MSM's Biggest "Oh, Brett" Moment

Angel Pagan and Colitis

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Stupidest Non-Story of the Year

(Presented by Adam Rubin)

Jose Reyes and the National League Batting Title

Going into the last day of the season, Jose Reyes led Ryan Braun for the National League lead for batting average by a slight margin, where ten-thousandths and hundred-thousandths of a point were important and all that separated the two. Reyes, who played a day game, bunted for a hit in the first inning, and then was pulled from the game by Terry Collins, who was acting on Jose's wishes. Because of his 1-1 performance, Ryan Braun had a chance to win the batting title, but he had to go 3-3, 4-4, or better in order to overcome Reyes. C.J. Wilson interjected on Twitter soon after it happened, "Seriously people- taking out a star player to preserve his batting average lead...weak! I hope ryan braun goes 5- 5 and wins the title now". C.J. Wilson is a douche, but that aside, plenty of people agreed, as the ensuing shit storm on Twitter, the Mets blogs, on talk radio, and in the newspapers the next day was any indication. Plenty of people were very indignant about it, and were quick to bash and criticize Jose Reyes- Mets fans no less. The problem with the narrative that Jose selfishly took himself out of the game to preserve his batting title lead and back his way into it is that it's hardly anything new- plenty of examples of the same exact thing happening exist in sports (a football team selfishly taking a knee late in the 4th quarter with seconds to go, instead of nobly playing the entire game), and in baseball itself- Ken Griffey, Willie Wilson, Bill Mueller, Terry Pendleton, Tim Raines, Bernie Williams, and Derek Jeter all have done the very same thing. And that's just the past twenty years or so.

 

Best R.A. Dickey Moment (On the Field)

Saturday, September 24th started out as nothing special. The Phillies had already won the NL East, the team had already long been eliminated from Wild Card berth, and at the time of the game's 1:10 start, it was a very temperate 76 degrees, but a bit cloudy and overcast. All in all, like a lot of September baseball games for losing teams, it had the potential to be a very blasé, who-cares game. The fact that we were playing the Phillies that afternoon- and as such, were that much more likely to lose- didn't help things. As is the case whenever R.A. Dickey toes the rubber, there was a certain magic in the air. This day, however, things were a bit different. The magic might have been a little more concentrated. In the breaks in the clouds, the baseball gods might have been smiling down on us. Whatever the case, the as the game progressed, fans grew more anxious, more hushed (except Kevin Burkhardt and Gary Cohen, the tools). One, two three, four, five innings- R.A. Dickey was throwing a perfect game. In the 6th, he walked Carlos Ruiz, but nothing came of it, and his no-hitter was intact for another inning. With one out in the 7th, Shame Dicktorino broke it up with a line drive double to left field- Ryan Howard would drive him in during the very next at-bat, leaving R.A. on the hook as the losing pitcher, improbably enough! Those 6.1 innings of no-hit baseball were magical. As a franchise that has seen it's fair share of masterful pitching performances and flirtations with no-hitters, I think we sometimes can be cynical and a bit touchy about this topic. But, as the game unfolded, and Philly after Philly were sent packing back to the dugout with nothing to show for their troubles, it seemed as if the impossible might indeed just happen. R.A. has a pretty good record against the Phillies after all (2.30 ERA in 15.2 IP in 2011 and a 2.25 ERA in 24 IP in 2010), and had a similar no-hitter going on August 13th last season, so there was good reason to think that, maybe, just maybe, this might be it. Sadly, it wasn't, but it was an excellent capstone to an excellent season.

 

Best R.A. Dickey Moment (Off the Field)

There's plenty of things to choose from. While my personal favorite was R.A. Dickey on Star Wars Night, the Golden Jerry has got to go to this interview, done by ESPN's Jonah Keri. In it, he confirms that he is aware of all of our Dickeyfaces (a purely Amazin' Avenue phenomenon, started and perpetuated by us), and that he enjoys the Dickeyfaces, commending us for our creativity- and he knew specifically that Mister Mets's/Steve Schreiber's very cromulent "Dickface" was the winner. The rest of the interview was, of course, good- R.A. is indeed a renaissance man.

 

Best Dickeyface of 2011

The Dicker, By KaaMets


Most Gangsta Injury

Danny Murphy

If I weren't lazy, I would have finished college early and/or held the Gangsta and Grission Awards for 2010. If I had, Danny Murphy would have won this category, hands down, with that bush league slide that took him out in AAA-Buffalo last season. Well, Murphy is back-to-back winner of the Most Gangsta Injury, winning the award after having his MCL torn after a collision with Jose Costanza on a stolen base by the Braves' outfielder.

 

The Tuuu Timp Award for Best Performance by a Fictional Player

(Presented by Ike David)

"Nick Evans"

In July, some guy hit .267/.389/.600 in 15 at-bats. In August, that same guy hit .366/.413/.585 in 41 at-bats. In September, that same guy hit .241/.265/.352 in 108 at-bats. That's a .291/.356/.512 slash line in 164 at-bats between July and September. Whoever he is, I wish he were real.

 

Grissioniest Pitching Performance by a Pitcher

Chris Capuano, August 26th

On August 26th, Chris Capuano tossed a two-hit shutout against the Atlanta Braves, striking out 13 and walking none. According to ESPN's Game Score Counter, his masterful performance was the best pitching performance of the season, netting 96 points- better than Fransisco Liriano's no-hitter, Ervin Santana's no-hitter, and Justin Verlander's no-hitter. His domination that night can be relived here.

 

Grissioniest  Hitting Performance by a Hitter

Jose Reyes, May 6th

Carlos Beltran might deserve this award, if it weren't for one thing- homeruns are rally killers and are the epitome of selfishness. So, Jose Reyes gets the award instead for his performance on May 6th, against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Reyes went 3-4 that night with a double and two triples, and a walk, plus a stolen base. Outside of inside-the-park homeruns, the triple is my favorite type of hit. Homeruns are more valuable, but there's only tension as you jump up in your seat and try to judge if it goes out or not. As Jose himself says, "A triple's exciting, man. People love it. And I love it, too." There's tension as to whether or not the ball initially gets caught, how far the runner is able to get, and (if it's a close play), if the runner is safe or not. Unlike the homerun, all that building excitement builds and builds, and can only be safely released when the runner is safe at third.

 

The Keith Award For Keith

(Presented by Keith)

Carlos Beltran's Three Home Run Game

On May 12th, there must've been a glitch in the Matrix, because Carlos Beltran Keith'd us. In the 1st inning, with Willie Harris already on base, Beltran hit a home run deep into the night through the thin Colorado air of Coors Field. In the 7th, with Willie Harris already on base, Beltran hit a home run deep into the night through the thin Colorado air of Coors Field. In the 9th, with Willie Harris already on base, Beltran hit a home run deep into the night through the thin Colorado air of Coors Field

 

Biggest FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- Moment

(Presented by FreakyStyley)

The last few innings of this baseball game

A picture is worth a thousand words, but a video of this? Only half a word:

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Stupidest Mets Injury

(Presented by -Dr. Nick- Ray Ramirez)

David Wright/Ike Davis collision

Wrestling is scripted. I think we're all old enough to know this. Despite the fact that it's scripted, the wrestlers themselves get bumped and bruised up, and occasionally, have worse stuff than nicks and scratches happen to them. At the WWF King of the Ring Event in 1998, Mick Foley (Mankind) and Mark Calloway (The Undertaker) went toe-to-toe in a Hell-in-a-Cell match- basically, a beefed up cage match. During their match, the two managed to crawl up to the top of the 16-foot structure, where the Undertaker threw Mankind off of it, into the Spanish announcer's table (It's always the Spanish announcer's table!). Shortly after the medical staff arrived to legitimately take him away, he got back up, climbed back to the top of the cage, and continued the match. The Undertaker was supposed to chokeslam Mankind on top of the cage, causing it to sag, as the designers planned. Something went wrong, and the chain links that composed the cage snapped, causing Mankind to fall back first onto the canvas ring below. Into a pile of thumbtacks. And a chair. In the end, he suffered a dislocated left shoulder, bruised kidney, had a tooth and a half knocked out (the whole one was somehow swallowed and found it's way into his nostril), 20-something stitches in his lower lip, broke his jaw, was knocked unconscious, suffered from a concussion, and had a bunch of thumbtacks lodged all over his body. A few weeks later, he was back to work, wrestling. On May 10th, hitting .302/.383/.543 a month into the season, he and David Wright bumped into each other catching a pop up in front of the pitcher's mound. It didn't look too serious, but Davis went down- literally. Escorted off the field, obviously with a pained ankle, Davis wasn't seen or heard from for the rest of the season. Along the way, he may or may not have been misdiagnosed and/or had rehab procedures done to him that were detrimental to his overall recovery.

 

Most Gangsta Walk-Up/Warm-Up Music

(Presented by the Mets Band)

David Wright (Monster, Kanye West)

David Wright cycles through his walk-up music. I know I get tired of certain songs periodically after hearing them too often, so I imagine the same happens with baseball players (except for Carlos Beltran). Of the different songs he uses, I like "Sabotage", by the Beastie Boys, the most. Dubs uses a Kanye West song when he comes up to bat as well- a song entitled "Monster". I've never heard of it before, nor would I have recognized it if it was playing over the loudspeaker while I was at a game- but the lyrics and general tone of the song seem so opposite of David Wright, to the point it's almost comical. Here's the music video and here's an excerpt of the song's corus line (I am sure whichever part is played when Wright is coming up to bad is edited, if cursing is contained):

Gossip gossip
Ni--as just stop it
Everybody know (I'm a motherfucking monster)
I'm a need to see your fucking hands at the concert
I'm a need to see your fucking hands at the concert
Profit profit, ni--a I got it
Everybody know I'm a motherfucking monster
I'm a need to see your fucking hands at the concert
I'm a need to see your fucking hands at the concert

 

The Lupojohn Award For Biting and Cutting Edge Sarcasm

DandySalderson in "Trading for Jeter"

"Larry" proposes we trade for Derek Jeter. Hillarity ensues.

 

The Scotty Award For Being A Bad Post

(Presented By SiteBot)

1969Met in "KEEP REYES and WRIGHT"

You know it's gonna be good when it's barely a single paragraph and advocates "[getting] rid of guys making money and doing very little for the team" such as R.A. Dickey. Rereading the comments section was awesome, and I recommend everyone do so.

 

Best Puppies Brought To My Attention This Season

(Presented by Puppy Avenue)

Katy Perry

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The Fucking Logic Award For Managerial Excellence

Terryball is Jerryball (almost)

This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

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