AAOP: Banned from WFAN

HELLO FRIENDS....

I HAVE BEEN TRYEING TO CALL MY FRIEND JOE AT WFAN BUT THEY ALWAYS TELL ME HE IS BUSY TALKING TO OTHER CALLARS WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK TO HIS FRIEND IVAN THEY TELL ME HE IS ON A BATHROOM BRAKE THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY AROUND 11 AM WHEN I GET UP I CANT BELIEVE THAT JOE AND IVAN ARE ALWAYS DOING TEH SAME THING EVERY DAY AT TEH SAME TIME BUT I GUESS I SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISED BECUASE I DO TEH SAME THING EVERY NIGHT AT TEH SAME TIME AND THAT IS KISS MY GIRLFRIEND GERTRUDE GOODNIGHT AROUND 8 PM AND THEN GO WATCH REPLAYS OF BASEBALL GAMES WHERE JHONNY DAMIAN PLAYS I HAVE THEM ALL ON VHS TAPE BECUASE THAT GIVES ME TEH BEST QUALITY ON BLACK AND WHITE TV WHICH IS ALL I HAVE IN MY APARTMINT.

ANYWAY I STOP BY HERE ABOUT ONCE A WEEK TO SEE WHAT MY FRIENDS FROM TEH METS ARE DOING AND I CAN SEE THEY ARE NOT DOING MUCH I GUESS TEH OWNARS MAYBE LOST A LOT OF MONAY AT TEH TRACK YOU NEVER KNOW WITH THESE HORSES ESPECIALLY THE DARK ONES SO I FIGIRED I WOULD TRY TO OFFER A FEW IDEAS AND SEE WHAT YOUS THINK ANYWAY HERE IT GOES

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THAT GUY JOSAY RAYES - HE IS PRETTY GOOD - I THINK THEY SHOULD KEEP HIM BEFORE TEH RED SOCKS GET HIM.

THIS KID DAVID RIGHT - I WATCH TEH GAMES SOMETIMES AND HE DOESNT IMPRESS ME MUCH HE ALWAYS THROWS TEH BALL TO THE FANS IN THE STANDS AND TEH RUNNERS ADVANCE - ALSO I THINK MAYBE HE MUST HAVE A GIRLFRIEND LIKE I DO AND SHE TAKES A LOT OUT OF HIM BECUASE SOMETIMES HE ONLY HITS TEH BALL TO THE FENCE BUT IT DOESNT GO OVER TEH FENCE LIKE THAT TIME JHONNY DAMIAN HIT A GRAND SLIM AGAINST TEH YANKEES IN THE WORLD SERIOUS I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HIM THEN - ANYWAY THIS DAVID RIGHT KID - HE BETTER GET HIS ACT TOGETHER OR THE NEW MG WILL TRAID HIM FOR NEW KIDS

I THINK TEH METS ALSO NEED A CATCHAR BECUASE THIS KID TOLEY HE IS NOT VERY GOOD BUT I THINK IF TEH METS SIGNED POSADA HE COULD HELP TEACH THE YOUNG KID HOW TO PLAY TEH GAME TEH RIGHT WAY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS SHOW HIM TEH RINGZ AND TEH KID WILL COME AROUND, YOU KNOW ?

THIS BRINGS ME TO SECOND BASE AND THIS IS WHERE I WAS TRYEING TO CALL WFAN TO SHARE MY IDEA WITH TEH FANS - BRING IN JHONNY DAMIAN TO PLAY SECOND BASE - HE DOESN'T HAVE AN ARM TO PLAY OUTFIELD ANY MORE SO SECOND BASE IS PERFECT FOR HIM - HE COULD BAT SECOND BEHIND RAYAS WHO WOULD HAVE TO PLAY FIRST BASE TO BAT FIRST BUT THAT CAN BE ARRANGED BY JUST MOVING IKE DAVID TO SHORTSTOPS - I THINK THIS IDEA IS TEH BEST ONE I HAD SINCE WOODSTICK - DID I TELL YOU GUISE THAT SHOW WAS MY IDEA ?

AS FAR AS TEH OUTFIELD I GUESS WE CAN KEEP JAYSEN BAY BECUASE HE CAME FROM TEH RED SOCKS AND HE KNOWS HOW TO WIN BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF THAT GUY PAGAN HE SUCKS WE PROBABLY NEED TO BRING SOMEONE LIKE JIM EDMONDS BECUASE HE CAN CATCH ANYTHING AND MAYBE WE SHOULD TRAID THIS DUDE KID TO TEH MARLENS FOR A PICHAR - WITH EDMONDS IN THE OUTFIELD WE ONLY NEED TWO OUTFIELDARS AND WE CAN SAVE SOME MONAY TO PAY BOBBY BONILLA.

FINALLY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT TEH PICHARS - IF YOU ONLY HAVE A COUPLE OF PICHARS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN - LOOK AT TEH YANKEES THIS YEAR - NO PICHARS, NO RINGZ.  SO HERE IS WHAT I WOULD DO - I WOULD SIGN THAT FELLOW THAT OWNES THE RANGERS WHAT IS HIS NAME NOLEN RAYON - I MEAN HE WOULD HAVE TO GET IN SHAPE FRIST BUT I THINK HE CAN STILL TRHOW HARDER THAN THAT DICKEY GUY - I HEAR HE IS NOT COMING BACK BECUASE HE IS GOING TO BUILD A HOUSE ON A MOUNTAIN SOMEWHERE AND CALL IT THE HALL OF TEH MOUNTAIN KING OR SOMETHING BUT ANYWAY I THINK NOLEN RAYON WOULD BE A GOOD NUMBER 2 BEHIND MIKE PELFERY.

SO THAT IS MY PLAN - TOO BAD JOE DIDNT TAKE MY CALL BECUASE A LOT MORE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE HEARD IT ON TEH AIR - BUT I GUESS THE SIX OF YOU CAN SPREAD TEH WORD - I HOPE MR. SIMON HAS A NICE THANKSGIVING AND LETS ME CONTINUE TO VISIT.

BYE