Shane Victorino's Parents Bracing For Annual Spring Training Drop-Off Tantrum | The Onion Sports Network

"It's just a matter of time. Once he sees us packing his clothes and his baseball equpiment, his face gets all red and he starts shaking," said [Victorino's] mother Joycelyn.

over 1 year ago Eric Simon 16 comments 4 recs |

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OK, fess up

You’re trying to influence the poll, right?

What's the score, boys?
What did Bugs Bunny do?
What's with the Carrot League baseball today?

by StorkFan on Feb 22, 2011 10:22 PM EST reply actions

Haha, nicely done Onion, nicely done

Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know? A headache with pictures?

by KeithsMoustache on Feb 22, 2011 10:26 PM EST reply actions

I don't believe that Shane Victorino has a mother.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Feb 23, 2011 12:10 AM EST reply actions

At least, not one that acknowledges having birthed him.

"And that's why anybody who invested with Lenny Dykstra should really call that number. Lawyers are standing by."

by BobbyV_Incognito on Feb 23, 2011 12:13 AM EST up reply actions

I thought that a pineapple gave birth to him

by sonics097 on Feb 23, 2011 5:49 AM EST up reply actions

pineapples are way too delicious

it was probably something loud, disgusting, and foul smelling.

What Would Matt Szczur Do?

Fact on Villanova Sports

by Hoyadestroya85 on Feb 23, 2011 8:33 AM EST up reply actions

rossie o'donnel?????

I hate Philadelphia so much.

by the caveman on Feb 23, 2011 9:44 AM EST up reply actions

A durian

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Feb 23, 2011 11:46 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Oh the humanity..

by Wright of passage on Feb 23, 2011 10:43 PM EST up reply actions

Snooki?

Chamption of the R.A. Dickey Face contest and "Cromulent Photoshopper Extraordinaire" of Amazin' Avenue!

by Steve Schreiber on Feb 23, 2011 11:52 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Good guess.

"And that's why anybody who invested with Lenny Dykstra should really call that number. Lawyers are standing by."

by BobbyV_Incognito on Feb 23, 2011 6:16 PM EST up reply actions

Oh the inhumanity..

by Wright of passage on Feb 23, 2011 10:43 PM EST up reply actions

He is the spawn of a corpse flower

by CTRefJay on Feb 23, 2011 5:53 PM EST up reply actions

His mother is a jackal.

Save Jenrry Mejia!

by Ogre39666 on Feb 23, 2011 6:03 PM EST up reply actions

And his father smelled of elderberries.

What's the score, boys?
What did Bugs Bunny do?
What's with the Carrot League baseball today?

by StorkFan on Feb 24, 2011 10:11 PM EST up reply actions

I was going for a Omen reference

but sure, why not.

Save Jenrry Mejia!

by Ogre39666 on Feb 25, 2011 1:55 AM EST up reply actions

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At 5:30 PM EDT today Starting today at 5:00 PM EDT, witness one of the greatest renderings of visual sound effects ever!

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