The 10 Commandments of The Dickey

by fxcarden on Mar 5, 2011 12:55 PM EST

Yes, I know...this should be a Fanshot, but what the hell.

Also, I hope this doesn't offend anyone, as it is not intended that way. Read on after the jump.

1 “I am the Dickey, who brought you out of the basement, out of the house of mom. You shall have no other Dickeys before Me.

2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is on the scoreboard above, or that is on the field beneath, or that is in the dugout; you shall not bow down to the Phillies nor serve them. For I, the Dickey, am a knuckleballer, visiting the parks of teams who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Facial Expression alive in the internetz.

3 “You shall not take the name of the Dickey in vain, for the Dickey will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

4 “Remember the fifth day, to keep it holy. Four days you shall labor and do all your work, but the fifth day is the day of the Dickey. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. On the fifth day you shall watch The Dickey pitch and rejoice. For in five days the Dickey made the rotation, the lineup, and all that is in them, and rested the sixth day. Therefore the Dickey blessed the fifth day and hallowed it.

5 “Honor your father and your mother, that they may continue to let you live in the basement, and your days may be long watching the awesomeness which the Dickey is giving you.

6 “You shall not throw at people's heads.

7 "You shall not commit balks.

8 "You shall not allow the steal.

9 “You shall not allow Kevin Burkhardt to interview you and ask the same dumb questions.

10 “You shall not covet your opponents fastball; you shall not covet your opponents slider, nor his curveball, nor his female servant, nor his Lamborghini, nor his contract, nor anything that is your opponent's.”

Thus spoke The Dickey.

This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

Tweet Comment 31 comments | 21 recs |

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Comments

Praise be to Dickey

Excellent, excellent work. The Church of Dickey is that much better, now.

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Mar 5, 2011 1:57 PM EST via mobile reply actions

BDMF

This is gonna get old at some point but: “Hit me with the toad!!”

"Intelligence is not a genetic predisposition. Think stupid!!"

by Wright of passage on Mar 5, 2011 8:49 PM EST up reply actions

Yes, and so is the "who ?" thing.

by fxcarden on Mar 5, 2011 9:54 PM EST up reply actions

I'd do it myself

but even as appropriate as it is at this moment, I don’t have the heart to c/p the toad and wield it like its my own. It just feels like plagiarism.

"Intelligence is not a genetic predisposition. Think stupid!!"

by Wright of passage on Mar 5, 2011 10:35 PM EST up reply actions

Not home, on my phone.

Sorry, dude. If you can wait a little bit…

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Mar 5, 2011 11:49 PM EST via mobile up reply actions

The Dickey be with you

What Would Matt Szczur Do?

Fact on Villanova Sports

by Hoyadestroya85 on Mar 5, 2011 2:21 PM EST reply actions

I can't hate Minaya as much as I want to now

b/c without him, there is no Dickey.

"It don't make you a bad person" - Ron Bennington

by Pauly C on Mar 5, 2011 6:27 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

Dickey be praised!!!

"The Mets are gonna be amazin'!" - Casey Stengel
"Bounding and astounding!" - Clyde Frazier
"He who gets the best players usually wins" - Bobby Bowden

by Russ on Mar 5, 2011 7:35 PM EST reply actions

DICKEY BE PRAISED!!

R.a. dickey patron saint of awesome and knuckleballs

I hate Philadelphia so much.

by the caveman on Mar 5, 2011 10:31 PM EST up reply actions

WE MUST MAKE OFFERINGS TO THE DICKEY!!

What Would Matt Szczur Do?

Fact on Villanova Sports

by Hoyadestroya85 on Mar 5, 2011 10:49 PM EST up reply actions

I say we sacrifice an Ollie and a Castillo to the Dickey!

by Shevshevy on Mar 6, 2011 11:30 AM EST up reply actions 9 recs

If I could rec this multiple times, I would.

In Lou We Trust!! (but that doesn't mean we don't wonder sometimes...)

by statusquo on Mar 9, 2011 1:40 PM EST up reply actions

"You shall have no other Dickeys before Me."

I’ve got to say… I get the fidelity-to-source-material thing, but I don’t believe our Dickey is a jealous, O.T.-kinda Dickey.

by LeiterMilnerFasterStronger on Mar 6, 2011 1:19 AM EST reply actions

If I ever get this thing signed by R.A.

I’m going to frame it on my wall like its a religious relic signed by the J man himself. I can’t believe FX only has 6 recs on this so far!!

"Intelligence is not a genetic predisposition. Think stupid!!"

by Wright of passage on Mar 6, 2011 1:33 AM EST reply actions

Dickey smites all who oppose him

And he will strike thee out with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my team mates. And you will know I am Dickey when I lay my vengeance upon you.

HELLO HELLO MR WILPON... BUY THAT MANSION. WE DONT NEED A CONDO.

by kendynamo on Mar 6, 2011 2:05 PM EST reply actions 2 recs

Yes,

my idea about a Dickey religion is coming into fruition.

Yogi on the 1969 NY Mets....." overwhelming underdogs "

by SuperSantana on Mar 6, 2011 4:47 PM EST reply actions

THE TEN DICKEYMANDMENTS

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
Gil Hodges IS a Hall of Famer.

AA Gamethread Embiggening Record Holder- 453 posts (10/03/10)

by Brooklyn Dodgers Mets Fan on Mar 6, 2011 9:25 PM EST reply actions 16 recs

remember, there were 15

5 were “oopsed”

"it's not easy being green"-kermit the frog
"we the mets are an improved ball club, now we lose in extra innings"-casy stengal
i cant spell a nosebleed
it's baseball season, and i hate you oliver perez!!!

by rexthejet on Mar 6, 2011 10:57 PM EST up reply actions

I remember now...

by CTRefJay on Mar 7, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs

Wow

that is some deep research into the archives of the interwebz.

by fxcarden on Mar 7, 2011 12:43 PM EST up reply actions

Fanshot this...

it’s excellent.

Chamption of the R.A. Dickey Face contest and "Cromulent Photoshopper Extraordinaire" of Amazin' Avenue!

by Steve Schreiber on Mar 7, 2011 7:35 AM EST up reply actions

brilliant

I was going to do something similar but life got in the way.

by fxcarden on Mar 7, 2011 9:00 AM EST up reply actions

I

just woke my dog up laughing out loud. My guess is that Moses loves this.

by ng607 on Mar 14, 2011 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions

Had to alter it a bit to make it work but

In the beginning was Dickey, and the Knuckler was with Dickey, and the Knuckler was Dickey. The Knuckler was with Dickey in the Beginning. All Knucklers were made through Dickey, and without him was not made any Knuckler that was made. In Dickey was the Knuckler, and the Knuckler was the winz of the Mets. The Knuckler shines in the NL East, and the NL East can never extinguish it.

(Original Source, John 1:1-5)

"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage

by blueandorange4life on Mar 7, 2011 1:27 AM EST reply actions 2 recs