FanPost

A heartfelt plea to the MS Paint AA community

As always, I look to this community for a humorous distraction from the ridiculousness surrounding the Mets. I believe this calls for an MS Paint (or perhaps a notch or 2 above) project, but I am not skilled in such arts - perhaps sparbz or someone else can step up. Here's the request: Can someone put together a Rachel-Phelps-esque Fred Wilpon picture (complete with "YOU GUYS STINK!," of course), with the below-head portion cut into 70 sections. I chose 70 because I calculated the average (mean) of wins for every NL wild card winner except the first, the 1995 Rockies, because they were significant outlier (only 77 wins) due to the strike-shortened season. That average is 91.6, rounded up to 92. The Mets have 22 wins, so, 92-22=70, meaning, 70 wins to reach the playoffs. It could be updated every time the Mets win to reflect our inevitable march to the playoffs inspired by the team's unified hatred of the owner. (As Taylor said in Major League after being told of Phelps' plot, "There's only one thing left to do...win the whole fuckin' thing.") As part of this plea, to protect our health, lunches, and SFW nature of the site, I propose a neutral behind-the-clothes picture rather than anything resembling a nude Fred Wilpon. Perhaps a Mister Met or something. Is anyone equal to the task?

This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

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