At the risk of this becoming a less-awesome version of Sports Cards for Insane People (because honestly, I can't compete with Jon Bois, no matter how hard I try), today's Mets eBay Superlative is also a trading card. I'm not really sure why companies like Topps keep churning out ridiculous stuff like this — is there really a large market for collectors of awful trading cards? — but they do, and this one is a real doozy.

To paraphrase Michael Bluth, "don't call him that."

I'm not a big fan of nicknames of this genre as it is; I feel like the fad should have died after Alex Rodriguez was christened "A-Rod," and we certainly shouldn't have had to deal with I-Rod or K-Rod or A-Rod (that one's Aaron Rodgers, which makes it oh so much worse). This one would be bad enough if anyone ever actually called David Wright "D-Money" but I'm fairly certain that I've never heard it before, and hope to never hear it again. It's the worst.

We're doing just fine with David WRONGZZZZZZ, thank you very much.