A. B. P. Always Be Pelfin' (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
Meet the Mets
The Cardinals came to PSL yesterday to face Mike Pelfrey and the Mets in Grapefruit League action. The results? As expected. Pelf be pelfin' everybody. Patrick Flood has the blow by blow of the horror. Now, I know it's Spring Training, but really, all that means is I get to sit through extra infuriating Pelfrey appearances. Adam Wainwright tossed three scoreless for the Cards, as he works his way back from Tommy John surgery. And with Chris Carpenter set to miss the start of the season, Wainwright's health and effectiveness is going to be paramount.
Of course, with the redbirds in town, that meant Carlos Beltran is in town, so of course that gave the media an opportunity to ask him the question that is on all of our minds. What's the status of Jon Niese's rhinoplasty bill? Wait, my bad, that is on none of our minds. Look, I know it's Spring Training, and not much is going on. And I know your bosses expect you to file some reports in between your 18 holes of golf and your trip to the Sizzler for dinner. But come on beat reporters, you need to start showing up in the best shape of your lives. Ted Berg knows the score at least.
The injuries keep on coming as well. Ruben Tejada was scratched from the line-up with a sore groin, while Ronny Cedeno took an arrow to the knee or something. Terry Collins is taking it well. You know, I think Collins is an okay manager and all, but the Terry show is starting to grate on my nerves.
Tim Byrdak had his knee surgery and the Mets think he will be back in the bullpen in about six weeks. Until then, Andy McCullough takes a look at his potential replacements. Garrett Olsen has looked good this Spring, but he's still Garrett Olsen. Don't see why it shouldn't be Herrera's job to lose at this point. One of the dark horse candidates is Josh Edgin, but Toby Hyde thinks that's a bad idea. I concur. I wouldn't be shocked if Edgin is up this year, but A+ to AA is a very big jump A+ to MLB is kind of insane.
The Mets head to Lakeland today to take on the Tigers in more hot Grapefruit League action. Here's your starting line-up. You know, assuming no one gets hurt getting on or off the bus. Not listed there, but making the trip, is Amazin Avenue favorite Darin Gorski.
Finally, a tutorial on how to find yourself in Applesauce. (1) Write a fawning piece about Josh Satin, or (2) Interview Valentino Pascucci about sandwiches. Just don't interview Josh Satin about sandwiches, because my brain will explode, in which case, no applesauce.
So, the whole Bobby V thing is going well in Boston. I am sure the media will calm down once the season starts, though. They are probably just intrigued by the whole novelty thing. Winning cures all, of course. Unless you are Dan Shaughnessy. In which case, you're general boobness is incurable.
I still have no idea what the pale hose are up to. First they act like they are rebuilding. Then they sign John Danks to a long term deal, but now they might be moving Gavin Floyd. At least they have a steady, veteran hand in the clubhouse to make it all work. Okay, that's not fair. Ventura gets a lifetime pass from me for the Grand Slam Single. He could piss on my dog, and while he was doing it I'd be like, "the Grand Slam Single was awesome!"
As we reported here Monday, the Nationals have a stupidly large burger named after Steven Strasberg. Well, in the interest of full disclosure, it turns out that eating the StrasBurger might in fact kill you.
If you want to kick the tires on Michael Wuertz, he's more than willing to throw for you next week. Wuertz was hurt most of last year, but was frighteningly effective when healthy. He also would have been cheaper than Jon Rauch, but whatever.
Finally, we wrap up with some Braves news. Turns out Chipper Jones was totally joking about that whole retirement thing yesterday. But while Larry might make it through the whole season, Fredi might not be so fortunate. His managerial style is a bit peculiar certainly, but it just goes to show that Bobby Cox is the exception, not the rule, when it comes to managerial tenures.