New York Mets Spring Training Injury Report: Break-The-Mets-O-Meter

I figured that running weekly New York Mets injury reports from Spring Training would be all we needed to keep track of the waning health of players in Port St. Lucie, but I know now how foolish it was to think I could adumbrate this team's panoply of bodily malfunctions using a run-of-the-mill paragraph structure. I needed a chart, a table, a diagram.

What I needed was a Break-The-Mets-O-Meter, and here it is.

Player Injury Comment
Pedro Beato Shoulder Beato had an MRI on his sore pitching shoulder last week to get a closer look at what was being described as "right rotator cuff inflammation." Beato plans on throwing today so I guess that means he's ship-shape and there's nothing else to worry about.
Tim Byrdak Meniscus Byrdak had surgery earlier this week and it'll probably be a month or more before he's even able to think about dressing up like wrestling superstars of yore.
D.J. Carrasco Ankle Carrasco suffered an ankle twist on Tuesday and is expected to miss a few days or more.
Robert Carson Rib Carson strained his intercostal last week but was pitching for realsies by Saturday and was optioned to minor league camp this morning.
Ronny Cedeno Knee Cedeno has knee tendinitis but isn't expected to miss much time. This just in: Ronny Cedeno died.
Ike Davis Valley Fever Whether or not Davis ever had Valley fever is probably irrelevant now that he's playing baseball again. Hooray for encouraging injury-related news!
Scott Hairston Abdominal Hairston received a cortisone shot to help with the pain in his strained left oblique but has shown little sign of progress so far.
Reese Havens Abdominal Havens's injury arrow will always point groundward as a constant reminder of where he should collapse, face-first, following his next injury. Optioned to minor league camp today.
Kirk Nieuwenhuis Abdominal Nieuwenhuis strained his oblique during batting practice on Sunday and he's been out of game action ever since. He was optioned to minor league camp this morning.
Johan Santana Shoulder Santana has looked pretty good so far this spring, and by "pretty good" I mean "velocity in the high eighties" and "arm is still attached." Gold star for the medical staff!
Ruben Tejada Groin BAD: Tejada strained his left groin while taking infield practice on Tuesday.
WORSE: Justin Turner is going to see more playing time now.
David Wright Abdominal Wright had a cortisone shot on Monday and an MRI showed that what was previously described as an abdominal strain was actually a muscle tear. As Wright pointed out, though, all strains are really tears anyway so this probably sounds worse than it is. His return has been described by nobody as "soon but not imminent."
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