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What's The Deal With R.A. Dickey: The Worst Online Article I've Ever Read

To start things off, the author ("elpresidente") uses an uncredited Dickeyface Contest entry. He goes on to write (I will copy everything here so that nobody has to give him pageviews): In a memoir due to hit bookstores later this week, New York Mets knuckleballer R.A. Dickey discusses finding a syringe in the Texas Rangers clubhouse in 2001 as well as the sexual abuse he dealt with as a child. "The sight of it makes me cringe, the shiny thin needle lying randomly on the tile floor," Dickey writes in his autobiography, "Wherever I Wind Up," which is excerpted. "My mind races with thoughts about how and why it got there. I know as much about needles as I do about jewelry, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t a sewing needle. I don’t know if this syringe injected a Ranger with insulin or cortisone or B12 or anabolic steroids, though you can hazard a guess when you run through the roster of my muscle-laden teammates. "I’d never seen a syringe in a baseball clubhouse before. I’ve not seen one since. It may have been used for the most benign of purposes, but the mere sight of it makes me feel as though I am looking straight at Evil — like seeing a weapon somebody left behind at a crime scene." Dickey also discusses being abused at the hands of a teenage babysitter as an 8-year-old. He concealed the abuse for another 23 years. "The babysitter chucks the pillows and stuffed animals out of the way," Dickey writes. "She looks at me and says, Get in the bed. I am confused and afraid. I am trembling. The babysitter has her way with me four or five more times that summer, and into the fall, and each time feels more wicked than the time before. Every time that I know I’m going back over there, the sweat starts to come back. I sit in the front seat of the car, next to my mother, anxiety surging. I never tell her why I am so afraid. I never tell anyone until I am 31 years old." What’s the deal with RA Dickey? First of all why is he writing a book about his life? Hey bro nobody cares. You’re fucking RA Dickey not Sandy Koufax. Second what is up with that syringe story? He’s making it seem like he witnessed somebody getting Sanduskied in the locker room. " It was like seeing a weapon somebody left behind at a crime scene" Really? You’re telling me that on a team with Juan Gonzalez, Rafael Palmero, Pudge Rodriguez, Ruben Sierra, Julio Franco etc you didn’t know people were juicing? What are you an idiot or something? Now as far as this sexual abuse shit I’m not buying it. This is Scott Brown 101. I’m writing a book so I’m going to tell the world a secret I haven’t talked about for 30 years and I’m not going to mention the babysitters name even though they should be in jail. Bullshit. Give me names Dickey or get out of my face with this shit. But I guess the joke is on me because I’m the one writing a blog about RA Dickey. I didn’t see that coming when I woke up this morning.

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