Eighty-five Percent of the Mets Offense was Working, the Other Fifteen Came Out Here Applesauce

Uh, David...ball's over there. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Meet the Mets

The Mets must have had a few too many red hots and breaded steaks as they looked downright lethargic in their series opener with the Cubs. Johan Santana pitched pretty well, though he probably wants that high fastball to Joe Mather back. Meanwhile, the Mets offense could manage nary a peep against Travis Wood and his "high school freshman trying to grow a beard" beard. Sigh, that's why we play one hundred and sixty two. The Mets try to even up the series tonight with Dillon Gee on the mound.

The Mets bullpen let in four additional runs (though granted, much of that is on the defense), but John Ricco is going to be on it, you guys. Because throwing money at the bullpen in the offseason worked so well, we are going to try it again. Predicting what any reliever is going to do in a half season is a fool's errand, so the Mets might as well roll with what they have. Sticking with the pen, Bobby Parnell is the official closer in Frank Frank's action. You know, at least until he gives up an E6 a bloop and a bleeder to blow a save. Then Terry will be forced to turn to proven closer Miguel Batista. Sadly, I am only half joking.

Terry Collins was worried about a letdown game coming into Chicago, but Greg Prince thinks that reeks of bogusness. FAFIF also reviews the 1983 Mets Yearbook.

Howard Megdal looks at newest Mets Justin Hampson and suggests that he may be more than just a LOOGY. Hampson has been a good reliever period the last two seasons for Buffalo, and while I wouldn't throw him up there against Mike Stanton or anything, he could be more versatile than Byrdak.

Jason Bay was cleared to return to physical activity after suffering a concussion against the Reds.

Oh, and Josh Satin hit two home runs for the Bisons live on MLB Network. Sadly, he did not hit the bull and win a steak, though. Hail Satin!

Around the NL East

The Nationals 'kept pace' with the Mets, losing to the hapless Rockies. The Rockies are still doing that bizarre 75 pitch limit apparently.

As bad as the Mets' pen is, well, at least it isn't the Marlins' pen. Heath BeLOL! I am amazed Ozzie Guillen hasn't had a stroke in the dugout yet.

The Phillies beat up on the Pirates. I can't really keep making jokes about the Pirates, since they have the same record as the Mets. No idea how that is the case, though. Philadelphia should be getting whatever is left of Chase Utley back this week as well.

Around MLB

Tommy Milone and the A's pen combined for a seven hit shutout of the Mariners. Yes, it is the Mariners, but Milone has a 3.83 ERA on the season and is fast becoming one of my favorite non-Met pitchers. Average fastball velocity 87.6 mph, come on now!

The Giants are nipping at the heels of the first place Dodgers after a superb pitching performance from Barry Zito. Yep, that Barry Zito.

Jose Bautista took over the AL home run lead as the Jays out mashed the Red Sox at Fenway.

Consummate professional "Balkin'" Bob Davidson managed to screw up a double switch last night. Robot umps please. And of course it happened against the Cardinals, who would perform three double switches a game under LaRussa.

The Blue Jays have lost about forty five starters this year, so it's not a surprise that they have turned to the ageless and unbreakable Jaime Moyer.

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