Miguel Batista's Def Poetry Jam Applesauce: Includes Free Scones and Unearned Runs

I'm Justin Turner and I play first base. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

The Mets are bad again, you guys! Granted, this particular loss did everything it could to troll the Amazin Avenue readership, featuring a Miguel Batista appearance in a high leverage situation, a Mike Nickeas flub on a sure double play, and of course, Justin Turner playing first base. The Mets fall to 3 1/2 back of the Nats in the East as they fly back home to face Phily and Chicago before the All-Star Break. Mets have the day off, but you can watch the Bisons tonight as they take on the Durham Bulls. With a rotation that includes Matt Harvey, Jeurys Familia and Collin McHugh, of course we get to watch Garrett Olson. Well, I'm watching for Josh Satin anyway, so whatever. In other Buffalo news, Wally is probably saying things that haven't been vetted by the front office again.


The other crappy news of the day concerns the mysterious election of Pablo Sandoval to start third base for the National League in this year's all star game. Two million votes in 48 hours, Joe Kennedy doesn't think seems fishy at all. (No politix!) That kerfluffle kind of buried the news that R.A. Freaking Dickey is going to the all-star game. Though obviously you could chalk that up to being a foregone conclusion, because Dickey is magnificent. Now we just have to make sure old man LaRussa doesn't screw this up and start Lance Lynn or something. Which he probably will, because he's a troll.

Jason Bay and Frank Francisco are on the road back from the disabled list. Probably a bad sign that I will be happy when they both get back, because it's an upgrade over what we have right now.

Toby Hyde takes a look at Zack Wheeler's recent issues. Hardly time to hit the panic button, but this is why you give guys time at each level to make adjustments.

Okay, Jason Fry, we get the point.

Around the NL East

The Nationals rocked Tim Hudson for six runs to win their series with Atlanta. Braves and Nats will face off again in the Final Vote for the All-Star Game, as Michael Bourn, Chipper Jones, and Bryce Harper are all candidates. Noted jerkface Bryce Harper thinks it should be Chipper, though frankly Bourn has the best case out of the candidates.

The Phillies lose again to the Fish, but don't worry Phillies' fans, Ruben Amaro has everything under control. And Ryan Howard will be back soon. Now to be fair, powder blue isn't flattering on anyone. But yikes.

Around MLB

Here are your full rosters for thje 83rd All-Star Game. It still kinda counts for stuff!

The Rays' skid continues as they lost 3 of 4 to the Tigers at home. At least David Price's back tightness seems to be no big deal.

The Giants walked off against to the Reds with an assist from Jay Bruce.

Looks like the Carlos Lee to the Dodgers deal is officially dead. But totally because the Dodgers don't want him anymore, and not because Lee excercised his no-trade clause.

Super aggro bro Brett Lawrie did this in the Jays loss to the Angels. Clean or dirty?

And finally, Bobby V finds himself in hot water again, this time for producing a documentary critical of MLB's role in Latin America.

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