Passion of the Dickey


[1] And straightway in the morning the media held a consultation with the coaches and reporters and the whole MLB, and bound Dickey, and carried him away, and delivered him to Selig.
[2] And Selig asked him, Art thou the King of the Mets? And he answering said unto him, Thou sayest it.
[3] And the media accused him of many things: but he answered nothing.
[4] And Selig asked him again, saying, Answerest thou nothing? Behold how many things they witness against thee.
[5] But Dickey yet answered nothing; so that Selig marvelled.
[6] Now at that feast he released unto them one prisoner, whomsoever they desired.
[7] And there was one named Cain, which lay bound with them that had made good pitching with him, who had committed beaning in the 2009 season.
[8] And the multitude crying aloud began to desire him to do as he had ever done unto them.
[9] But La Russa answered them, saying, Will ye that I start unto you the King of the Mets?
[10] For he knew that the media had delivered him for envy.
[11] But the media moved the coaches, that he should rather start Cain unto them.
[12] And La Russa answered and said again unto them, What will ye then that I shall do unto him whom ye call the King of the Mets?
[13] And they cried out again, Don’t start him.
[14] Then La Russa said unto them, Why, what stat hath he not led in? And they cried out the more exceedingly, Don’t start him.
[15] And so La Russa, willing to content the people, started Cain unto them, and delivered Dickey, after he had screwed him, to the bullpen.
[16] And the police led him away into the stadium, called Kauffman Stadium; and they call together the whole band.
[17] And they clothed him with blue, and platted a cap of Mets, and put it about his head,
[18] And began to salute him, Hail, King of the Mets!
[19] And they smote him on the head with a reed, and did spit upon him, and bowing their knees worshipped him.
[20] And when they had mocked him, they took off the blue from him, and put his own clothes on him, and led him out to put him in the bullpen.
[21] And they compel one Neil Simon, a Cyrenian who passed by, coming out of the basement of his mother, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to bear his cross.
[22] And they bring him unto the place the bullpen, which is, being interpreted, The pen of a bull.
[23] And they gave him to drink Gatorade mingled with myrrh: but he received it not.
[24] And when they had bullpenned him, they parted his autographs, casting lots upon them, what every man should take and sell on eBay
[25] And it was the third hour, and they bullpenned him.
[26] And the superscription of his accusation was written over, THE KING OF THE METS.
[27] And with him they bullpenned two pitchers; the one on his right hand, and the other on his left.
[28] And the scripture was fulfilled, which saith, And he was numbered with the transgressors.
[29] And they that passed by railed on him, wagging their heads, and saying, Ah, thou that destroyest the Shea, and buildest it in three years,
[30] Save thyself, and come down from the bullpen.
[31] Likewise also the bench coaches mocking said among themselves with the reporters, He saved others games; himself he cannot start.
[32] Let Dickey the King of Citi descend now from the bullpen, that we may see and believe. And they that were bullpenned with him reviled him.
[33] And when the sixth hour was come, there was darkness over the whole land of K.C. until the ninth hour.
[34] And at the ninth hour Dickey cried with a loud voice, saying, Larus, Larus, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, La Russa, La Russa, why hast thou forsaken me?
[35] And some of them that stood by, when they heard it, said, Behold, he calleth La Russa.
[36] And one ran and filled a spunge full of water, and put it on a cup, and gave him to drink, saying, Let alone; let us see whether La Russa will come to put him in.
[37] And Dickey cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost.
[38] And the bunting of the stadium was rent in twain from the top to the bottom.
[39] And when the police, which stood over against him by the bullpen, saw that he so cried out, and gave up the ghost, he said, Truly this man was the King of the Mets.


This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions, reasoning skills, or attention to grammar and usage rules held by the editors of this site.

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