The Life And Death Of A Joke

USA TODAY Sports

February 23: Collin Cowgill scores from second base on a ground ball. As he enters the locker room, David Wright greets him, trying to affect a Christopher Walken impression in spite of his perpetual smirk.

Wright: "We need more Cowgill!"

Cowgill: "Haha. Heard that one before..."

March 25: Cowgill has finished spring training with an impressive .345/.406/.672 slash line. Terry Collins approaches him at his Port St. Lucie locker.

Collins: "I've got a fever. And I'm going to be seeing a lot more of Cowgill."

Cowgill: "What?"

Collins: "Never mind. You made the team. Congratulations, son."

April 19: Cowgill hits a walk-off, pinch-hit single in the bottom of the ninth inning against the Nationals. Terry Collins addresses the team after the game.

Collins: "Well I guess it was true. We needed more Cowgill!"

*Everyone laugh and claps.*

May 2: Cowgill has a .967 OPS but just six games started. He stops by manager Terry Collins's office.

Collins: "Hey Collin, what's up?"

Cowgill: "I was just thinking, we could use some more Cowgill!"

Collins: "Ha! You got me."

Cowgill: "No seriously...I think I deserve more playing time."

Collins: "Oh...I'll think about it, sure."

June 4: Cowgill is 1 for his last 19. Terry Collins catches him in the tunnel before a game.

Collins: "Collin, we need more...from Cowgill. We need...more Cowgill hitting. ...Just hit better, OK?"

June 16: Terry Collins sits down for his usual press conference after losing the final game of a particularly disheartening sweep at the hands of the lowly Cubs.

Collins: "I just can't put my finger on it...We're trying hard...We're playing fine...We just need that little extra, something more."

Andy Martino: "More Cowgill?"

*Everyone but Collins laughs*

Collins: "You think this is funny, Andy?"

Martino: "No, it was just a joke. I--"

Collins: "You think I'm a joke?

Martino: "No I--"

Collins: "THIS IS MY JOB. THIS IS MY LIFE. IT'S NOT A JOKE TO ME. TURN THOSE CAMERAS OFF--"

July 30: Sandy Alderson confronts Collin Cowgill in front of his locker.

Alderson: "Hey Collin, how's it going?"

Cowgill: "All right..."

Alderson: "Good, good. Hey, listen, we're going to need a lot less Cowgill. In fact, we need no more Cowgill. Seriously, you've been traded to Cincinnati. Get the hell out of here."

September 9: The Wilpons visit the locker room before the game. Fred Wilpon attempts to give an inspirational speech.

Fred Wilpon: "Go out there and hit, and pitch...and we need more bullhorn! Did I do that right, Jeff?"

Jeff Wilpon: "No, and they're not saying that anymore."

Fred Wilpon: "Yea, whatever."

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