Mets Morning News: Batters? We don't need no stinkin' batters

Elsa

In which we're not laughing with the LOLpen, Giancarlo Stanton's power is no laughing matter, and the idea of Bud Selig retiring is a real laugher.

Meet the Mets

Shorter yesterday's game: Ughughughuhgugh.

Longer yesterday's game: Well, at least Matt Harvey is pitching tonight.

Now let's just move on, shall we?

Even the usually even-keeled philosopher of all things Mets, Greg Prince, seems to be getting a little bit agitated at the Mets performance so far in 2013.

Hmm, I'm sure you all can come up with your own quips in response to this headline.

Jared Diamond of the Wall Street Journal has noticed that the Mets bullpen is starting to become a real problem. It's his first year on the Mets beat, so we'll give him a pass for not knowing that it's been a problem since roughly 2007. But good news everyone! Frank Francisco is coming back, and he feels 'okay.'

Howard Megdal has noticed that the Mets hopes for a stable rotation may rest with Dillon Gee and Jeremy Hefner.Not gonna lie, that makes me a little bit nervous.

And Toby Hyde talked with Sand Gnats pitching coach Frank Viola about sleeper prospect Rainy Lara, who has been carving up South Atlantic League hitters.

Yesterday at AA

Brock Mahan celebrated Dillon Gee's birthday and Tug McGraw's first decision as a Met on This Date in Mets History.

Around the NL East

I don't know why you would want to read The Good Phight's recap of yesterday's game, but I report, you decide (not to read it, I assume. You could also light it on fire, but that seems like it would be needlessly damaging to your computer or mobile device.)

The Good Phight is also excited about Chooch's return. Just in time to cot for choice. Which I am to understand is important or something.

Adam LaRoche is slumping for the Nationals, but Davey Johnson is not concerned. Meanwhile, the Reds finally managed to cool off the Washington pitching staff and avoided a three-game sweep. The Reds' Tony Cigrani also achieved the rare four-strikeout inning in this one.

BREAKING: Bryce Harper's first "full" season in baseball was pretty good. He's also the focus of a documentary premiering this week on ESPN.

Giancarlo Stanton his another home run in the Marlins 6-4 win over the Cubs. Here's video of his first two taters if you are into that sort of thing.

Talking Chop posted part two of their interview with ESPN's Buster Olney. Hopefully that helps distract from the drubbing they took at the hands of the Tigers.

Around MLB

Here's yesterday's scoreboard for your perusal.

Rob Neyer writes about what baseball will be like in the year 3000. It will probably still include Bud Selig as commissioner, despite the commish's insistence that he will really for real this time retire in 2015.

Jeff Sullivan once again checks in with the week's worst pitches and swings.

Apparently rumors about Ted Berg's death have been greatly exaggerated, because he wrote about baseball's next knuckleballer over at USA Today.

Beyond the Box Score takes a look at the Cardinals success with runners in scoring position.

And finally The Hardball Times profiles George Brunet.

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