FanPost

Mets Theater

As an insider of the Mets organization, I’m lucky enough to have special access to the team that most people will never get to experience. For security reasons I’m unable to disclose my actual identity, but I assure you, I’ll have the opportunity to provide you with information that will clearly substantiate my claim. It’s amazin’ how much these players bond over the course of a year. Let alone how close players tend to become after playing several seasons together. I’ve learned a lot about our New York Mets in my time around the team, and I feel lucky to be able to witness the interactions between the players, especially during the most intimate of moments.

So lucky, in fact, that I’ve decided to pay it forward.

I want Mets fans to know what really happens when the cameras turn off and the post-game interviews are over. I want Mets fans to realize how their favorite players react to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. I want Mets fans to be aware of the conversations that take place in the bullpen, the interactions on the team plane, and all of the other banter that ensues between players, coaches, and management. I believe that only when the fans know this, will they really begin to understand the true identity of the team. . .of the New York Mets.

Why share this with you now?
Well, because I just witnessed an event that leads me to believe the Mets are about to embark on a 2nd half tear that will lead them to the post season. The event I speak of was a meeting in San Diego held by Terry Collins before the series with the Padres. The meeting was meant to capitalize on the positive energy from the recent 8-2 pre all-star game home stand and inspire his team.

Well. . .inspire the team he did.

The following is a verbatim transcript of what occurred at that meeting:

Terry Collins: All right you whippersnappers! I hope you enjoyed your well-deserved break, but it’s time to get back to the grindstone. I’m sure all of you youngsters spent time out on the town until the wee hours of 10:30pm listening to your pop-hop music, drinking cherry cokes spiked with bourbon, but now it’s time to focus. Looks like we found a little hitch in our britches at home before the break, and I think we’re poised for a bit of a run, boys. Our starting pitching is strong, and the kids in our bullpen have become a strength for us. David and Travis are starting to come around, Curtis has really picked it up, Ruben has been. . . . .Lucas has been seeing the ball great.

Lucas Duda: DUDA SMASH.

David Wright: Ya know, Terry is right guys. You all are really starting to play well. I mean gosh, our pitching is just marvelous. Jenrry, Jeurys, Vic, you guys in the bullpen have been great. I wish I was great like you guys.

Jenrry Mejia: (to himself) "Ju bedder fuking belieb I’m glate."

Wright: What was that, Jenrry?

Mejia: "uh. . .I say. . .jes, I belieb."

Wright: I’m so pleased with all of your performances. I’m with Skip, I think we’re on to something here. If I can get my performance up to par, what’s to say we can’t make a nice little push to .500 and see what happens from there?

Ruben Tejada: Don’t be so hard on yourself David, you’ll pick i. . .

Kirk Nieuwenhuis: (interrupting Tejada) Shut the fuck up Ruben. Nobody cares what you have to say.

Matt Harvey: We can do this fellas, everything’s starting to click. I have faith in you guys. If we stay positive and play together the sky is the limit. I’ll be having sex with Kate Upton in no time!

Zack Wheeler: Yeah, let’s play for each other, fellas. Let’s have each other’s backs and do our job. If we all promise each other that we’ll do our jobs and believe in each other to succeed, I think we have the pieces to be one of the best teams in the league. Hard work and the will to succeed, guys, that’s all we need. We’re destined to be great! Ya gotta believe!

Travis d'Arnaud: I feel you Matt.

Juan Lagares: Alright, Matt. I have faith too.

Dillon Gee: You got a point there, Matt.

Wright: We’re gonna get you Kate Upton, buddy.

Duda: DUDA AGREE WITH HARVEY.

Wheeler: Uhhh, didn’t I. . .say more or less the same. . .

Tejada: It’s ok Zack, I appreciate y. . .

Wheeler: (interrupting Tejada) Shut the fuck up Ruben!

Collins: Hey, where’s Daniel?

John Niese: Oh, Murph’s been in the cage for hours. He seemed pretty bummed about striking out in the all-star game and has been putting in some extra work.

Wright: Typical Murph.

::Daniel Murphy enters::

Collins: Daniel you’re late.

Daniel Murphy: Sorry coach. I was getting some extra work in the cage, and when I went to write some notes in my batting cage log about my weaknesses, I dropped my pen. That’s unacceptable. So I instantly started doing finger workouts to increase my pen grip strength. Gotta get better, ya know. My apologies, Skip. I’ll run extra laps around before the game. That’ll teach me. Yeah, extra laps and I won’t eat today. That’ll teach me to be more disciplined.

Wright: Don’t be so hard on yourself Daniel. It’s ok. You’re such a gosh-darn hard worker. Definitely a way harder worker than me.

Tejada: Yeah Murph,I think you played great in the all-st

Murphy: (interrupting Tejada) shut the fuck up Ruben!

Collins: Danny, you just missed Matt talk to the team about how they think we have what it takes to make the post season. He sees the same thing I do. With you as our all-star, whaddaya say we capitalize on our recent success?

Wheeler: Just Matt said that?

Murphy: Yeah Guys, I’m with Skip and Matt. Look at the talent in this room. We have everything it takes. We just need to work hard. When you feel lazy, work harder. It might be hard, but hard work breeds success.

Mejia: (to himself) "I gon to bee sussessfoo. I goin to hab sex with Kayt Uptown."

Murphy: What was that, Jennry?

Mejia: "uh. . .jes, I belieb"

Collins: Kids, let me tell you a story to give you some perspective. When I was a youngster, I used to have to walk 15 miles in the snow without shoes to get from the bullpen to get to the mound. . .um, and sometimes I would have to carry my younger sister with me because. . .uh. . .she had. . .whooping cough. . .and I had to make this walk with my legs tied together. . .because. . .umm. . .President McKinley. . .didn’t. . .you know. . .cherries jubilee. . .and. . .uh, frostbite! Oh the frostbite was so bad. . .

Murphy: (to himself, writing notes in his log) Tie legs together. . .15 mile walk in the snow. . .carrying young diseased child. What a genius workout idea. . .probably improves dexterity. . .

Collins: So you see, if I could do that, I don’t you see why you rapscallions can string together a couple months of +.500 baseball. . .and why not start with the Padres!? They just got no-hit by Tim Wakefield a few weeks back!

Gee: You mean Tim Lincecum, Skip.

Collins: Don’t correct me Dillon! I know what I said!!

Curtis Granderson: (to himself, shaking his head and counting hundred dollar bills) "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

Collins: Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, these San Francisco Padres were just recently no-hit by Tim Worrell, I guarantee there’s no way they’ll beat us 2 out of 3 games this series. NO WAY! Mark my words! Once we take care of business here in San Antonio, then let’s take care of the rest of the league!! Whaddaya say fellas!?!

Mejia: (to himself) "I de bes to tayk on de leeg"

Collins: What was that Harry?

Mejia: uh. . .I ses. . .I beleeb in ju? . . .Les go Mess?

Wright: That’s the spirit Jenrry! Let’s go Mets. . .Let’s go METS. . .Let’s GO METS! LET’S GO METS!!

Wright, Harvey, Gee, and Murphy together: LET’S GO METS. LET’S GO METS. . .

Entire team together: LET’S GO METS, LET’S GO METS, LET’S GO METS!

Duda: DUDA FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT!

Tejada: . . .LET’S GO METS!

Entire team together: Shut the fuck up Ruben!!

Wright: Now let’s go out there and get those Padres!

:: The Mets begin storming out of the clubhouse to begin pre-game workouts::

Chris Young: (to Ruben Tejada) Hey don’t worry about the guys, Homie. I know how it. . .

Tejada: (Interrupting Young) SHUT THE FUCK UP, CHRIS!!

So, as you see, the accuracy of this transcript should dispel any doubt about my legitimacy. The emotion in the room was electric and I am excited not only for the remainder of the season, but also to give you some more insight into the personalities of the entire Mets roster as the year goes on.

You're Welcome.


This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any vetting or approval process.