satire Stories - Amazin' Avenue
Adrian Gonzalez Trade Accidental? Epstein Cites "Tragic Misunderstanding" as Cause
Red Sox Nation may be very curious how the Adrian Gonzalez trade came about so quickly. Here at OTM, we never rest on our laurels, so we did our own background check as for what brought everything together in just a matter of days, particularly with multiple other trade talks ongoing. Our results...
There is only mild hope for the delusional
I saved somebody from delusion yesterday. The guy I saved was at the trolley stop downtown next to the House of Blues. He was wearing a Padres cap and a Padres hoodie. I positioned myself near him until we were standing almost shoulder to shoulder. Quietly, without turning my head and barely moving...
A Guest Post From Jeff Francoeur
As I mentioned the other day, Jeff Francoeur is a blogger, just like us! In case you aren't up to date here are some highlights from Jeff's site: Happy Birthday Delta! 80 years. Wow, you guys are getting up there! I just wanted to wish you a very happy 80th birthday and thank you for not only...
And That Happened
After a devastating loss Friday, general Omar Minaya announced a surprise press conference the following morning to announce some serious personnel changes. "First I've decided the best direction to take this team is with a new manager," he said, shocking all press members in attendance. It had...
A Modest Proposal To Fix The Mets
Clearly the Mets are broken. Currently at 10-12, my advanced projections systems see them finishing a meager 74-88, far behind the disappointing Mets teams of recent history. To this point, most Mets fans and media members have shown surprising patience. It has become exceedingly clear to me and a...
Millions shocked at Yankees' tarnished season
NEW YORK - Chaos ensued in New York City tonight after a rough start by New York Yankees' pitcher CC Sabathia resulted in the Bronx Bombers' first loss of the season. Sabathia allowed six runs in 4.1 innings against the Orioles who went on to easily win the game 10-5. As soon as the game finished,...
The Cautionary Tale of Jeff Niemann
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Dear Omar,
If you or one of your interns just so happen to read this, I would like to give you the rundown on why you should most certainly trade for Edwin Jackson. Oh, and do so quickly so those Rays fellers don't come to their senses... Meet Edwin Jackson: 14 victories. That lead the staff and was more...
White Sox Acquire Javelinas, Rafters
SURPRISE, AZ -- In an unprecedented move, the Chicago White Sox acquired one-third of the Arizona Fall League Saturday. The Arizona Fall League has been called a finishing school for top prospects. Every year since taking over as White Sox GM, Kenny Williams has made it a point to personally...
BREAKING NEWS: ALCS "Not the WWF"
By the Aggravated Press via cache.daylife.com St. Petersburg, FL: In an early morning press conference, David "Big Papi" Ortiz discussed the American League Champsionship Series. He expanded upon his previous remarks, made Friday, about how the ALCS was "not the WWF." "There's no bad blood....
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