I need to get the spelling right so I can scrawl it on the padded walls of the asylum I'll be living in, should he ever become our actual closer.
Armando Benitez, we hardly knew ye. Thank goodness Ambiorix is here to remind us, and to have the same initials. Prayse Jaysus.
No, no. I'm not being alarmist, fatalistic, existential, or even serious. But Amby dropped quite the pattie on the field today. According to the box score Amby pitched one inning successfully before I tuned in, but I was only able to catch the bottom of the ninth of today's game, so I saw it thusly:
Amby on the mound. 5-5 score.
You can cut the tension with an axe! Bring the heat, baby!
Excitement level: 8.
Chop infield single to AHern.
That's ok, stay with it! A good throw would have had him, but AHern was off-balance.
Excitement level: 6.
Line out to AHern, runner safe back at first.
Alright, Ambiorix! You got it, baby! Bring the heat!
Excitement level: 7.
Single to center. Runners at 1st and 2nd, one out.
Focus, Amby. Focus.
Excitement level: 4.
McEwing Steps to the plate (yes, that Joe McEwing).
Excitement level: 5.
McEwing walks. Bases loaded, one out.
Excitement level: 2.
Flashes of Subway Series Game 1. Large, sweaty, incompetent pitcher trudges off mound dejectedly.
Excitement level: -6.
Go post a diary on AA. Feeling better.
Excitement level: 0.