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Philadelphia forcing Mets fans to hit new Lowe

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In the midst of a rambling article John Harper has this nugget: "OK, so here's a thought: Any chance the Phillies would take Carlos Beltran even up for Shane Victorino? " I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was being facetious. But based on the way he blows Victorino, I think he's serious. So to answer the question: A. Of course the Phillies would make that deal. A brain dead monkey would make that and deal, and B. (to steal directly form Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers) REALLY? Trading Beltran for Victorino? This is your solution to the Mets problems? REALLY?