NY Mets: 2025

NOTE: Last night while attending the Mets game in Washington, my brother (Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright) and I thought about the future of the Mets. This is one thing we thought might happen.

The Year: 2025, the day after the Wilpons sell the team
The Place: Citi Field
The Event: Cleaning out the old offices
Characters: Mets new owner, Trainor Allinson Braindington (Canadian millionaire) and his accountant, Phil.

TAB: Phil, have you finished looking over the books?

Phil: Very nearly, Mr. Braindington.

TAB: Good. Anything strange?

Phil: One or two things.

TAB: What are they?

Phil: First of all, nothing in Mr. Wilpon's file cabinet has a Mets logo on it.

TAB: What?

Phil: Look at this...and this...(Hands him papers.)

TAB: The letter head says "The New-New York Dodgers Baseball Club"

Phil: Strange, no?

TAB: Sure is, eh.

Phil: And there is this other thing. In the personnel file there is one player who's been paid every two weeks since 2008.

TAB: A secretary? I thought they all quit in 2016 when Bernazard stopped wearing pants to work.

Phil: No, it is someone named "Storks."

TAB: What? Who is Storks?

Phil: The file says "Storks", but all the checks are issued to someone named "Brian Stokes"

TAB: He's been out of baseball for years.

Phil: Yes. He retired after winning the Cy Young Award three times as a closer for the Phillies.

TAB: He was amazing, wasn't he?

Phil: You can say that again. Anyway, he's been paid by the Mets for years - even after they ditched him in Atlanta in September '09 when he got stranded by the team bus in Atlanta after they mistook one of the bat boys for him during the head count.

TAB: Oh yeah. They left the stadium withouth him. Jerry and Omar claimed that they had never heard of him before, so Selig let him sign with the Phillies.

Phil: You have a great memory, sir.

TAB: Thank you. So this guy's been getting a check every since.

Phil: Yes. No one told the accountants to stop cutting checks. There's even a response to a memo from Omar that states "Why does everyone keep bringing up this Stukes guy?"

TAB: Well, let's give him a call and stop cutting checks.

Phil: Will do, sir.

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