Marlins 7, Mets 2: Ollie Sucks, Dickey Should Be On Next Plane From Buffalo

Another day, another breathtakingly awful Oliver Perez start. Perez made it through just 3.1 innings before being mercifully yanked from action. His final line: nine hits, seven runs, three walks, five strikeouts, four home runs, just 12 of 22 first pitch strikes. I would say it's about time to label the Oliver Perez experiment a thoroughgoing failure, but this gasoline fire has raged for far too long to still be considered merely an experiment. Oliver Perez is our version of The Lost World: It seemed like a good idea at the time because everyone really dug the original, but the second go-round was way too expensive, promised way too much, and just delivered far less Sam Neill than we all deserved. We demand more, but I'll save the "Dump Ollie/Hooray Sam Neill" post for later. This weekend, probably.

As for the rest of the game, after the Mets were handed a 7-0 deficit in the fourth inning, they quickly packed in the game like a frat boy with a fresh tin of Skoal, leaving the rest of us predictably nauseated at having been party to the whole ordeal. If you were looking for this season in a nutshell, this ballgame had it all.

• David Wright drawing a walk.
• David Wright striking out twice.
• Jose Reyes taking an oh-fer.
• Jeff Francoeur pounding four Baconators.
• Rod Barajas gitting 'er done.

Yes, a gay time was had by all. And by "all" I mean "nobody". The Mets now find themselves four games back in the NL East with a heap of questions that need answerin', and they'll give it another go Saturday night when John Maine takes on Nate Robertson. If the 2010 Mets season continues to unfold anything like the final miserable season of Lost, we'll get an answer to a question that wasn't asked, a bunch of new questions about things that defy terrestrial logic, and the continued ham-fisted unraveling of murky, shapeless character arcs of people we've long since stopped caring about (I'm looking at you, Hurley Alex Cora).

Beer of the game: Dream Weaver Wheat from Tröegs Brewing Company, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

"Pours golden and hazy just like a good unfiltered hefe should. I love the snap and spiciness that this offering carries with it. Like it with a lemon but it has, plenty of zestiness on its own. Thumbs up in a world of too many bland wheat beers." --RateBeer User Review

Poem by Howard Megdal

Is it too warm? Is it too cold?
Where is his fastball? He's not that old!
Bunches of walks, even for him
Future in the rotation is dim
Lefties now take him out of the yard
Making the case for Ollie is hard

SB Nation Coverage

* Traditional Recap
* Boxscore
* Amazin' Avenue Gamethread
* FishStripes Gamethread

Win Probability Added

Big winners: Jason Bay, +2.9% WPA, Oliver Perez (batter), +2.8% WPA
Big losers: Oliver Perez (pitcher), -27.6% WPA, David Wright, -6.6% WPA
Teh aw3s0mest play: Paulino strikeout in second, +6.1% WPA
Teh sux0rest play: Uggla three-run home run in third, -22.1% WPA
Total pitcher WPA: -25.2% WPA
Total batter WPA: -24.8% WPA
GWRBI!: Dan Uggla

Game Thread Roll Call

Nice job by Gina; her effort in the game thread embiggens us all.