There hasn't been a ton of turnover for the Mets this year, but enough that it's time to look at the newcomers and decipher what we have. In particular, let's handicap some nicknames for the newest members of the crew. You know, the important stuff. We've got you covered.
The Front Office
It would be pretty sweet to give Sandy Alderson a nickname. Perhaps he could be something like "The Southern Dandy," Homer Simpson's boxing name. Except that he's from up and down the West Coast so the adjective doesn't work. We could call back on his time in the Marine Corps and call him "Lieutenant" (since "Lieutenant Colonel" is just too much of a mouthful), but that's a lesser rank than the one he's got achieved as a civilian. I kinda like 'Sarge' but that's neither here nor there.
You know what? I think maybe he shouldn't have a nickname. He's the leader. Nicknames are not quite derogatory, but they do imply some sort of quirk. Do we want him to be a "Trader Jack" or a "Cash?" At least one place on the internets seems to think Omar Minaya's nickname was 'O,' but I don't remember calling him that. In this case, maybe we should wait and see.Paul DePodesta is an easy one: D3PO. He's got the sabremetric leanings, the probably unfair attacks on his personality, and the long last name begging to be shortened. J.P. Ricciardi owns a permanent nickname, unless we want to turn it around on him and call him "John Paul," which might be kind of funny. Either way we get to avoid the long last name.
Let's just get the real easy one out of the way. Chin-Lung Hu could be "Hu's the Man," "Hu's on First," or "Hu's on Short," but to keep things short and baseball-y, we could also go with "Hu-chy." Or not. It's easy enough, but we'll see how annoying it gets when the broadcast team gets a hold of his name when he enters the game.
Josh Thole ("For Whom the Bell Tholes") and "We Like" Ike Davis are joined on the infield by Brad Emaus and Daniel Muprhy (good old "Murph"). What should we do with our infielder? "Eek-A-Maus" after the reggae great? Unfortunately, the name is pronounced more like it rhymes with "Amadeus" - if he's a Mozart at the plate maybe that will work for him. David Wright has too many to count and none has really stuck, so we'll leave the rest of them to headline writers everywhere.
If we see some Justin Turner we will probably be happy that he arrived "Justin Time" - badumching - but from the rapper JT the Bigga Figga, we can just use the initials and call it a day, "J.T." And of course, we're all rooting for Nick Evans, or "Who?" Unfortunately, backup catcher Ronny Paulino comes with some nicknames of his own, and they aren't complimentary. Check Bucs Dugout for more on the reasoning behind "Ronny Ballgame" and "Joggin Ronnie," but I think you can guess what that is all about. We'll keep an open mind, as always.
Carlos Beltran is our own personal "Voltron," but hopefully for the outfield defense's sake he'll cede center field to Angel Pagan. Wikipedia tells us he's "El Caballo Loco," which isn't bad but I'm not sure I've heard Murphy called the "Irish Hammer," so I'm a little skeptical of the list.
Jason Bay, however, is a name that begs a nickname but hasn't quite found one yet. "E-Bay' is a little derogatory zing at his defense, but if he could hit more homers it might be "Bomb-Bay." He doesn't quite have the bubbly personality to be "Bay-Bee," and a few years ago he could have been "Shea-Bay," but last year was all "Oy Bay." Then again, most of these came from a thread at The Ropolitans upon his signing, so can we say that any really stuck?
Is Jason Pridie "Prideful?" I had a strength coach that once muttered "Pride" indiscriminately, so there's a nickname if he makes the team. Lucas Duda "Duda-Day" seems about right.
Most of our returners have established themselves as nicknamed (Mike Pelfrey, the "Big Pelf") or nicknameless (Johan Santana) by now. Of course, young Jon Niese should probably be "Niesty," or at least he is in my book. And here, at Amazin, we can call R.A. Dickey "Dickey-Face," right? We all know it's a term of endearment. Dillon Gee "Unit" is also not as nasty as it seems at first.
One of the newcomers in the rotation is Chris Young "The Pitcher" as his fantasy nickname goes, but he could be "Ivy" or "Ivy League" for his Yale background, or even "Baller" for his basketball past. One article suggests "C.Y." or "E.Y." (for "Evil C.Y."), but those are only okay. The other newbie, Chris Capuano, is probably just "Cap" because that's how baseball goes, but maybe we can push this one further? The "Swallows of San Juan Capuano"? Too esoteric? Well, Jack Moore tells me that they just called him Cappy in Milwaukee, so that'll probably stick here too.
The pen has Francisco Rodriguez ("K-Rod" of course) and a buncha dudes for now. They might have to do something more to deserve a nickname for now. Bobby Parnell seems like he's been around forever, but has he been good enough for a nickname? "Gas?" "Bobby 100?" We'll see.
The Rest? Well, for now, they are a Pat Misch-sized "Mischtery."