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Baseball Surnacronyms

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Over at SBNation.com, Rob Neyer drops in with something he—or, rather, Bill James—calls baseball surnacronyms. The idea is simple: turn a baseball player's last name into an acronym which describes him. Some examples from Rob:

Chone Figgins: Flexible Infielder, Good Glove, Is Not Slow

Craig Biggio: Began In Gear, Grew Into Outfielder

Jason Giambi: Grew In Artificial Manner By Injection

What can you come up with? I'll add the best ones to this post.

Mo Vaughn: Voracious Appetite, Ultimate Gastronomer, Heart-attack Nigh (by kendynamo).

Jose Reyes: Runs Everyday Yet Everyone Sneers (by attgig)

Bret Saberhagen: Spraying Ajax Bleach Everywhere Really Harmless After Game Enjoyment Not (by Jay_What)

Ike Davis: Dude Ascends Violently Into Stands (by ILikeIke#29)

Bernie Madoff: Milked Amazins Dry; Organization F!@#ed Financially (by hoyadestroya85)