Breaking News: Mets To Pay Bobby Bonilla Millions Through 2035

Except it's not breaking at all. The New York Post is the latest outlet to re-hash this ancient news which has been public knowledge for quite some time. Here are examples of newspapers reporting this shocking revelation:

May 15th, 2011 -- New York Post: Met Has-Been Bobby Bonilla To Get $30 Million In Deferred Salary

January 10th, 2011 -- Newsday: Money For Nothing: Bonilla's Back On Payroll

July 1st, 2010 -- Wall Street Journal: Why The New York Mets Still Owe Bobby Bonilla Nearly $30 Million

April 27th, 2010 -- Daily News: New York Mets Still Have To Pay Bobby Bonilla

It's the fallback story whenever an editor wants a "woe is Mets" article.

"David Wright hit a game-winning home run? Carlos Beltran jacked three in one game? Hmm, we need some negativity. I know -- write about the Bonilla annuity and pretend it isn't old news!"

With so many other fresh "Meet the Mess" narratives out there, why is the Bonilla story so often the choice? For the tabloid scribes, here is a list of topics to mix it up during stretches in which the Mets are playing well. You're welcome in advance:

• MADOFF! Bonus points for writing that Madoff made off with the Wilpons' money.
• Anything about "former Met" Len Dykstra.
• Willie Randolph was fired at 3 am.
• Jose Reyes is stupid.
• Carlos Beltran doesn't care.
• David Wright isn't clutch.
• Angel Pagan has a low baseball IQ.
• The Moneyball front office. Must be referenced derisively.
• The only thing separating the Mets and Phillies is grit/passion/swagger/edge/heart.

There's plenty more but I'm spent. The writer who can reference all of these in one piece wins an autographed copy of the Amazin' Avenue Annual and a swift kick to the nether regions.