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Slow News Day Applesauce: Beltran's a starter, K-Rod's a closer, and other stuff, I guess

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Selfish Beltran refuses to give glove he won't be needing to nearby fan. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Selfish Beltran refuses to give glove he won't be needing to nearby fan. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Meet the Mets

The Mets did not play last night, thus where normally my game recap would go, instead will be my favorite Mets related Onion article ever. Yes, I like it more than this one, as weird as that may be.

Speaking of the Voltron, he will start at DH and bat 2nd, because he is selfishly protecting his legs for the Boston Red Sox. 

Since it is the all-star break,it's time for first half grades for the Mets. D.J. Carrasco's class participation was lacking, clearly.

K-Rod is now officially a client of Scott Boras. This could be good or bad for the Mets, but I'd think Boras has to be pushing for a trade or the like, since he doesn't get commission on the previous contract. On the other hand, there is this. Of course, the Mets could just eat the year's salary and the buyout and trade him to one of the teams not on his no-trade list. They'd still save about 12 million over letting the option vest. 

Someone actually takes a shot at Jeter while praising Reyes? Do anonymous scouts know about this?

Here's an encouraging update on Gary Carter. I would like to see the Mets at least get him out to the stadium this year for some sort of tribute, though I understand why they probably won't retire his number.

Even Ted Berg didn't have much to report on. He did conduct an interview with Bisons All-Star Chris Schwinden, though.

Around the NL East

Phillies ace Roy Halladay was named the NL starter for the all-star game to the surprise of Jair Jurrjens' mother and exactly no one else.

Craig Kimbrel will join Jonny Venters at the all-star game, replacing Matt Cain.

Brad Peacock got promoted. Still don't know why he got an inning at the Futures Game and Matt Harvey didn't. Like I said, it's a slow news day.

Gaby Sanchez is on the all-star team. Good for him.

Around MLB

The Home Run Derby was last night, which meant ESPN took Chris Berman out of his football offseason suspended animation pod to say "backbackbackbackbackback" a whole lot. Robinson Cano got the duke, edging Adrian Gonzalez 12-11 in the finals. Beat writers everywhere were absolutely thrilled that his father was his designated pitcher, since it meant they only had to do a bare minimum of actual work writing articles about the derby.

Here are your AL and NL line-ups for tonight. Notice Scott Rolen and his 81 wRC+ starting at 3B, not that the other options were great. This guy has 2 WAR, and is hitting .300, but he also doesn't have a position, so how could he possibly play 3B? Especially with Carlos Beltran selfishly hoarding the DH spot.

Bud Selig did his annual chat with the fans, and didn't really answer anything.

Aramis Ramirez did his ode to Gary Templeton.

J.D. Sussman takes a look at how important a good GM is to the success of a franchise.