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Today in Mets eBay Superlatives: Holiday shopping

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Sometimes eBay's depths can be plumbed for spectacular treasures; other times, for some of the most ridiculous objects available. Here we're mostly interested in the latter. Today, your stocking stuffers get sorted.

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Santa Claus, in his summer job
Santa Claus, in his summer job
Alex Trautwig

It's Black Friday, the traditional start of the holiday shopping season. Yesterday we gathered to fill ourselves with turkey and other assorted Pilgrim-themed foods; today we storm the gates of the local Wal-Mart or Target to stuff ourselves with CAPITALISM. I myself am a participant: I picked up the full Mass Effect trilogy last night for $60, which is nice.

I assume, though, that as True Mets Fans, we all will be giving Mets-related gifts to loved ones, without regard to whether they like the Mets, or baseball, or holidays. So I've found a few great stocking stuffers on the Internet that should make any human smile.

Trunks_medium

This is a pair of Mets-themed swim trunks. You can see at a glance the degree to which the spirit of the Mets flows through them. From the small tram insignia at the bottom to the "snakes n' things" pattern that adorns the rest of the garment, these are clearly the swim trunks that Tom Seaver himself would wear on a day at the beach. They might not fit in a stocking, though, so let's move on.

Glasss_medium

If you're going to the beach and thick smog hasn't yet blocked your view of the heavens, the sun will probably be brightly shining on you, giving you a nice base tan and possibly the beginnings of melanoma. Skin is disposable, but new eyes are very expensive, so make sure you protect your sight AND broadly proclaim your team allegiance with these sunglasses. They appear to be Built To Last, and probably will not break a week after you buy them. If you see someone wearing the Yankees model, be sure to move their towels into tidal flow areas.

Earbuds_medium

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of these awesome earbud headphones. Look upon them and despair.

Headphones_medium

What's that? You can't see the ostentatious branding on the earbuds? THROW IT INTO OVERDRIVE. In an upset, these actually sound better than Beats by Dre, and they cost about a tenth as much. Also, Mets.

So there you go, I've done your holiday shopping for you. Don't say you never got anything out of these posts. And direct all thank you notes to me, if you please.